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Samuel L. Adams

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Facebook, Netiquette and the Bible

Posted: 05/17/2012 8:01 am

Social networks have changed our lives. For more than a billion people, platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Skype have become a primary means of interacting. In many respects, the surging popularity of social networks is a positive development. A brave photographer can document evidence of atrocities by the Assad regime in Syria, and then it becomes instantly available around the world. Social media sites have enhanced our democratic system in the United States: many of us follow and participate in online conversations about politics and public policy. The possibilities for churches, synagogues and other religious bodies are also appealing, as members keep abreast of sick persons in their congregation or listen to the latest sermon on a podcast.

Nevertheless, the new platforms have serious pitfalls. Users of social networks, including people of faith, have only begun to lay ground rules for healthy interchange. Careful consideration of the stakes has not accompanied the sudden leap into a new era of social media. We face a daily array of ethical decisions: "Can I push the 'send' button? He was a jerk to me at the meeting yesterday, and he should hear what I have to say while I am still angry." "Is it OK to post this picture on Facebook, even if I have not asked my friend's permission? We look very funny, and my buddies will get a kick out of it." "As long as I am tweeting, can I tell the world what I really think of this person? I have no plans to see her anytime soon, and besides, her politics are very extreme."

These online sites have led to a blurring of the boundaries between our public and private selves, as communication has become so effortless and widespread. The ease and impersonal nature of interaction encourages excessive sharing, so that people frequently reveal far too much about themselves and their peers. Relationships and employment prospects can be threatened or even ruined by inappropriate comments on Facebook. Online political arguments can lead to hard feelings and frayed relationships, since nuance is often lost in online communication.

The possibility of chronic loneliness is yet another pitfall, even as we cultivate an appealing identity on Facebook and Twitter. Social networking sites might provide the high fructose corn syrup of rapid exchange with many different people, but the question remains whether it can ever be an effective substitute for more genuine forms of human interaction. In many cases, Facebook "friendships" can impede careful attention to more immediate family members and friends. As Stephen Marche explained recently in an article for The Atlantic Monthly, Facebook leads to the "illusion of intimacy," as we present a version of ourselves that is not necessarily complete or accurate.

In many cases, social media outlets have also led to a coarsening of communication standards. Some of the material that "goes viral" (an appropriate term) is simply intrusive and mean. Sending around pictures and videos merely for the shock value they bring, no matter the emotional cost to the individual being lampooned: one person's innocent mistake can instantly become fodder for the amusement of millions.

On a more serious level, "cyber-bullying" among teenagers and children has led to tragic consequences in recent years, as many young people now have to navigate vulnerable years through the very public prism of social media. I just bought my daughter a Kindle Fire and had to make tricky decisions about how much to restrict her online access. Fragile egos can shatter through one thoughtless text-message or slanderous Facebook post, leading to permanent damage to a young person's self-esteem. The stinging power of cruel speech is impossible to overestimate.

We live in the age of social media, we are trying to form community in this new landscape, and many individuals are seeking to be people of faith in this context. How do we accomplish these goals, and what is our model for healthy interaction?

Words matter. What we say and how we say it matters, and just because we have new outlets for communication at our disposal, we cannot forget the power of speech to persuade and enrich, but also to denigrate and pierce another's soul. The ability to characterize unfairly when not in the presence of another person is one of our greatest temptations, made even more so by the social networking sites.

Believers throughout the ages have recognized the importance of careful speech, especially in the Bible. We find passionate reflections on whether a figure speaks "the word of God," such as Moses doubting his power of speech in Exodus 4:10. The emphasis on careful speech is also striking in the book of Proverbs, where the power of "the tongue" is a core theme: "Do you see someone who is hasty in speech? There is more hope for a fool than for anyone like that" (29:20). A New Testament passage from the Letter of James (3:1-12) provides a similar message on intemperate speech: "For every species of beast and bird, or reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue -- a restless evil, full of deadly poison" (3:8). The message in these verses is that human beings have an impressive capacity to do a number of things in life, except control our tongues.

Human beings, all of us, are capable of saying terrible things. Like most parents, I want to send the "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" saying to the trash bin. Cruel speech is perhaps the most potent weapon in human arsenals, far more destructive than any physical blow. These verses from Proverbs and James understand the mercurial nature of the tongue, the unpredictable ways in which our brokenness can rear its ugly head and cause us to utter harmful speech. Yet living in the age of social media makes us even more susceptible to careless and hurtful words, because pushing the send button is so much easier than delivering harsh language to another person's face.

There is an important issue to consider when discussing the unpredictability of the tongue: gossip. In one of his memorable poems, Ogden Nash writes the following: "There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees." Nash was not the first person to acknowledge this aspect of human behavior. Psalm 140 commands, "Do not let the slanderer be established in the land" (v. 11). In the New Testament, there is also an abiding concern with gossip, with how various factions perceive and talk about Jesus, how they might try to trap him with deceitful questioning, and how his reputation is spreading.

Yet all gossip is not evil and counterproductive. Relaying news about an absent third party, which is the essence of gossip, can be beneficial and even faithful to God, if it helps integrate that individual more fully into a particular community. The litmus test is whether the shared information has a compassionate dimension, whether it is said in the interest of building community or whether the gossip is simply meant to amuse bored persons who cannot find something else to talk about. Social networks have made it much easier (and impersonal) to engage in the latter type of destructive gossip.

As we navigate the age of social media, it has become necessary to develop some guiding questions for faithful networking. Among the questions we might ask are the following: How can Facebook be used for healthy interaction, but not overused as a substitute for actual (as opposed to virtual) community? How can social networking be harnessed for lively interchange that stops short of malicious gossip? How can people of faith create an online environment for engaging the central questions of their tradition, as opposed to watching the latest voyeuristic video on YouTube? With all of these questions, the message of the Bible on taming our tongues is a useful guide.

The book of Proverbs declares that "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver" (25:11). One can never doubt the power of words to change the world, from the biblical writers, to the amazing complexity of the rabbinic literature, the theological insights of John Calvin and the prophetic message of more recent figures like Martin Luther King, Jr. In the age of social media, a "word fitly spoken" can have lasting resonance, lifting up friends and strangers, and fostering mutual understanding among people of different backgrounds and beliefs.

As we engage Facebook, Twitter and other avenues for online interaction, the ancient sages and prophets in the Bible can be a voice in our ears, encouraging us to seek community and tame our tongues, to gather our thoughts before we type, to think even more carefully before we post, and to be thoughtful, constructive participants in a world that has been forever changed.

 
 
 
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Social networks have changed our lives. For more than a billion people, platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Skype have become a primary means of interacting. In many respects, the surging popularit...
Social networks have changed our lives. For more than a billion people, platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Skype have become a primary means of interacting. In many respects, the surging popularit...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
rtgmath
There has got to be a better way!
02:26 PM on 05/26/2012
The social networks have had another destructive influence, one which we need to think hard about how to mitigate.

Many people find it easy to speak words of faith while not practicing them. They see religion as faith, not works, and so they put on a show for others. Thus they are willing to puff up their "faith speech" with these little "like me if you like Jesus" or "pass this along if you are a true Christian" messages, implying that if you don't go along with their triviality you aren't a believer. They sharpen their condemnation against things that they consider "wrong" or "against the Bible" to hide the fact that that their lives aren't really very Christian either, and they don't study the Bible very much, and they want people to think of them as oh-so-faithful.

Social-network-religiosity is a bane to people actually putting faith into practice with kindness, love and compassion. It perverts the meaning and intent of faith.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Samuel L. Adams
10:10 PM on 05/25/2012
The topic of the article is mutual respect in social networking. Of course the Bible is not the only source in this regard, but there are passages that emphasize cautious speech, and that's helpful advice in this day and age.

I agree with some of you that judgmental posts by Christians or people of other faiths are distasteful, but that is precisely what the article is about: respecting others and engaging in civil discourse. We can bring many resources to bear on this question, including the Bible.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Annie Snyder
Not Going to Sit Down and Shut Up
12:53 AM on 05/24/2012
I have a strict policy. My page is for my enjoyment. I liberally use "unfriend" on virtual Bible botherers.
08:49 AM on 05/23/2012
The acceleration of sin is wherein the downfall lies. In times past a person would have to work hard to find and surround themselves with secret sins, but now such things are quickly available in a moment of merely thinking of it. Prior to this technology before a person could attain to secret sins, there was a period of time from the thought to the obtaining it, which at a minimum gave the person a space in which to reconsider and repent their self; but now it is instant, from the thought to the obtaining, with no chance to have a second thought before indulging in the their darling sin.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
yinkadlb8
Having a glimpse of a sunny day.
03:49 PM on 05/21/2012
The value of words either spoken or sent through the social networks cannot be underestimated. Words carry spiritual forces that can either heal or destroy depending on the intentions of the speaker or sender. Therefore, words with negative intentions or color can increase the magnitude of ripples or waves of destructive tendencies if not curbed in time. We need to always evaluate messages sent on social networks which will rather enrich our thought process for subsequent qualitative life other than cause a devaluation to our personal worth when we engage in messages of depression or hate.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
VinZenTexaN
Without God, life is everything.
02:20 PM on 05/21/2012
Facebook, Netiquette and the Bible. I don't like Facebook or fiction books !

Thank you and welcome to reason . . . Please tell your friends to read the bible ASAP because we need more atheists.

The Commandments Moses forgot:1)Thou shalt not rape 2)Thou shalt not keep slaves 3)Thou shalt not have sex with children 4)Thou shalt not kill anyone for their religious beliefs. And...5)Thou shalt not profit from the beliefs of others...
08:01 PM on 05/21/2012
www.tektonics.org
www.godandscience.org
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
VinZenTexaN
Without God, life is everything.
10:06 PM on 05/21/2012
http://www.godisimaginary.com

http://www.evilbible.com

"There is no inherent Bible...there is no true church..there is no corner on the market of salvation..there is no faith once delivered to the saints..Those are all human attempts to minister to the human security needs to believe that we possess the truth." Bishop John Shelby Spong

I say, unless they can PROVE the veracity of their religions with objective, repeatable, scientific evidence as proof for their assertions; tax them for the being nothing more than the PACs-in-disguise they really are.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Enid
01:26 PM on 05/20/2012
Social is just that social in public anything can happen and be photographed talked about or more.
Bible tramper's have had 'Their quiet rooms to long to plot against the rest of the world.
Christians are the Hippocrates yet they want respect and all thing about them.
Tired of religious running everything and politicization falling all over them selves for religion.
They have no religion its just their ego's.they worship.

Presidential debates should also have lie detectors hooked up to the debaters.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
05:31 AM on 05/21/2012
It would be enough if we just had the media report on what really matters and what actually is going on, rather than what they can profit from and what their heavily vested corporate owners will allow them to do.

It's easy to know that the politicians are liars, and even murderers, by their actions. But they rarely get called out on it.
08:12 PM on 05/21/2012
You think Christians just sit around all day plotting against the world? Where you get that crazy idea from?

Far as hypocrites, yes there are some Christians who are hypocrites. However, there are hypocrites all over.

Atheists who tell Christians we have blind faith and don't think for ourselves nor question our beliefs nor what preachers tell us....but yet don't think for themselves nor question what fellow Atheists (Dawkins) tell them but believe whatever they are told blindly....are themselves being hypocrites.
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SonOfUgh
Your micro-bio is empty
03:22 PM on 05/23/2012
You are correct. There are hypocrites on all sides. It would seem that hypocrisy is an unfortunate part of the human condition.

Engaging on that point, I find that, percentage wise, there are significantly fewer atheists who blindly believe people like Dawkins than there are Christians who blindly believe what their preachers tell them or what a book of stories from almost two thousand years ago tells them.

Most atheists I know or have talked to will use arguments from Dawkins (and others) NOT because they are blindly parroting them but because many of the arguments put forth by Dawkins make logical sense. Personally, I read Dawkins with a critical mind and took from his words what I found rational and reasonable.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Scott Allie
Starving Philosopher
12:48 PM on 05/20/2012
Good article; Truth is some times difficult to take. Delivery of truth can be a painless act if everyone is able to listen to the facts without prejudices.
Unfortunately humans are somewhat self centered and unable to change their opinion when confronted with new information. I am of the opinion that this is pride standing in the way. No one wants their reality disturbed, or to be told they are wrong. So we just maintain our old ideas without questioning them.
This article points out one of the few positive examples found in religious literature that are of great value to all.
I like to say; "Political correctness offends me because it impinges on my right to free speech."
But I must concede to the fact that it is a bad idea to maliciously attack someone just because they disagree with us.
I would say that reason and thoughtfulness should lead our words always. Regardless of our personal beliefs.
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05:44 AM on 05/20/2012
If at least the Bible had included a chapter on the Internet, its relation to an entity of divine knowledge would've been a tiny bit more convincing.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
nogods
07:58 PM on 05/19/2012
Everyone has a right to express his beliefs. No one has a right to unchallenged beliefs
05:55 AM on 05/19/2012
It was refreshing to see Calvin among his examples - not a person held very high in esteem on this board, based on my regular reading of posts in the religion section.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JeffWayne
07:27 PM on 05/18/2012
Whoever curses his God shall bear his sin. Whoever blasphemes the name of the LORD shall surely be put to death. All the congregation shall stone him. The sojourner as well as the native, when he blasphemes the Name, shall be put to death.

If your brother, the son of your mother, or your son or your daughter or the wife you embrace or your friend who is as your own soul entices you secretly, saying, “Let us go and serve other gods,” . . . you shall not yield to him or listen to him, nor shall your eye pity him, nor shall you spare him, nor shall you conceal him. But you shall kill him.

Hmmmmm......... Maybe NOT!!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Scott Allie
Starving Philosopher
12:52 PM on 05/20/2012
This is one of the many examples of how religious literature is impacting humanity in a very negative way. Yet an other reason religion must die in order for man to survive.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Samuel L. Adams
02:37 PM on 05/18/2012
Another article could be written on the appropriateness of proselytizing, judging others for their religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and over-zealous religious posts on social media sites. That was not the topic of this article, but maybe that could be a future post.
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SonOfUgh
Your micro-bio is empty
03:44 PM on 05/23/2012
Plenty of room for that article. Alas, I believe it would have little effect. Over-zealous religious posts would still pass judgment on "infidels" like myself and said "infidels" would make fractious responses assailing the overly-zealous.

What you write is, IMHO, only part of the problem. As you suggest, we can quickly post our "thoughts" (I use that loosely) online, regardless of "thought" quality.

As you suggest, It's easier to express negative opinions when we do not see the others' faces. It seems we struggle to feel empathy (or we easily discard empathy) for others in a conversation of just words without body language and tone of voice. Until the anvil of years and generations have forged in mankind an ability to be empathic across the cold, desolate wasteland of these Interwebtube things, I fear we will have this kind of discourse.

Furthermore, expressing harsh, non-empathic statements online is often positively reinforced because there is always somebody out there who signifies their agreement with us through a follow on post, the barely considered pressing of a "like" button, or the offering of (a vacuous and unworthy of the word) friendship.

If such discourse continues unabated (and I believe it will), human society will become increasingly fractured. These fractures are evident in political debates around the globe, in the religious debates on sites like this, etc.
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Craig 212
Tide goes in, tide goes out.
11:14 PM on 05/24/2012
Good points.

There's also the people who post pictures/stories of sick kids with the inane suggestion that if it gets enough likes, God will heal the child. I'm not sure what category that would fall into.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
GhostOfFDR
Your micro-bio is too brilliant to be approved
12:46 AM on 05/18/2012
Stop thinking with your Bible and think with your brain. If it matters to you that people are going to defriend you because you spam them with Christian BS, then don't spam them with Christian BS. If it doesn't matter, go right ahead.

Facebook is a popularity contest. That doesn't mean your life has to be.
09:10 PM on 05/21/2012
Why assume those who believe in the Bible don't think with our brains? People say the Bible isn't scientific, is false, is BS as you say, etc. but those people believe that way cause others said such and such were the case. Sadly, they never stopped to question and see if such claims were really true.

I have heard, for example, that the God in the Old Testament was this cruel, mean, impatient, monster God. I just believed it as true. Why? Cause that is what everyone else said. So when I read the Bible at first when I saw the offending Scriptures, I would conclude that Yes, God must be as horrible as these people say. I mean just look at the stuff written in there!

Then I remembered there is always two sides (if not more) to every story. I didn't think it was fair to not give God His chance to tell His side of the story. So I read the Bible again and when I came across passages that offended me, I would look into them and do research. Many of the passages that used to offend me no longer do cause now I can understand better.
09:11 PM on 05/21/2012
For the passages now I do not understand or have a hard time with, I do research on them to better understand.

That is the whole point...a person cannot just read a Scripture or a passage that offends him or her and then just stop there. You need to go a step above and beyond and think.

Sadly when Atheists read the Bible, they seem to lose the ability to think.

Some Atheists may think the Bible teaches Christians to not think....Well, find one verse in the Bible that teaches that...good luck.

http://www.godandscience.org/apologetics/reason.html

http://www.atheismsfallacies.com/
07:39 PM on 05/17/2012
The religious things that most bug me on Facebook are the memes/jpgs that are prayers asking for them to be shared to make them come true. I guess because god up on his cloud watching and waiting for you to "like" the post...Come to think of it, social media really demonstrates the wackiness of religion pretty clearly to anyone that takes the time to think. The problem is that many don't.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
nadohawk
Let's bring love back to liberalism
02:11 AM on 05/18/2012
Never noticed any of that though one did ask for prayer for a relative...what I see instead is the secular examples of that though and I often ignore it.
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Enid
01:32 PM on 05/20/2012
Oh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.