It may have been that awkward moment you shared with your mom checking out at the Macy's register to purchase your first bra, or perhaps the hours spent chatting with your best friend as you poured over the details of a first date waiting for him to call, or the moment you picked up the phone to tell your sister you'd finally met the one ... or maybe it was at all of these moments combined that you realized there is a bond that women share that just can't be broken.
Every woman who's liked a boy, been in love, or had her heart broken knows that it always helps to know that other women have "been there, done that" -- and even when the situations are different, you can always find some common ground. In honor of National Proposal Day Tuesday (yes, it is an actual holiday!), I've done just that: I reached out to thousands of our Tailored brides to see what common ground their proposals share. What I found out may surprise you.
From the first thought that crossed their minds when their fiancés popped the question to who they called to share the news to why they decided to get married in the first place, women, it turns out, have not only "been there and done that," they've shared a lot of the same feelings along the way.
Here is what brides across America shared with us about their proposal. After you check out these stats, leave a comment and share with us how your own proposal stacks up.
When we asked women, what was the first thing to cross their mind as soon as he popped the question...
- 26 percent of women said "WOW! This ring is stunning."
- 23 percent said "I can't wait to tell everyone!"
- 14 percent said "I am in shock ... he took me by complete surprise!"
- 13 percent of women said "It's about time he asked me to marry him!"
- 9 percent said "Shoot, I wish I were wearing a different outfit or at least had thrown on some makeup!"
- 9 percent said "I wish I had gotten a manicure! I can't take a pic of a ring with these nails!"
- 6 percent said "EEEK! I don't know if I like this ring!"
Did you know that nearly one out of every four guys is opting not to get down on one knee to propose?
- 78 percent of women said their fiancé got down on one knee to propose
- 22 percent of women said their guy did NOT get down on one knee.
When it comes to the number of times they have been engaged:
- 82 percent of women said this is their first time
- 9 percent have been engaged before but broke off the engagement
- 5 percent have been proposed to before but said "no"
- 4 percent have been married at least once before
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Women are dating for longer before getting engaged. The majority of brides-to-be (27 percent) were dating their significant other between three and five years before getting engaged. The next biggest group of brides (22 percent) were dating their significant other between one and two years before getting engaged.
The majority of women today (59 percent) say that they didn't have to pressure their guy to pop the question because they both talked about getting engaged equally. However, 21 percent of women said that they WERE a pressure cooker ... and that getting engaged was all they could talk about!
The majority of guys are still asking for permission to pop the question. Forty-five percent of women said their fiancé asked permission from both parents before proposing, a whopping 34 percent said he did NOT ask their dad or their mom, 13 percent said he asked their dad and did not tell their mom and 8 percent asked only their mom and not their dad.
Most women were surprised by their proposal.
- 65 percent of women said that the didn't see the proposal coming that day but they did know it was in the future plans because they talked about it often
- 18 percent of women said they were SHOCKED by their proposal and had no idea their man was thinking about popping the question
- 13 percent of women said they knew when he was going to propose but acted surprised anyway!
True love is still alive and well!
- 86 percent of women polled said that they wanted to walk down the aisle solely because they love their guy so much, they wanted to become his wife (finances, family, etc. were not their #1 reason for wanting to get hitched)!
- Starting a family was listed as the next most popular response, receiving 10 percent of the vote
- Only 4 percent of women polled said they were getting married because they felt like it was time and their clock was ticking
- Only 1 percent of women polled said that they were getting married because they were waiting to get married to have sex and wanted to be intimate with their partner
Whether they believe in soul mates or not, they are certain they said "yes" to the right guy!
- 65 percent of women polled say they are absolutely positive they are marrying their soul mate
- 34 percent of women say they are confident that they are marrying the right guy, but do not believe in soul mates
- 1 percent of women polled said they are not sure they are marrying the right guy
When it was time to share the news, moms got the first call, most of the time.
- 47 percent of women called their mom first
- 27 percent of women called home and told both parents at once
- 22 percent waited and did not call anyone at first because they wanted some time to enjoy the proposal privately
- 1 percent called their sister first
- 1 percent called their dad first
- 1 percent called their fiancé's family first
- 1 percent called their best friend first
Most guys are at least a little nervous when it comes time to seal the deal.
- 54 percent said their fiancé seemed a little nervous but nothing too noticeable
- 36 percent said their fiancé was shaking like a leaf he was so nervous
- 10 percent said he was as cool as a cucumber
No need to bring tissues. Almost half of proposals are tear-free!
- 42 percent said that there were no tears -- neither party cried
- 31 percent of women said they cried but their fiancé did not
- 17 percent said that both they and their fiancé were crying
- 10 percent said that their man cried but they did not
When it comes to celebrating, a table for two was the way to go.
- 28 percent said they went out to a nice dinner just the two of them
- 26 percent said they were already on vacation when he proposed
- 19 percent said they spent a romantic night at home, just the two of them
- 14 percent went out to dinner with family
- 10 percent said they went out celebrating with friends
Men are keeping things private ... most proposals happen with no one else around to witness!
- 69 percent of women said their man proposed to them in private, with no one else around
- 26 percent of women said there were LOTS of strangers around because he proposed in a very public place
- 9 percent said he popped the question around a group of close friends or family
Good work, men. Most women are VERY happy with the way their guy chose to pop the question!
- 50 percent of brides would give their men a "10" on the proposal
- 14 percent would give their proposal a "9" on a scale of 1 to 10
- 12 percent would give their proposal an "8"
- The other numbers below 8 are pretty evenly divided with about 1 or 1 percent each (ouch ... 2 percent of women would give their proposal a "1").
How long are brides waiting to announce their proposal on Facebook?
- 85 percent of women waited to share the news on Facebook until they had told their close family and friends first
- 10 percent said they posted their engagement on FB as soon as he popped the question
- 5 percent said their friends have posted things but they still haven't changed their status to "engaged"
Totally surprised... we had just bought a home together; I didn’t think there was any money left and that the ring wouldn’t be for a year or two. We were in a quiet location by the water & he asked a total stranger to take a picture of us, then he got down on one knee. The guy got the BEST pictures of us. Called my mom first, then small dinner for two. Married 5 months later.
If any man had ever done some big showy thing (like on the Jumbotron at the stadium), it would have resulted in an automatic No.
The 15 seconds she sat there holding the thing were excruciating. It had never occurred to me she would look at the small hat box as an engagement ring box until that moment. Her look of horrified panic, anguish and pissedoffedness was a look I'll never forget. It said "Oh crap he got me a @$&*#$@ ring". Anyway I lightheartedly said "look at them they're cool" and she verrrrry reluctantly opened the box. When she saw the earrings she was overjoyed to say the least. She was clearly relieved more than anything and gushed over them a bit too much. I couldn't get out of there fast enough and I still chuckle when over that all too expressive look of horror years later.
Eight years ago, my husband called me from the kitchen (where I was cooking at the time) into the living room. He got down on one knee, presented me with the engagement ring and "popped" the question. I said yes, thinking the three years prior to his proposal that it was what I wanted, but have regretted it on numerous occasions since! He is not physically abusive, but at 62 years of age this April, he is extremely immature. Although he denies it, old-school friends in the neighborhood he grew up with come first. And, his occasional drinking does not help matters. I am 53 years old and, for the most part, miserable in my marriage to him! He will never wise-up or change - even for the betterment of his health. At times I think he is getting worse! There are several reasons why I have stuck with him thus far (and money is certainly not one of them as we have little), and if he ever needs me in a way that won't cause me mental duress/stress, I'll be there for him. But, as another poster stated a month ago on a similar topic, after a while, you just get tired. And, I deserve more out of what life I have left.
Thanks for your rely, and this I know 'cause life is too short to spend it miserably! I can't afford to, now, but Lord Willing (strange to say that 'cause I was raised Catholic and did not believe in divorce), once I'm back to work and can save up for a little place, I will. Because of my religious upbringing, I didn't believe in divorce. At 53 years of age, after living a little, I now believe that God would NOT WANT me to be miserable in a marriage where my husband was not even willing to try (but have all the time/compassion/interest in the world for his friends).