Living an authentic life is a dream for many, yet for some women it is their reality. Have you ever looked at those living life differently and wondered how they achieved it?
Sharon Thompson is one of these women. A photographer by trade, she has also made a name for herself as a sensitive and talented stillbirth photographer. In addition to this, she volunteers at an orphanage in Vietnam. Sharon runs a business, The Bloom Effect, to help fund her volunteering efforts. She sells bright and beautiful vintage-style dresses, bringing color into the life of her customers just as she brings color into the life of the children she cares for in Vietnam.
I sat down with her to talk about her journey, and how making radical changes have affected her life.
What prompted you to make changes in your life?
Five years ago, I sat down and wrote a list of things I would like to achieve in life. I had been working for a telecommunications company for 13 years and just could not sit behind a desk any longer! I had a vision of not only the life I wanted to live, but also a way of living. I knew I wanted to live a creative life. I knew I wanted to give back and I wanted an authentic life. I wanted to be brave! I craved an existence that I could be proud of and that would make me leap out of bed in the morning. I aimed high when I wrote the list, not for a moment believing that 5 years down the track I would be not only doing what I love, but also that my son would living his dream too.
As a young, single mum, that's all we want, for our kids to find their place in the world, but I think we both found our place in the world at the same time. After all, I think we both grew up together. I gave birth to my son at 18. It was a hard road. Being eighteen is hard enough, but raising a child on your own brings a whole new level of challenge. To say I was a hot mess those first twelve months is an understatement. I suffered from postnatal depression, but looking back at my younger self, I think I just felt overwhelmed at being so young. I was so unsure of myself and I was suddenly responsible for someone else. I did it though. I made it; he survived and I survived. I am about to turn 40 in a few weeks and I am in an amazing place in my life After all, I had all those years at home with my son, to make a mental list of all the things I wanted to do when I 'grew up'.
Tell me about the work you do.
I am a family documentary photographer in Christchurch, New Zealand. I photograph the gladness, the sadness, and the madness of life. I am an observer and I adore showing families the beauty that is them. I in a way an archive their daily moments. I archive of memories and moments.
In 2011, I watched a documentary called "5 Hours with Raja" and I was really touched by their story. I decided that I could use my craft to make a difference, so I became a stillbirth photographer. There is more to stillbirth photography than photograph.
Can you tell me about your work as a stillbirth photographer?
We, as photographers, are there to walk with the family for a moment in time, in a gentle and respectful way. We walk into a hospital room that is filled with grief, despair, family, and their precious baby. I see my role as a facilitator as well; I want to encourage families to explore the tiny features of their baby, to get them talking about their baby's beautiful features. Sometimes this lovely newborn ritual is overlooked. I don't think it should be just because the baby has sadly passed away. I have had a few breathtaking moments in a session where the family hasn't noticed their baby's hair, a quirky little toe, or a folded ear. They have been so frozen in their grief that they simply forgot to look. To hear gasps of joy at discovered curly hair is just so precious.
Those parents would have spent months wondering about their unique little human and now their wee person is here. It's about honoring that their baby is here. Stillbirth photography is gentle and powerful. Everybody has a phone with a camera, but not everyone has the ability to create a beautiful portrait that tells a story, that oozes love and tenderness in a sensitive way.
You also volunteer at an orphanage in Vietnam. What inspired you to do so?
In 2011 it was as though the universe was putting a mirror up to my face. It was saying, "What are you doing with your life?" I had spent too long in a relationship that had really affected my self-esteem. The Christchurch earthquake challenged my concept of what is normal on a day to day basis. We all lived in survival mode and I think a lot of people in Christchurch questioned their existence. During the first few nights after the 7.4 earthquake I hardly slept. My son was 14 at the time and he was very scared. He could only fall asleep if he knew I was awake to keep him safe. But I didn't sleep. I stayed awake, listening to the radio. People were calling in and talking about how scared they were, too. In those first few nights, I went deep inside myself and asked myself what I wanted to do and why I wasn't doing it.
I had always wanted to volunteer in an orphanage. I wanted to give time and a sense of connection to children who would not usually receive it on a daily basis. I had worked with disabled children since I was 12, so I was very comfortable with the challenges involved. Little did I know, was that I would combine my desire and my experience together and work with terminally ill children in Ho Chi Minh City. I knew that there were organizations that seem to cause more harm than good, that you needed to pay a lot of money and that children were exploited by their caregivers, so I went looking for an organization that was different. I stumbled across the Vietnam Volunteer Network. It was a professional organization that ran police checks and protected the children from harm.
If someone is interested in volunteering, what should they consider?
There are so many orphanages and sometimes volunteers can do more harm than good. It's really important for children to be able to establish a connection with people, so staying for a minimum of 3 weeks, instead of a few days, is better for their wellbeing and development. The orphanages in Vietnam have children that are suffering from the terrible effects of Agent Orange, disabilities due to a difficult birth, as well as healthy children that are abandoned by their parents. As Vietnam is a third world country, I can understand why a family might give up a child. It's hard enough to make a living as it is, let alone with another mouth to feed. Most orphanages are government-run, so the children are provided with simply the necessities. I see my role as providing the extra bits that will make their lives a little better: a song, a touch, massage, dance, story, or simply a connection.
Do your research and commit to a month of your time. Expect to be challenged and to have your life changed.
What are your goals for the future?
I would love to set up a center in Ho Chi Minh City for children leaving the orphanage. At this stage a child can only stay in the system until they are 16, or until the maximum of 18. I would love to set up a transitional facility that would gently support these children into the world. I would like to have a second hand shop attached to the center to create revenue to support the running costs. There are a lot of expats in the city, but no second hand shops. Surely this could be set up by initial donations from expats so that locals and tourists could purchase clothing at minimal cost. I would like to involve local businesses as well, in the form of onsite training to gain skills. A huge consideration would be the psychological impact on the children too. Many of these children will have only been out into the world a handful of times.
What have you learned through the work that you do?
I think it has made me realize that it really is important to have a belief system. I simply believe in kindness and goodness. I don't stress the small things, the spills on the carpet, or busy traffic jams. Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and support you is also so important. People that bring out the best in you, because life is too short to have toxic relationships.
I have learned that it is important to look after yourself and others. We all have a story to tell. That the man next to you in the café may have suffered a loss, we simply cannot judge anyone.
Happiness now for me means having the freedom to give back, to take time to live with intention, to travel, to eat well, to look after my body, to spend time with good friends, enjoy dinners with my son, and take bike rides with my pug.
It's the simple things that make me happy.
To find out more, visit www.bloomeffect.co.nz
Sarah Bell is a writer based in Seoul.
To contact her, visit www.themscript.com