Okay, I am an astrology nut. I'm not inclined to apologize for it. I could give a lofty explanation: as a writer, I enjoy the point of view, parsing human existence from a mythological perspective, the vantage of the gods: Mercury, Venus, Mars, etc. But the more usual reason has to do with panic and impatience: Will I get the job? No?! Will I ever get another job? How long do I have to wait until my daughter gets nicer to me? And back in the days of courtship, of course, I ran to more than seven different psychics and astrologers, polling them on whether I would wind up married to the bastard. (I did, and he's not.)
The 2004 election was expected to be so close that the foremost newspaper soothsayers were very nervous in their predictions; most of them got very vague, knowing that their astrological asses were on the line. I trawled the web after Bush won, curious to count up how many of the ball-gazers were wrong or right. Most thought Kerry had the edge -- and, if you take into account the dubious Ohio elections, you could make the argument they were right, he won and was robbed. But what really struck me was that eastern astrologers using the Hindu zodiac, which has a different methodology, predicted a Bush win.
And then I happened on a horoscope for Bush that was posted only a week after the election, November 11, 2004. I was so startled by it that I bookmarked it, and have saved it ever since, now and then returning to read it until I almost know it by heart. I'm not going to reproduce it in its entirety here, but here, to get it over with, is the link: http://educate-yourself.org/cn/gwbhoroscope11nov04.shtml
It starts off with the kind of observation that any liberal could make: "Not a true ruler...rather a puppet being forced to perform." Bush is "heartless" (check), "extremely narrow-minded and dogmatic" (check); "ruthless and operates invisibly sometimes " (check). And then there was skeptical-eyebrow-raising stuff about his past lives, and then some fun salacious bits like "He is an alcoholic - it is next to impossible to remain sober for a long time with this constellation...Those who control him hand the stuff out to him time to time." And then it winds up with a very satisfying statement: "Bush will probably live long enough to see everything he fought (and lied) for crumble to dust."
Something made me want to keep the article to see if the predictions for the remainder of his presidency would come true. Because some of them were doozies, or seemed so at the time. Then, as the years went on, they started to come true. For example, "When Jupiter enters Scorpio (late October, 2006) his enemies will have a field day." (The Democrats gain back the House and Senate.) "His handlers will abandon him and it will be open season on Bush." (Bye bye Libby, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Bartlett, and maybe Gonzales. So far.)
This may all make you smile, but wait, it's not over: "In 2007-2008, when Saturn and Ketu pass Bush's natal Mars, economic and personal collapse cannot be forestalled any longer -- for himself and the country he leads." Suddenly I wish I didn't believe in astrology.
The most remarkable thing about this horoscope is that it makes no bones about how dangerous W. is. I tended to discount this part, because it seemed to me that it was his handlers, not the puppet-king, who were dangerous. But now we know better. It is the man himself who, even if deserted by every advisor he trusts, and there aren't many left, he will bull ahead to a future of destruction, and this is what we're seeing right now. I leave you with this uplifting prediction - remember, this thing was posted in 2004! - which still keeps me awake at night: "He will not stop when wars or attacks are hopeless...The wars he brings about can cause the very dissolution of the country." So build the bunkers, and stockpile Xanax.