Recent updates from the Facebook profile page of Dan Brown, author of The Lost Symbol:
Dan Brown Hey, did you hear? I have a new book. And I don't get why people give me a hard time about taking 6 years to write it.
Dan Brown updated his Education Info in his Profile. He now has nine more honorary degrees.
Joyce Carol Oates: Heh.
James Patterson: Pfffft. Hee hee.
Nora Roberts: LMAO
Dan Brown just discovered an encrypted 17th-century cipher language in his friend's status update!
Dan Brown: Interesting, isn't it? The word "profile" comes from the Italian profilare (from the Latin filum), meaning "delineate" or "outline." But we think of it now as more "inside" than "outside" information.
Patricia Cornwell: Boo! Join my mob war.
Dan Brown: Ah, and "mafia," also from the Italian of course.
Patricia Cornwell: Quit it, Dan, or I'll "hide" you again.
Dan Brown is kicking butt at this farm game. I no longer play by your rules.
Danielle Steel: You mean this? ;) I said "Happy Friday! ;)" with a wink-smile.
Joyce Carol Oates: ;) :( :-> :0
Dan Brown: There it is again!
Danielle Steel: Stop messing with him, Joyce.
Dan Brown thinks his status updates could have more impact.
Janet Maslin: Can you ease up with the italics?
Dan Brown: Not italics. My innermost thoughts.
Janet Maslin: They're not just your thoughts, Dan, we can see the italics in your comment.
Dan Brown: Right. If you only knew what I'm capable of.
Dan Brown wants to know what's wrong with the phrase "inky blackness." I'm dog-tired of being accused of trotting out clichéd terms.
Dan Brown: If he separated his thoughts.
Dan Brown: In intriguing separate lines.
Stephen King: Maybe it's not the phrase, but its frequency. Can't you find some other way to describe darkness?
Dan Brown: Dark as...night? No. Some nights are lighter than others. Especially if you're near a sort of hidden laboratory substation or ancient glowing orb.
Stephen King: Well, I suppose you could just say "darkness" now and then.
Dan Brown: Ink! Darkness is like black ink. Inky blackness! That's good. Good as gold. I think that's crystal clear as day. As a bell.
Stephen King: Um.
Dan Brown: Inky blackness! I'm going to write that one down.
Dan Brown is hanging bat-like from gravity boots a la American Gigolo for inspiration.Dan Brown knew he'd have the most thriving farm of anyone in farm city! Advantage, me.
Dan Brown is in DC, visiting an enduring tribute to the ancients, an Egyptian obelisk. It rises more than thirty stories into the sky, proclaiming honor to the demigod for whom the capital city takes its name. Washington.
Janet Maslin: Again, Dan. Italics. We can see them.
Dan Brown: Of course. Little do you know the real game has just begun.
Nora Roberts: How do you even use italics on Facebook?
Dan Brown: I'll never tell! The secret will be revealed. No, it won't! The story of the ages will be clear. Crystal clear. Never!
Janet Maslin: * Sigh *
Dan Brown can't wait to see the next adaptation.
Dan Brown: Get it? It's the Washington Monument!
Stephen King: Yes, Dan, we get it.
Dan Brown: Because not everyone realizes it's an obelisk.
Stephen King: Yes, Dan, they do.
Tom Hanks: That reminds me, I've been working on making my "eyes flash with curiosity." But I'm wondering, I'm Robert Langdon and I've got, what, two hours to save my friend's life and I'm taking time to note the carvings in a stairway banister and quiz someone on the symbolism of a Dürer print?
Dan Brown: Mysteries abound!
Patricia Cornwell: !
Joyce Carol Oates: ;)
Dan Brown: Aha!
Danielle Steel: Okay, he deserves that now.
Dan Brown Hey, did you hear? I have a new book.
Follow Sarah Schmelling on Twitter: www.twitter.com/sschmelling