Right after I saw Anne Hathaway and Robert DiNero in Nancy Meyer's newest film, The Intern, I noticed that the negativity against Hathaway burst out once again. Perhaps you have either missed or ignored the criticisms and yes, hatred and distain that have plagued Hathaway for years with headlines such as "Joan Rivers Explains the Hatred of Hathaway Better than Anybody" and "Why Do People Hate Anne Hathaway (But Love Jennifer Lawrence)?" If so, lucky you! Perhaps you can keep it that way. I have tried.
To quote BuzzFeed news features writer, Anne Helen Petersen, who openly discusses the Hathaway "repulsion" factor in her recent Huffington Post featured blog, "Anne Hathaway Can't Win": "When you work hard, when your hard work is rewarded, when your body and beauty match societal standards, when you check every box, and still everyone tells you you're doing it wrong, that's Anne Hathaway Syndrome."
The evening after seeing The Intern, which has had mixed reviews, but is truly an excellent film (more about that later), criticism about the female star was once again front and center. My tummy turned this time to such an extent that my head refused to continue to ignore Hathaway's mean spirited treatment. With this in mind, I want to talk about my strong belief that this reaction says far more about those who delight in ripping her apart than it does about the star.
To stay with me in this evaluation, it is important to have an understanding of the concepts of jealousy and envy. Most see them as interchangeable psychological concepts, but they are different. We are envious of what someone has achieved in terms of recognition, accomplishment, and power; and we are jealous of another's personal, fulfilling relationships. Sometimes, envy and jealousy can lessen due to suffering. As an example, the envy toward Hillary Clinton due to her husband's open recognition of their "two for one" shared power (which included matched initialed briefcases) and the jealousy of all they seemed to share as a couple, was greatly tempered when the Monica Lewinsky reality imploded. A serious argument can be made that Hillary could not have become a senator or a serious presidential contender without the obvious pain she so publicly suffered, pain that, at the time, helped remove some of the envy and jealousy directed toward her marriage and her hard won accomplishments.
The criticism of Hathaway's looks and personality do not merit repetition. However, here is why they have reached such intensity. Anne Hathaway works very, very hard and achieves. Most of us do not work as hard, and even if we did, we could never achieve the power and success that her unusual, fortunate combination of talents brings her. Plus, she was able to break ties with trouble when she ended her relationship with wealthy Italian real estate developer, Raffaello Follieri, who turned out to be one hellova manipulator and was sentenced to four and a half years in prison. Soon after, Hathaway married Adam Shulman, who comes across as the very nice, low-keyed guy portrayed as her husband in The Intern. Again, most of us never have the experience of being swept off our feet by an extremely wealthy and charming European (even though he turned out to be a scumbag); plus many of us have enormous difficulty leaving troubled and depleting relationships. Add to that -- falling for a nice guy who loves you back: well, quite a lucky circumstance, wouldn't you agree?
Another trait of Hathaway is that, if asked, she says how she really feels in a way that appears (and I believe is) genuine and uncontrived. Rather than lie and say she has ignored the ugly personal reaction to her, she has said it has been hurtful. Most do not face their own yearning for love and respect, or how they have been hurt when they have reached out to be recognized, but have been rejected. It is far easier to ridicule another who is open than to look at one's own life. Plus, those in the real world know that to succeed it is usually necessary to mask feelings. This is because sadly, to share feelings openly often means others will see you as weak, vulnerable, and easy to defeat; and, in competitive situations, to appear vulnerable can easily bring out a mean streak in others.
Why is the gifted and acclaimed actor, Jennifer Lawrence, not degraded and ridiculed? Lawrence is really, really savvy. She knows how to cleverly use awkward moments as vehicles for spell-binding support. She wants you to know that she is perspiring all over and really wet under her arms. Millions watch as she trips on stairs of the stars as well as exiting a limo. Her spontaneous, care-free cover masks how skillfully she mutes jealous and envious reactions, replacing them with, "Wow, this gal actually lives my fears. She's one tough cookie. I would love to have a beer with her."
Plus, Lawrence is in an on again, off again relationship with Chris Martin, who still has strong ties to his "conscious uncoupling" partner, Gwyneth Paltrow, and wants to spend a great deal of family time with her and their kids. Women can surely identify with a gal who is involved with a guy who seems glued to a former partner. Of course, in the likability department, Paltrow has had her own problems (but for far different reasons than Hathaway), a plus for Lawrence.
To paraphrase Anne Helen Petersen in her exploration of the Hathaway Syndrome: Those feelings say more about our 'inner complexities' and 'hypocrisies' than they do about the celebrities we target. She concludes with wise reflection and counsel for us all: " I still find myself resisting Anne Hathaway. But I'm also spending a lot of time thinking about why I feel that way."
Oh, and why is The Intern a really good film? The acting of all is extraordinary, but beyond that, the film shows that the generations need each other, and that as much as our technological advances have brought us, without patience, reflection, compassion, and connection, technology is merely man's latest isolation booth.