Perhaps I should have anticipated it: Since Donald Trump's candidacy so many have been reacting to his actions and antics as they discuss their own marital challenges that I believe it vital to introduce a new syndrome named after The Donald.
However, the following may surprise you. Although reaction to the man as candidate may be mixed, The Donald Trump Syndrome is so positive and hopeful that a shout-out is in order. Yes, attention should be paid! Since seeing his candidacy up close, couple after couple are appreciating each other anew and saying goodbye to me.
Admittedly, the following is anecdotal and not evidence based. Yet, with the hope of further study, it is my pleasure to delineate five distinct categories of both men and women ripe with new found romance and bursting with gratitude.
1. AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS GROSS
Just today in my office (I kid you not!) Larry, a 35 year old lawyer, told his wife, Lois, also a 35 year old lawyer, that he now deeply valued her reactions to his habits that she thought were gross, such as belching and not saying excuse me. "Look honey," Larry told Lois, "as much as you sometimes have driven me crazy for fifteen years and will no doubt continue to when you call me on stuff that I think is nothing, my body sometimes does stuff that is worse than belching. But when I have not said "excuse me," you have never called me a pig. Lois's reaction was a big hug and a passionate kiss, and no more appointments with me were scheduled.
2. AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS CONTROLLING
Cindy, who is newly married at age 18, has decided that her hubby is not controlling, but just "a doll." "Sure Stuart likes the movies he likes and not the ones I like," she told me, "but even though our tastes are different, he sometimes will bend a little." Cindy continued: "Looking at DT (her term for The Donald) I have nothing to complain about. Even though my Stuart hates classical music, I can select any concert, and he joins me happily." She concluded, "Stuart does not have a vindictive bone in his body. He would never 'fire' me or plot to have me discarded like trash. I'm a lucky gal!" And with this observation, our work ended.
3. AND YOU THOUGHT I HAD A BAD TEMPER
Tara and Sid, who had been married for three years and were both in a doctoral program in psychology in a local college, argued a lot, but since seeing DT (to borrow Cindy's name choice) they now view their differences as "a democracy" and wisely assess that "democracies can be stormy." "We talk out real stuff," said Tara, "and no matter how angry I have gotten, Sid has never accused me of having blood coming out of my eyes or other places." "Demeaning others as well as refusing to talk about issues as Trump does is sickening, silent fury," responded Sid (impressing his wife mightily with his insights). "I can just imagine his angry fits at home without TV cameras to tone him down somewhat," he concluded -- also concluding our work. As Tara and Sid left my office, I heard them deciding to have lunch at a hotel with room service.
4. AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS CHILDISH
Dave and Diane, who consulted me because after forty years together they felt bored, describe "the smirk" and "the sarcastic smile" of The Donald as "definitive indication" (Diane's words) of their good fortune. "We do not give each other those kinds of looks," Dave said. "They are chilling," responded Diane, completing her guy's sentence. She continued, "Trump needs a rattle to play with!" This time her husband completed Diane's thoughts: "And a bottle to pacify him." "Boring can be good," Dave concluded, "and with appreciation of each other's natures, it evaporates." As did this couple's desire for further sessions with me.
5. AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS INATTENTIVE
"Look, honey" Gus told Amelia (his wife of 40 years) on her 60th birthday, placing his hand on his cap. "I hear you and I will be more attentive from now on." Gus then took off his cap to reveal one of his birthday presents to his wife. "You told me combing my hair to cover my bald spot was ridiculous, and I listened." Marital work completed.
ROMANTIC SUMMATION
Summing it up in time for Valentine's Day: No one has a clue about Donald Trump's political future, but I believe it important to offer examples that just seeing him on the tube is introducing fresh marital romance and appreciation. In fact, the realization of how fortunate one is in an intimate personal relationship may be a large part of Donald Trump's viewership appeal. No doubt his valuable work in this direction will continue.