THE BLOG
12/26/2013 02:41 pm ET Updated Feb 25, 2014

Performance Reviews and Keeping Your Self Worth

It's performance appraisal time in the workplace. Don't you just love being judged on what you've accomplished? Ah, yeah, not so much.

Truth be told, as an HR professional, I used to dread and really dislike the entire process: self-appraisal, performance review with my boss, how I was measuring up to my boss' expectations, and receiving constructive feedback.

As a recovering perfectionist, I definitely get it. I wanted to be a super star in every aspect of my life, which isn't possible. I wanted to achieve "exceeds expectations" rating basically on every objective, while demonstrating the values and behaviors. I was making myself crazy and causing unnecessary stress for myself.

Performance review process would almost always leave me thinking, "Was I good enough in my role and for this organization?"

I had confused the performance review rating with the academic grading approach. Later to realize, it's not the same at all.

Early on in my HR role, my career self-confidence was low. I didn't like ambiguous situations or not having control over certain outcomes. I felt I couldn't control everything or keep up. Young in my career, I didn't know how to take charge or necessarily know how to deal with challenging situations or people. It was a struggle, until I discovered a different approach to take in the workplace.

Hope sharing what I figured out helps you better understand what performance reviews is really about. What I want for you is to come from a perspective of embracing change, and realizing that your performance review doesn't define you as a person.

I learned to move away from this impossible standard of achieving the highest rating for everything.
I learned to strive and accept excellence over perfection.
I learned to accept lessons learned over trying to do my best at everything.
I learned to accept that some objectives would just end up with "achieves" rating in the end and that was okay.
I learned to balance my work and life better.
I learned that at the end of the day, what will matter most is not how I did on my performance reviews for my entire career history.
Rather, what will matter most will be how I'm making an impact in the workplace.
What will matter most is how I'm empowering others.
What will matter the most is what I choose to focus on, my perspective, my approach, my presence, and how I choose to live my life.

Funny how, when we learn to conquer and thrive beyond what we believe is holding us back, that's when we somehow get called to share our lessons with others.

So now in my HR business partner role, I share my lessons learned and insight gained with employees and management. I coach others how to thrive beyond what is holding them back in their life and in the workplace. Self-limiting beliefs have a way of coming up everywhere, even in the workplace; however, they don't have to get the best of us.

Know this.

You are not your performance appraisal.
You are a person before you are employee.
What your performance review simply means is how you did on your objectives, values and behaviors for that year.
It does not define you as a person. It is not your self worth!
Learn to step away and detach from this and not make it personal.
Learn to make it about self-awareness and being receptive to feedback.
Learn what your real contribution and impact is to the workplace and in life.
Live from this place of purpose and mission. Again, you are not your performance appraisal.

Thought Questions for Embracing Your C&R Self!
What's been your biggest challenge in the workplace? How have you overcome or approached this? Have any workplace questions that you would like for me to answer in an upcoming blog article?

Let me know about it either by commenting below or sending me an email through my contact page! Would love to hear from you and continue to guide you to Stepping into Your Greatness!

So be sure to share your thoughts below in the comments and/or on the C&R Self blog! If this article resonated with you, then like it, share it, and/or comment below.

Originally posted October 2013 on Courageous & Remarkable Self blog.

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For more by Sarina Tomel, click here.

Sarina is currently working on her first book, Courageous & Remarkable Self: Take Risks, Live More Intentionally, and Travel the World Fearlessly!