Weddings are all about the details, but unfortunately sometimes the most important of detail of all is overlooked.
When planning a wedding, it's not uncommon for couples to take great strides to make sure the font is exactly perfect on all the printed pieces, the flowers are the right shade of crème or the linens match the bridesmaids' dresses within a half a shade of teal. But the most important detail of all isn't something that you can photograph or touch, instead the most important detail is all about the guest experience -- how the guests are thought about during the planning, meeting the guests' wants, and celebrating the guests' importance to the couple. This is, at the core, the difference between a bride hearing that her wedding was "the BEST we have had ever been to" and "thanks for the invite, we had a good time."
I make a big deal about the guest experience to my couples getting married and sometimes they don't know WHY I keep driving home the fact that it may be too cold after dark and they need to rent heaters, or why I will go to bat for a tent canopy if it's just going to be a little too hot at the time of guest seating. I am actually looking out for the guests, their experience and in the long run the experience the bride and groom will have when they continually hear how wonderful their wedding was.
Here are some of my tips for creating the best guest experience:
1) Provide enough heat after dark for an outdoor wedding:
It's a beautiful 80-degree day, but after the sun goes down at 7 p.m. you still have guests dining outside under the stars. Make sure to have heaters in place for your guests' comfort at night.
2) Give your guests plenty of seating room at dinner:
Don't seat too many guest at a dinner table to save money on centerpieces or keep groups together. Guests like to spread out when they sit down for dinner and not sit shoulder to shoulder with somebody they don't know or may not even like. By keeping 60" round tables to no more than 8 guests and 72" round tables to no more than 10 you will ensure that everybody will have their own personal space and be able to cut into the filet you spent so much money on.
3) Pay for staff... period, end of story:
Not having enough staff to serve the food properly leads to a long wait time for the guests to get their dinner. Whether it's at a buffet, a bar or a seated dinner, there is a direct correlation to the amount of staff and the overall flow of your wedding and the happiness of your guests. Follow these guidelines to ensure the guests don't have to wait:
· Best ratio of guests/server for a sit down dinner is 1:10 - yes, that's ONE PER TABLE of 10. That server will not only serve but can also pour the wine at dinner for the guests. Dinner will be served lickety-split and you'll be onto your first dance.
· 1 bartender and 1 bar back at the bar for every 75 guests
· 1 double-sided buffet for every 100 guests. Have 150 guests? Go with 2 double-sided buffets - it's always better to have more than less.
4) Guests shouldn't pay for anything:
Guests should not pull out their wallet a single time during the wedding. This means they shouldn't pay for drinks, valet, tips at the bar or the like. If you can't afford to serve hard liquor, forego it. The guests will not miss what is not there and will move on to a glass of wine, a glass of beer or champagne. But they will notice if they're embarrassed because they don't have the amount of cash needed to tip the valet. Remember you should always treat your guests as you would if they were visiting you at home.
5) Event Flow:
A two and a half hour cocktail party with one station of dip, bread and sliced vegetables makes for a very unhappy guest. Make sure to move the guests at least once an hour and to keep the party going. They are there to spend time with you and to celebrate your wedding, not gnaw on a raw carrot stick while you and your new spouse take 500 pictures after the ceremony. Here are some tips to keep the party moving:
· Keep gaps between ceremony and cocktail reception to 1.5 hours or less
· Keep the drive between ceremony and reception to less than 1 hour
· Be cognizant that while you may not be hungry, your guest may be, so make sure to feed them on time
· Keep to your timeline as best you can and the best way to do that is to hire a very capable wedding planner who can help you stay on schedule
· Keep your toasts to a maximum of 15 minutes
A well cared for guest is a happy guest and you can be guaranteed that your guests will remember most how they were treated at your wedding. Treat them well and you will have a wedding that the guests will talk about for years to come.