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Saumya Arya Haas

Saumya Arya Haas

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A Hindu American's Thanksgiving

Posted: 11/24/10 07:44 PM ET

I have an immigrant's dream: a Better Homes and Gardens Thanksgiving dinner. One perfectly choreographed meal of American bounty and perfection. This photogenic fantasy meal represents something else: proof of my worth. Although I was born here, I used to feel I came up short on this most American of holidays. I am vegetarian. I am American, but there is no turkey on my table.

What I really want on Thanksgiving is to be accepted, embraced and appreciated: by my family, and more vaguely, by my country. Cooking my heart out may or may not be part of that.

It's ironic, since this is an immigrant's celebration. All I know about Thanksgiving is the primary-school, construction-paper-Pilgrim-hat and beneficent-Indian version. That's the other kind of Indian, a point which caused no end of confusion to my childhood. As with most things, I am woefully ignorant of the historical truth (if there even is a truth at all), so I've cobbled together my own present-day version -- a Hindu Thanksgiving. But I'm Hindu in an American way, so it's really a Hindu-American version, which of course, is really just American.

We create the community that we want to be accepted into. It is already there, before us, if we can just pause and let ourselves see it.

I grew up in a Hindu home that was open to any and everyone in our Northeast Minneapolis neighborhood-at-large. At Thanksgiving, my house today is as confusing, chaotic and lively as my childhood. But it's not "turkey day." Traditionally, we make lasagna. I'm not sure how that started. But it's perfect: an Italian dish, a Hindu cook, an American table.

I also make the whole, expected, shebang: mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, cranberry sauce, about four different kinds of pie and chai. My family would rebel if there was no chai.

My family experience of being Hindu is deeply rooted in inclusiveness, social equity and community service. Chai-party values, if you like. Giving is part of being thankful: We acknowledge our own bounty and share with those who have less. This year I am achingly aware of those who have less, those who struggle to put everyday food on the table. I can't imagine the anxiety that Thanksgiving, with all its demands of abundance, must bring to those who have no abundance. I am shamed by my shallow vision of perfection.

Bounty is not only the material: it is the strength of our hearts, the power of our intellect, the wisdom of our traditions, the poetry of our being. Community is the communion of sharing these things. Sharing means giving as well as receiving. We are intertwined; our actions reverberate and echo and come around again. No one only gives or only receives.

Everyone brings something to the table.

On Thanksgiving, I have been surprised by unanticipated guests, interesting food, odd drinks, badly-behaved pets, talented teenagers, amazing stories and conversations both warm and contentious. More than anything, I have been surprised by the thrill of the unexpected amid the familiarity of ritual. My expectations are always challenged.

I have to surrender my image of perfection. The reality is far messier, but it is warm and real, unpredictable and delicious. It is the abundance at my table.

There's pumpkin pie on the table and chai on the stove. This is America, after all. We create our own truth, if there even is a truth at all. We are all poor in something. We share with those who have less. Everyone brings something. We are imperfect, real, enriched.

 

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10:36 AM on 12/23/2010
@author - please watch 500 nations - a documentary on the native american nations of united states before the 'pilgrims' came. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/500_Nations
You will know what cruel joke 'Thanks Giving' is to the native Indians.
If america wanted anything to change, they need to do the following:
1) bring a native Indian as president of america - or their own land.
2) Teach every kid in school the massacres caused by the colonizers and the atrocities caused in the name of 'pilgrims' to the native americans and slavery.
3) Abolish slaughtering of birds or any animal sacrifice in the name of 'thanks giving' and worst - blessing the food in the name of god.
Only then would the true spirit of 'thanks giving' would be there.
07:05 PM on 11/26/2010
Our family just spent a Thanksgiving at the home of my aunt and uncle. The corn casserole I brought spilled over into their oven and filled the house with thick smoke. My parents - now divorced but willing to continue sharing holidays with their children and grandchildren - had a public disagreement. My son and his girlfriend were in obvious conflict. My aunt's in-laws were insensitive. My sister was depressed due to a breakup with her boyfriend. Your article and your comment that "your expectations are always challenged" completely resonates with me. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us that Thanksgiving celebrations come in many forms, that what we experience from year to year is all part of the joy (and challenge) of family, and that we need to cherish our blessings while remembering those less fortunate.
01:19 AM on 11/26/2010
Being a British vegetarian Hindu living in America since 1987, I've always been a bit confused about what to do exactly on Thanksgiving. This article by Saumya has allowed me to take tea with Tofurky, alleviating some of my annual Thanksgiving anxiety.
05:02 AM on 12/11/2010
Saumya, your article is indeed great.

You wrote: "My family experience of being Hindu is deeply rooted in inclusiveness, social equity and community service. Chai-party values, if you like. Giving is part of being thankful: We acknowledge our own bounty and share with those who have less." which is very thought provoking.

In every Hindu family, when "Thanksgiving Day" comes they are very much confused "What to do?" and "What not to do?"

Article such as yours will give every one very good ideas how to celebrate "Thanksgiving Day" fitting well for Hindus.

We who profess "Athithi Devo Bhava".....meaning "Guest is God" should not have any problem thanking every one just for coming to our sweet home for a Thanksgiving dinner.

http://www.amiahindu.com/
http://www.boloji.com/hinduism/036.htm
04:54 PM on 11/25/2010
for the deepest perspective on Thanksgiving being replayed right now on the maharishi channel [ channel 3 ] from a video :Maharishi's message on Thanksgiving day, 24 November 1983 (3 hr)
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
12:59 PM on 11/25/2010
Contrary to popular opinon turkey is NOT a legal requirement in any jurisdiction in the US. You know what, how bout if I'm thankful for your right (and desire) to eat lasagne for Thanksgiving and for the pleasure you and your family and friends take in it and all the other dishes and drinks! Seems to me chai fits in perfectly. ( my old new england relatives wold have called it "cambric tea" just right for children and as a comfort for drink for their elders- see? it's more uiversal than you might have thought! ) Welcome home to your other home as well !
12:28 PM on 11/25/2010
I love Saumya's point of view and commentary.
photo
JDuck
Until we know the equal we'll never feel the free.
12:21 PM on 11/25/2010
A warm and Happy Thanksgiving to you as well! :)
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Indigo1941
Time Traveler
07:57 AM on 11/25/2010
Nicely said. Thank you.
12:38 AM on 11/25/2010
Wonderful article! As much as I value my family's traditions, I'm thankful this year to be sharing our bounty with a couple of people who don't have anywhere else to go for Thanksgiving. Saumya's writing is so evocative, I can almost smell the meal she is cooking!
11:55 PM on 11/24/2010
I can definitely relate to having had a "perfect vision" of what Thanksgiving was supposed to be. Through the years, I accepted that it didn't really exist and the reality is so much more richer and more perfect. One Thanksgiving, I was invited to the home of a friend in Northern California and one of the elders asked me, "So how does it feel to experience your first real Thanksgiving?" Brow raised, I respectfully agreed that past Thanksgivings were different, but what can you expect when you were born and raised in the cultural melange that is Hawaii? We may not have had the same 'typical' dinner or traditions, but mine were never any less real and unique to me. We all carry our different histories, traditions, and food to the table and that is GREAT. Thank you for sharing your experience, Saumya!
11:54 PM on 11/24/2010
This is amazing. I get such a visual of the table and the kitchen. I imagine this holds true for many Americans, an immigrants dream -- that's what we're all thankful for.

To be living in America at this point in time, we set the table with what has meaning for us, we share, we celebrate with each other, no matter color or faith, together on this one day.