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Scott Janssen

Scott Janssen

Posted: July 26, 2010 05:49 PM

The Jersey Shore (Leave)

What's Your Reaction:

With August right around the corner, the doldrums of summer are finally here, and that can only mean one thing: MTV's Jersey Shore is upon us. Despite claims Jersey Shore portrays Italian-Americans in a negative light, the show has increased in publicity and viewership. One such American upset with the show's success is the Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie (R), who publicly bashed it to the media.

Christie complained the show takes non-natives of New Jersey -- mostly New Yorkers -- "[and] drops them at the Jersey Shore, and tries to make Americans feel like this is New Jersey. I could tell people, they want to know what New Jersey really is? I welcome them to come to New Jersey any time. The Jersey Shore is a beautiful place, and it's a place that everybody should come on vacation this summer." Christie concluded his blast of Jersey Shore with a final plea for tourists to visit his state, saying, "We've got another 6 weeks or so of summer left. Come to New Jersey!"

I can't blame Christie for his plea for outsiders to not base their opinions of New Jersey on the MTV show. Watching young, spoiled brats live in a nice place on the beach while being encouraged to act out as the cameras roll isn't a fair way to judge a place. Should New Jersey really be condemned because a young woman named "Snooki" was punched in the face by a man at a bar? No, sir. Jersey Shore doesn't represent the state of New Jersey because, in reality, New Jersey is far less classy than the television show. MTV had to bring in classless outsiders to improve the class of the Garden State.

As a baby I was flown to New Jersey with my family to visit a relative who had married a man from New Jersey. I wish I could recount the experience but my subconscious has apparently blocked all memories of the tragedy I experienced (and being Catholic, that should say something. I have plenty to repress). What I do know is this: I left New Jersey as an impressionable youth with the notion air quality is overrated and an unexplainable fear of any form of acting that includes Zach Braff.

I had another opportunity to experience New Jersey when my relative brought her New Jersey husband to come stay with us in Michigan when I was around six years old. Initially my experience with this New Jersey man was enjoyable. He was boisterous, he was playful, and he had no fear showcasing the excess hair he had all over his body. As the week wore on the charm wore off, and my youthful self began to figure out that perhaps whatever this New Jersey man was drinking in excess was truly responsible for his constant "playfulness." Jokingly playing with my sister's dolls was one thing, but staring at them longingly with lust in the eyes that would make my sister's Ken doll question his motives is crossing the line.

On more than a few occasions I found myself in our finished basement poking the passed out Garden State native with a stick I found from the yard, my childish voice managing to choke out, "Wake up, buddy. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here, and shave your back if you can't manage to keep your hair on your own body!" Some may say it's unfair of me to judge New Jersey, considering I'm from Michigan, a state whose infrastructure is literally crumbling. I disagree. I've been to Detroit, so I know ugly, and New Jersey is ugly.

Many years later I'd have the opportunity to see New Jersey again, this time at the tender age of twenty as a much more mature individual. I stood alongside the Philadelphia city limit with an ex-girlfriend and her family and rhetorically asked, "What's that horrible, industrialized pollution cloud across the Delaware River?"

"That would be New Jersey," my ex-girlfriend's father responded as we all looked on in horror. And though none of us believed the thought would ever cross our minds, we decided to retreat back inside the beautiful urban sprawl of Philadelphia to try and forget the horrors we had just witnessed within the Garden State.

When New Jersey Governor Chris Christie says Americans should visit New Jersey because it's nothing like the MTV show Jersey Shore, he's correct -- it isn't. But he's tricking Americans into seeing a place far worse than the show could ever portray.

Scott Janssen is a graduate student, blogger, and all-around drain on society. Follow him at his blog as www.pantslessponderings.com.

 

Follow Scott Janssen on Twitter: www.twitter.com/pantslessponder

With August right around the corner, the doldrums of summer are finally here, and that can only mean one thing: MTV's Jersey Shore is upon us. Despite claims Jersey Shore portrays Italian-Americans i...
With August right around the corner, the doldrums of summer are finally here, and that can only mean one thing: MTV's Jersey Shore is upon us. Despite claims Jersey Shore portrays Italian-Americans i...
 
 
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jdrourke
Snark is good for the soul...
03:20 PM on 07/30/2010
Nice post! Funny!

http://jdrourke.wordpress.com/2010/07/24/dear-jersey-shore/
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Scott Janssen
03:39 PM on 07/30/2010
jdrourke: Well thank you for the compliment and the comment. I liked your post as well.
01:39 PM on 07/29/2010
You're on the COMEDY heading of HuffPost, so I'll take the Jersey bashing for that. Being native to the state, leaving for Manhattan and California, and then returning, I'll say this for NJ: when you hear anyone bash it, think about this. New Jersey has everything you'll find in the entire country rolled into one state, demographically and geographically. The most rural farmlands, the most urban cities. From welfare-laden ghettos to tractor-loving country bumpkins. Beaches and mountains. The poorest of the poor. And the richest of the rich: it ranks among the highest in numbers of millionaires and even billionaires. You want a melting pot, it's here. From Pineys to Dukes and Johnsons, New Jersey is everything America is. Rednecks, drunks, and cultural-elitists. Republicans and Democrats. Ivy Leaguers and NASCAR fans. It's half in the south and half in the north; if you're from here, you know a huge chunk of the state is in fact south of the Mason-Dixon Line. So when you hate on New Jersey, you're pointing out what you hate about, well, all of us. But aside from all that, the real truth that we don't want you to figure out is this: we only live here because we can't afford Manhattan.
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Scott Janssen
01:59 PM on 07/29/2010
SMHIOF: Great comment. Yeah, my shots at New Jersey are on in jest. Making fun of Jersey is a run-on joke in my family that started when...I'm not entirely sure, honestly. I had a relative marry a not-so-impressive guy from there and I had an uncle that went to college there, so we harass them about it a lot. But yeah, I don't have anything against New Jersey. After all, I am a Kevin Smith fan, and we all know how often he mentions he's from the place.

I liked your joke about not affording Manhattan. I actually told my girlfriend not so long ago that if I end up getting a job in the New York area, I'm not living in the city. I'd rather move to New Jersey and commute. And considering I bash New Jersey all the time I just know karma is going to bring me there.

Thanks for the comment!
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awarg
10:30 AM on 07/29/2010
Scott, loved your blog! But you have South Jersey mixed in with North Jersey! We southerners are the true heart of Jersey. Northerners are transplants from NY- live here, paying less taxes,and getting larger homes for the same prices paid in NY. Plus, the city that's home to the "Jersey Shore" is so trashed, that we southerns don't even go there anymore! Ocean City, Wildwood and Cape May are our vacation spots! Thanks for laughs! You brightened my day!
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Scott Janssen
11:20 AM on 07/29/2010
awarg: Thank you for the kind words and for the comment. Picking on New Jersey has always been an inside joke in my family (we do it in good fun) but I'll admit I've never seen southern New Jersey, and I have heard there's a world of difference. I'll have to check it out someday.

Thanks again!
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ChaCubed
Republicans: the Antichrist
11:02 PM on 07/28/2010
Scott, you gotta know that you were the first person I thought of when I heard that the cast of "Jersey Shore" rang the opening bell for NYSE yesterdaymorning! Or should I say, "You was da fuhst."
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Scott Janssen
04:47 AM on 07/29/2010
ChaCubed: Ha, yeah, I saw the NYSE thing, too. Apparently the standard for ringing the opening bell isn't that high. And I'm honored I was the first person you thought of when you saw it. Honored!

Thanks for the comment.
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JoeyDee2
I know what just passed here
12:48 PM on 07/28/2010
Mr. Janssen:
I am originally from Jersey but moved to Florida 23 years ago. When people ask me where I'm from, I say Jersey but don't hold that against me. Woody Allen was asked in his '73 film Sleeper if he believed in God. He said, "I think there's a central intelligence operating in the universe with the exception of certain parts of norther New Jersey." I saw that in Jersey and was the only one in the theater who laughed.

My old college buddies still in Jerzy (misspelling intended) get mad when I diss the lovely climate with no Spring, snow in April, cold in May, and 3-4 annual bouts of flu. I have worked long and hard to eliminate the "accent" but every now and then a "whaddyacallit" pops out.

What really represents the classiest aspect of Jerzy is The Sopranos.
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Scott Janssen
02:14 PM on 07/28/2010
JoeyDee2: The weather you describe in New Jersey sounds a lot like what we have here in Michigan. And I can't say that I've seen "The Sopranos" but I know my sister was hooked on it. I'm also jealous of the fact you live in Florida (minus hurricanes).

Thanks for the comment!
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Frustrated in PA
I am not frustrated, I am NOW disgusted
11:25 PM on 07/27/2010
Now Scott....as any true Northeast person will tell you, there is a difference in Jersey. Do not forget that there is an actual DMZ.....where the zone is guarded by women armed with Aqua Net purple cans yielded as mace and men armed with some day old old Taylor Ham and egg sandwiches ready to take out an eye at a moments notice.

North Jersey and South Jersey. A greater division has not been made since the Koreas split and Sonny and Cher.

The oompa loompah Jersey Shore kids and the always classy housewives who were there gaudy baubles to bankruptcy court are part of North Jersey. You will be happy to note that the smog cloud you viewed from Philly, probably down at Penn's Landing, was South Jersey. And South Jersey is home to some of the greatest in breds and flea markets in the world.

Yes there are the distinctions like where the best place to dump a body is on the Atlantic City expressway in South or the fact the couple that named their child Adolf Hitler is technically in North Jersey, on the PA line but said couple have distinct Southern Jersey tendencies.

Jersey (you can't put the "new" in front of it, we will know you are just a poseur) is a Wonderland, more vivid and interesting than any hole Alice falls into it.......it is a hole unto itself!
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Scott Janssen
04:28 AM on 07/28/2010
Frustrated in PA: Great comment! My jokes at New Jersey's expense aside, my experience with the state is pretty limited. I had an uncle that went to college there and a relative who married a guy from there (the one I mentioned in the article), and it just became a run-on joke in my family to rip New Jersey whenever we could. "Jersey Shore" just offered another opportunity to do it. But New Jersey can't be too bad. I'm a Kevin Smith fan and he mentions the fact he's from New Jersey all the time.

Thanks for the comment (and the info on the Korean-like divisions within the state)!
10:50 PM on 07/26/2010
Instead of supporting his fellow governor in describing Jersey Shore as a crass, offensive portrayal of the New Jersey, what David Paterson does is make a joke of the issue. This just shows you the real clown Paterson is.

It can not be soon enough that New Yorkers are rid of this disastrous governor.

David Paterson proved long ago that he could not govern. “The Democratic Conference: Organizational and Operational Structure Report” is an eyewitness account of Paterson’s DYSFUNCTIONAL governing nature while Senate Minority Leader.

http://www.politico.com/static/PPM110_demreportfinal.html

Paterson’s office was criticized for PATRONAGE, LACK OF LEADERSHIP, INDECISIVENESS and INFIGHTING, set against a backdrop of general CHAOS – in other words the office, a ZOO. Those interviewed in the report indicated that its chief of staff the disorganized Michael Jones-Bey had no management skills, and would get DRUNK with staff, often coming in the office with a HANGOVER, and should be fired.

Amazingly, for running such a DYSFUNCTIONAL CHAOTIC office, the disorganized Michael Jones-Bey was hand picked by David Paterson to mismanage the Division of Minority & Women Owned Business Development (MWBE) at Empire State Development Corporation.

Now that's the Paterson Way - being rewarded for your incompetence.
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Scott Janssen
04:52 AM on 07/27/2010
cleanupnynow:Did Patterson make a joke about "Jersey Shore"? I haven't seen a news report on it but then again I don't live in New York, either. As far as Patterson's stint as governor, I can't really comment. I haven't followed it closely enough to truly know what's going on over there.

Thanks for the comment.
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Suntio
Amat victoria curam.
02:21 PM on 07/27/2010
We must have read different articles, you and I, because I totally missed the part that referenced Paterson.
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Scott Janssen
04:06 PM on 07/27/2010
Suntio: Yeah, I didn't reference Patterson in the article. Maybe cleanupnynow just wanted to get the message out anyway.

Thanks for the comment.
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janie@atthelake
Keep Austin Weird
07:17 PM on 07/26/2010
Never seen MTV's Jersey Shore ....blew off MTV when they stopped showing the music videos. Sorry about the dirt and pollution......of NJ...
Hopefully everyone will get sick of this Scott.
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Scott Janssen
04:48 AM on 07/27/2010
janie@atthelake: I hope so. But I'm guessing people never tire of watching people make fools of themselves on tv. I can count on one hand the number of times I've tuned in to MTV -- by the time I was a teenager MTV had stopped playing videos long ago. But I do know that Comedy Central and MTV are under the same umbrella, and Comedy Central is pretty much stuck on my television. That and HGTV. Yeah, I'm man enough to admit I know what a backsplash is.

Thanks for the comment!