Huff Post Review: Transformers Revenge of the Fallen: The IMAX Experience(2009)

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: The IMAX Experience
2009
150 minutes
Rated PG-13

by Scott Mendelson

There's a little fast-food chicken joint called Star Chicken right next to the Bridge Theater in the Howard Hughes Promenade. I had never been there before, but for less than ten bucks I got a decent baked potato, a soda, and a rather large chicken caesar wrap. It was a hell of a sandwich... tons of tasty white meat chicken, rich caesar dressing, large tomato chunks, plenty of real romaine lettuce, fresh cheese, and yes, actual croutons. Should you decide to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I suggest you make a point to either try a new restaurant or eat at a beloved favorite. That way, your evening won't be a total loss.

A token amount of plot -- The Autobots have spent the last two years working side by side with the US military to track down remaining Decepticon forces that got away after Megatron perished. But an increased number of Decepticon attacks, plus an ominous warning, has Optimous Prime (Peter Cullen) and the military worried about a coming invasion. Meanwhile, human savior Sam Witwicky (Shia Lebeouf) is off to college, but he immediately stumbles upon a lost sliver of the 'AllSpark.' Contact with the artifact causes a flood of Earth and Cybertron knowledge into his head, once again making Sam a target for the Decepticons.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen represents a shocking amount of effort and skill going into a product of little entertainment value and even less significance. The plot is both insanely complicated and absolutely beside the point. The film is as long as The Dark Knight or Sex and the City but contains a full middle act where nothing of consequence occurs. Director Michael Bay once again, possibly out of budgetary constraints, keeps the focus on the human characters while giving them almost nothing interesting to say. While there is a token amount of increased robot on robot fighting this time around, it is so randomly edited and the characters are so poorly defined, that we never know who is fighting who and who is winning.

Ironically, the three most annoying characters in the first film, John Tuturro, Kevin Dunn and Jule White (the latter two as Shia LeBeouf's parents), provide the sole entertainment this time around. Sam's climactic scenes with his parents provide the only genuine emotional content in the film. Megan Fox returns as Shia's girlfriend, bringing new meaning to the term "token love interest." She plays absolutely no role in the story and is there only because the target demo thinks she's the hottest thing since Marilyn Monroe. The army is relatively bland, existing only to get massacred at every given opportunity. For someone who rants about how much he loves the military and how good he makes them look onscreen, Michael Bay sure loves showing our fighting men and women getting slaughtered wholesale.

Barack Obama is seemingly slandered as well, as he is name checked as the current president and thus the appointer of a wrongheaded bureaucrat who shows up, questions everyone, and then interferes whenever possible (yes, Bush was gently mocked in the first film, but he wasn't named and his underlings were shown as competent). Obama is also indirectly blamed for a second-act executive action that hinders the heroes' ability to save the world. Most inexplicable is the first-act debate that the evil Theodore Galloway (John Benjamin Hickey) and Optimus Prime engage in, which ends up becoming a justification for why the US should stay in Iraq forever. Though to be fair, despite looking like his cartoon counterpart (who was apparently good guy), Galloway ends up closely resembling a young Donald Rumsfeld.

And the only remotely interesting robot, Optimus Prime, has far less screen time than you'd think, giving the spotlight instead to Mudflap and Skids (both voiced by Tom Kenny), two bickering robots who look like monkeys, talk in the most stereotypical Ebonics jive possible, and apparently can't read. To say that these two are the most astonishingly racist caricatures that I've ever seen in a mainstream motion picture would be an understatement. The rest of the robots make little impression. Starscream is once again a vehicle for abuse. The Devestator is a speechless giant of a robot, whose sound effects are apparently voiced by Frank Welker (the cartoon voice of Megatron). Ah, poor Frank Welker. Not only did he lose out on voicing Megatron to Hugo Weaving, but Tony Todd was hired to voice the new villain, The Fallen, and apparently instructed to do his very best Frank Welker as Dr. Claw impression.

What of the robot action? Well, there are two genuinely stunning bits, both shot on IMAX film (fair warning, there are about ten minutes of IMAX scenes in this film, compared with over 40 minutes in The Dark Knight). The highlight of the film occurs at the hour mark, as Optimus Prime faces off against a pointlessly resurrected Megatron and two other Decepticons in a forest. In IMAX, the fighting robots are apparently shown to scale, and the richness of the visuals, plus the overall coherency of the fight, makes this a tour de force sequence. The only other action scene of note is the arrival of the Devestator, as he shows up in Egypt during the finale and proceeds to suck everything in sight into his giant robot mouth (much of this is also shot in IMAX film). The rest of the action suffers from the same problems as the first film. It's either impossible to follow and comprehend, or the action is overly comprised of military men shooting at offscreen targets.

Other minor and major problems abound in this mess of a movie. Sam is saddled with a completely unnecessary college roommate, who inexplicably tags along until the end of the film. The comparative absence of Optimus Prime leaves the film hollow at its core, since he was the only robot who had any kind of dramatic impact and/or character (think of it as a Batman film where Batman was sidelined and the film then showcases Robin and Batgirl). To be fair, the humans are much less campy and overtly comical this time around, but now the robots are completely "off the wall zany," which again robs the film of any drama. And what little IMAX footage the film contains is so stunningly rich and visually gorgeous that it makes the surrounding moments look cheap and ugly in comparison.

I don't know why I thought this film would be any better than the original Transformers. My false hope was akin to investigating a murder and failing to notice the burglar standing over the body with a smoking gun. I'd imagine that the many critics who inexplicably gave the original Transformers a pass will now question their tolerance of that equally terrible film. We may not have gotten the Transformers sequel we wanted, but we got the one we deserved. But, hey, the evening wasn't a total loss. That chicken caesar wrap was fantastic.

Grade: D+

If you like what you see here, please check out Mendelson's Memos.

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Comments

[hazepurple]

I agree this was a horrible movie. What really upset me was the amount of curse words. Be careful if you take your kids, they will hear it all from b*@#h, p@#sy, f$#k. The language is over the top and has no place in this movie. It is a hour too long. Better yet take your kids to see Up. This movie is another over-hyped summer block buster. I'm not going to spend any more of my money on these "blockbusters." They have all been horrible and seem to get worse every year.

[Cheerio]

The bots who don't read get wasted. Is that too subtle?

[CalexenderJ]

Unfortunately you just confirmed my suspicions. Everything I've seen so far about this movie suggests that it'll be terrible, and yet I had hoped. Oh I'm still going to go see it, but now my expectations will be firmly in place.

[The Ogre]

The first movie was so terrible. This one could be twenty times better, and it would still not be worth watching.

[mredder4]

The most interesting thing about this movie now appears to be the parade of outfits Megan Fox wears to the various premieres. (Not that I am complaining, mind you, just saying.)

[ICBluejay]

And just imagine, GI Joe: Rise of Cobra the other Hasbro property is going to be worse!

[Lochmon]

"Mudflap and Skids... are the most astonishingly racist caricatures that I've ever seen in a mainstream motion picture..."

Moreso than even Jar-Jar Binks?

[Scott Mendelson - Huffpost Blogger]

Oh god yes... Jar Jar Binks was a clumsy, foolhardy goofball who happened to have a thick quasi-Jamaican accent. These two robots embody every negative cliche about young black men that you can think of. AND, while Jar Jar Binks was barely in Phantom Menace after his ten-minute intro, the two jive-bots dominate the second and third acts completely.

[mredder4]

Keep in mind, though, that Jar-Jar ultimately brought about the formation of the Empire itself, making him personally responsible for the deaths of billions. That's some pretty bad karma. I'll withhold judgment on Mudflap and Skids until I see it, but hopefully their impact is slightly less terrible.

[samjung23]

The racism in this movie just sounds plain vindictive and wrong. I suspected it in the last one, but said I must have been imagining things. Not now!

Thanks for the warnings guys, I'm skipping this!

[Seldon]

I saw this movie, and I did actually enjoy it. I completely agree with Mendelson on most of his points, (in fact I could add a few other plot holes) however the bottom line was that watching big robots beat each other up was worth the price of admission for me. Additionally, there were some genuinely funny moments. I thought the parents were much better in this movie and one of the new transformers, jetfire, I thought had some funny lines. The whole theater cracked up from some of the one-liners.

I honestly hadn't thought about the racist implications of mudflap and skids (or skip?) but they reminded me more of Jar Jar binks, except twice the stupid. Megan Fox, the flatmate, and even some of the transformers were more or less surplus to plot requirements, not to mention the weird addition of a super-tran­sformer-ki­ller gun which gets used once and then.....I dunno the army just sort of forgets about it.

I realise I just gave a bunch of reasons why the movie might be considered bad, and if these sort of things bug you then you probably won't like the movie. However, if you liked the first one this movie is worth a watch.

[Scott Mendelson - Huffpost Blogger]

We all have movies where we see the flaws and enjoy them anyway. No harm in that, and I appreciate the feedback.

[menmykoko]

Now let's just see who will take the time out of their day to trash this movie. Let the bashing begin!!!!

[tc2598]

I tend to set my expectations in line with what I'm watching. For instance, if I'm watching Slumdog Millionaire, I'm expecting some really expert film making.

If I'm watching Transformers, I'm expecting big giant robots breaking stuff up.

You could go into Transformers and expect more than that, and be highly disappointed. It might mean that you are smart and that Transformers is beneath you - good for you.

I pretend I'm twelve for two hours and watch the giant robots.

That probably makes me simple, and it probably makes this reviewer smart, but on the other hand, I don't walk into Wendy's expecting a five star meal. It would be really weird if I did.

I expect this movie to be every bit as intelligent as a box of children's toys. I would be taking myself way too seriously if I pretended like every movie that isn't as smart as me is a waste of time. Star Wars is a comically stupid movie, for instance, unless you turn off the grad student part of your brain and enjoy.

I hope I never get so old that I forget how to chill out and watch a giant robot flick without rolling my eyes and lamenting script flaws. This movie is exactly what was on the poster, and the poster didn't imply any kind of brainiac festival.

[Scott Mendelson - Huffpost Blogger]

Trust me, I'd have no objection to a somewhat competent film that was just giant robots slugging it out for two hours. This ain't it. I'll hold you in no lesser esteem if you enjoy the movie, but it isn't simple enough to justify its badness. And yes, my child's toy box is much smarter than this film.

And don't knock Wendys... their baked potatoes are sometimes as good as the five-star restaurants.

[tc2598]

Fair enough!

[menmykoko]

Well said!

[113]

well said...i don't know why critics across the board seem to judge blockbuster movies on the same plain as oscar worthy films or something like that. I want movies in the summer to be big, loud, and offer an escape. I also like seeing characters i grew up with on the big screen, it's fun, reminds me of my childhood.

A lot of reviewers have been panning the films plot as not making any sense. I'm sure there are a bunch of specific plotholes but the basic story makes complete sense if you even have a very amateurish knowledge of the Transformers mythology (like me).

Finally, there is one point i agree with most critics of michael bay on, and that is his chronic need to dumb down his films with bad jokees and too much lightheartedness. I don't want a 100% drama with a movie about robots, but if Bay is trying to create a world that he wants to be somewhat believable then he needs to cut some of the unnecessary stuff like the Twin characters.

[MVPOnline]

"Typical liberal media review.........." - I suspect Mr. Medelson's review will be spot-on.

After seeing the first film on DVD, my impression was that Jon Voight's performance was meant to mask that of the image of Donald Rumseld (i.e. macho, tough and in charge). The only reason I didn't laugh over this was because the action scenes were as this reviewer described - "either impossible to follow and comprehend", plus the bombastic music and crappy script and plot made the film a disaster.

The endless automobile product placement got really annoying after about 15 minutes. Perhaps GM should've paid more attention to saving their business instead of having their cars appear in a movie.

But does one seriously expect anything intelligent or entertaining from something done by a Jerry Bruckheimer clone (Michael Bay) ?

[Creag]

I wish someone would stop Hollywood from destroying my childhood. I dont understand why having countless material to pull from they would create the transformers in such a way that you cant tell who is who. Ill take my 1980s Optimus Prime over this new one any day of the week.

[Wolves50]

Typical liberal media review..........

[Cheerio]

Wolfie, what makes this review liberal? The Mudflap & Skids comments? Tyrese the actor portraying the U.S. Army Officer corrects the Binksmanship of those two characters. I think the Obama arc can be explained because the Rumsfeld character and others with him weren't really acting on the President's orders - although they said they were. They were lying. Remember "Mars Attacks"?
I don't ride roller coasters anymore, but young people do and that's the movie. The parents are hysterical, as they were in the first movie.

[COPerez]

You left out the most important information: what did Megan Fox wear and how much screen time does she get?

[BannedFromCommenting]

Because that is her only value... look at the links below the article.. all to what she wore at premieres and promos

[Cheerio]

Same protocol with all other movies... notice its Sandra Bullock 's name leading the last blockbuster movie in all the headlines, no mention of Ryan Renolds. My guess is Renolds is the reason the film succeeded.

[gerontion72]

Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?

[Archontruth]

Because they keep making money. go figure.