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NFL Week 11 - Tweet Dreams

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Hypothetical tweets from real NFL figures!

@ChrisCanty99 How do we stop @MikeVick? Sack him while he's still in the huddle. #encroachment

@LFletcher59 (London Fletcher) Albert Haynesworth told us we have to play with more fire in our bellies. #leadingbyexample

@DeSeanJackson10 If @MikeVick has another 400 yards and 6 touchdowns, we should beat the Giants easily. #notlikelytohappen

@jayrat90 (Jay Ratliff) Roy Williams and Jon Kitna have been watching film of the highlights of their time with the Lions. #mustbeashort

@VShiancoe (Visanthe Shiancoe) Brett told us this Sunday's game against the Packers is just another game for him. #dontstopbelievin

@AaronRodgers12 We're glad that Brett Favre is in Minnesota - let him throw his dumb interceptions for someone else. #trojanhorse

@B_Johnson80 (Bryant Johnson) Jon Kitna? Didn't he play for someone else before he played for the Cowboys? #howquicklytheyforget

@MattForte22 If only we could face Tyler Thigpen every week. #tokenopposition

@TonyGonzalez88 I told Matt Ryan that Sam Bradford is the best young quarterback in the game. #bitingthehandthatfeedsyou

@EarnestGraham Coach Morris told Mike Williams that we're really upset that he failed his sobriety test and told him to study harder next time. #missedthatclass

@Pierre_Thomas If an injured player works out, but no one's there to see it, does he make a noise? #youtellus

@MrGoOdSoN33 (Mike Goodson) Tony Pike, if we're starting some guy we just signed last week over you, you might want to consider another line of work.

@LarryFitzgerald @kurt13warner came by practice the other day; Derek Anderson begged him to come out of retirement. #selfawareness

@Hasselbeck (Matt Hasselbeck) We're excited to see if we can score against New Orleans. #dontbetonit

@DCarr_5 (David Carr) I'm the top quarterback on the team not named Smith. #dontgettooexcited

@LaurentRobinson How is it that @MardyGilyard has more Twitter followers than I do? #heactuallyplays

@therealKDUB20 (Kyle Wilson) We've won two straight games in overtime. Coach Ryan says he'll do a cartwheel if we make it three overtime wins in a row. #donttemptfate

@DonteWhitner Now that we've actually won a game, Coach Gailey warned us against becoming overconfident #settingthebarlow

@VontaeDavis21 Brandon Marshall claims he forgot that he and @JayCutler6 aren't teammates any more. #puntedthegame

@RobGronk_87 (Rob Gronkowski) BenJarvus Green-Ellis sent us a cease-and-desist order to stop us from referring to him as the "Law Firm". #ironic

@maualuga58 We're not sure whether @OGOchoCinco is upset because we're losing games, he isn't getting the ball, or his reality show's ratings are down. #disengaged

@lawrencetimmons Why do people keep asking me about The Immaculate Reception this week? I have no idea what they're talking about. #historybuff

@tommyzbikowski Our offense is still mad at our defense for giving away the Atlanta game. #dontgetrayraymad

@abeelam We're tired of moral victories - we need some real ones. #noteveryonecanbeaboveaverage

@MelvinBullitt33 Peyton says if he scores a touchdown this week that he's going to do the Gillette Jump. #maynotcomebackinonepiece

@davidgarrard9 @MikeThomasJAX has been strutting around like a peacock all week just because he scored on that Hail Mary pass. #opportunistic

@ArianFoster I imagine what I could do running behind the Jets' offensive line. #winningfriendsandinfluencingpeople

@dmorg91 (Dexter Morgan) We're hoping Washington uses the same defense against us as they used against the Eagles. #expectafewminoradjustments

@Jfordj12 (Jacoby Ford) Coach Cable promised to punch out our entire coaching staff if we beat the Steelers. #expectanicecoldgatoradebath

@D_McCluster (Dexter McCluster) Coach Haley promised to punch out Arizona's entire coaching staff if we beat the Cardinals. #nohardfeelings

@EDK92 (Elvis Dumervill) We're performing our customary second half swoon, but this season we don't have the first half wins to offset that. #jobinsecurity

@ShaunPhillips95 Since we don't know who's going to be healthy enough to play receiver this week, Philip Rivers has been throwing to cardboard cutouts in practice. #theyreabitstiff

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