Hypothetical tweets from real NFL figures!
@raylewis52com I just became the mayor of the New England Patriots' backfield on Foursquare. Can't wait until my next check-in! #meanmachine
@LeighBodden Psst, pass it on - I just heard that Tom Brady destroyed his Justin Bieber CD collection. #girlyman
@nickmangold Brett, do you still have that iPhone I loaned you? #indecentexposure
@terrellowens I just tweeted the NFL office to find out how much longer until the game starts. #badmove
@LarryFitzgerald How is it that we started Derek Anderson for the first four games of the season and are still 3-2? #twilightzone
@biermann71 (Kroy Biermann) Worked all week on a new touchdown dance. #wishfulthinking
@steviejohnson13 At least we won't lose this week. #eternaloptimist
@jimmyclausen How's Notre Dame doing under Coach Weis this season? #selfabsorbed
@JayCutler6 Can you believe we actually won a game that Todd Collins started? #sadsack
@AntwanOdom98 Looks like I'll have a lot of time to tweet the next 4 weeks. #busted
@JoshCribbs16 If Peyton Hillis can't play this week, at least we still have Jerome Harrison to fall back on. #mikebellfanclub
@marccolombo The next time our offense scores a touchdown I'm going to spike a referee. #irrationalexuberance
@TimTebow Does anybody have John Elway's phone number? I have some great investment ideas for him. #swindlerslist
@ndamukong_suh This winning thing is fun! #dontgetusedtoit
@AaronRodgers12 Concussion? What concussion? Bring on the Redskins! #furthertestingneeded
@johnson80 (Andre Johnson) My ankle's fine - why do you ask? #pointspreads
@PierreGarcon85 After his lousy game against KC we've been calling Peyton "Eli" all week. He doesn't seem amused. #bigbrotheriswatchingyou
@MarcedesLewis89 We're on Monday Night Football this week?!? I can't believe it either. #whatweretheythinking
@GlennDorsey72 Did anyone else get a thank-you card this week signed by the '72 Dolphins? #champagne
@brianhartline So, who wants to play on special teams this week? #notisaidthepig
@AdrianPeterson Hey Brett - that's all you've got? #ineligibleman
@drewbrees Can you believe Coach Payton said with a straight face he has faith in @GHartley5 as our kicker? #kissofdeath
@kbull53 (Keith Bulluck) After blowing out the Texans how tough can a game against the Lions be? #anygivensunday
@OfficialBraylon I despise @KingJames, but the Heat could win more games this season than the Pittsburgh Pirates. #tweetingfromprison
@dmcfadden20 @michaelbush29 just came up to me and said, "Don't worry - I got this." Not sure what he meant by that. #wallypipp
@MichaelVickZone Anybody know who we're playing this week? #feignedignorance
@tpolamalu Wonder what kind of reception Big Ben will get? #stayoutofthebathroom
@MarcusMcNeill73 How's LT doing for the Jets this season? #dontaskdonttell
@TakeoSpikes51 Seriously, people think the Raiders are better this season than us just because we're 0-5? #bayofpigs
@Hasselbeck (Matt Hasselbeck) Since Marshawn Lynch is now with us, we've installed the Bills' offense to accomodate him. #secondpickofthedraft
@sj39 (Steven Jackson) How can people be so down on Sam Bradford after one bad game? #ficklefanamnesia
@GK_McCoy (Gerald McCoy) All we have to do is beat New Orleans and we'll be in first place! #dreamon
@DwillOne7 (Damian Williams) Who says our wide receivers aren't any good? #commonknowledge
@thecooleyzone Albert Haynesworth says Coach Shanahan's the best thing that's ever happened to his career. #yeahright