An Open Letter to Keith Olbermann

Dearest Keith:

This is coming from a guy who only watched SportsCenter because you and Dan were on it. As well as a dude who couldn't stand watching you parrot the Lewinsky coverage in the 1990s because, as it obvious to everyone else in the world now, it was totally beneath you.

But your recent call on Countdown for Bush to resign may have been a brilliant piece of agitprop, but as we both know it has zero chance in holy hell of happening. Bush and Cheney's ascendancy to power had nothing to do with the law, and in fact the Supremes paved the way for both of them. Both started a war of aggression against a sovereign nation without a care of international law. Both outed covert agents here, jailed innocents everywhere and much worse. The idea that they are going to feel guilty for screwing the law and the people it is supposed to protect is laughable.

In other words, you should have called for his impeachment.

That, my friend, would have showed balls. Same if Nancy Pelosi, who has no literal or figurative balls to speak of did it, which of course, having no balls, she won't. Doing so would have added to fuel to the national fire of impeachment. I also think it would have gone a long way to exorcize your Lewinsky demons, when another, better president was actually impeached for getting his White House wanker sucked off by a Beverly Hills High School moocow.

In any case, thanks for speaking some truth to power in these dark ages. Your arm has grown long indeed, to mangle Tolkien, and its influence is growing more than ever. Please use it to offer some manageable solutions, rather than pleading with criminals to stop leading lives of astounding luxury because of the crimes they happily commit.

You might as well ask the Cubs to win the World Series.

BFF,

Scott Thill
Asshole Journalist

P.S. Please accept my apology for this letter if you actually called for Bush's impeachment before. Not talked about it, or teased out the possibilities. Actually called for it. If that already happened, I'd like to apologize for the crack about the Cubs. I know you don't care whether they win the World Series or not, but it's just not fair to Chicago to keep rubbing it in.