How to Read an Article on the Internet

1) Step one: tweet the article.

2) Okay, time to dive in. But first things first: scroll down to the Comments section and leave a comment or two. Be sure to point out any grammatical mistakes other people make.

3) Let's do this thing. Scan the headline and byline. Suddenly you feel VERY EXCITED/VERY ANGRY. Let Twitter know.

4) Before you forget, email the link to your Liberal/Conservative/Fun/Mean uncle who agrees/disagrees with you on everything. The subject line could read: "Thought of you" but there should be no text in the email body. Just a link. CC 12 members of your extended family and two old college buddies.

5) Can you believe this article? Quickly copy and paste the last sentence of the piece and share it on Facebook without quotation marks, so it's unclear if you wrote it yourself. Neither confirm nor deny this. No time for that.

6) "Like" the article you just shared on Facebook.

7) If no one has replied yet to the email you sent, maybe it didn't go through. Reply-all with the same link.

8) Someone just responded to your Facebook post: "These aren't you're own words." Defend yourself by immediately correcting them: "It's your* not you're."

9) Take a screenshot of the Facebook interaction and Instagram it. For a caption, use #FactsOnly or any series of five emojis.

10) This article is really firing you up. Cool off with a coconut water.

11) Your comments are still pending. Email the site moderator a couple of times.

12) You're getting a bit hungry. Click a link on the right-hand rail about the health benefits of olive oil. Open it up in a tab for later.

13) Okay, time to rock this article. But you better quickly tweet about the olive oil piece. You should probably email it, too. Your mom's gonna love that one.