Is Spanking Children to Discipline Them, American?

Bill Clinton Hadam is the 6-year old son of Congolese refugees entering his first school year in suburban Clarkson, Georgia. The Christian Science Monitor is chronicling his first school year in a special multimedia feature on their website. Bill's grades have not been that good, so his teachers and parents have been discussing how to discipline him. The appropriateness of corporal punishment has come up as this excerpt from the latest story by reporter Mary Wiltenburg shows:

"[Bill's father] Hassan agreed wholeheartedly with the teachers' characterization of his son's defiant behavior. Here in America, he and Dawami [Bill's mother] had the same problems with Igey at home, Hassan said. But what could they do? 'He says: "I don't want to do it,"' Hassan says. Where he grew up, in Congo, or where his wife did, in Rwanda and Tanzania, corporal punishment would've taken care of that in a hurry. 'But here, the system is you can't force a kid to do what he doesn't want to do. You can't slap him.'

Many of the countries in south, east, and central Africa have banned corporal punishment in schools, according to anti-spanking groups the Center for Effective Discipline and the Global Initiative to End All Corporate Punishment of Children, which track laws on the subject worldwide. The United Nations Children's Fund is lobbying nations to outlaw it in homes as well, but notes that it 'remain[s] prevalent in homes, where it is hidden from public view and often enjoys legal protection through civil and customary laws.'

This is not, of course, to imply that all African parents hit their kids. But interviews for this project give the collective impression that many refugee families are struggling with the disconnect between expectations of parental discipline here and back home.

'If you could [only] slap him,' Dawami joked, rolling her eyes. 'In Africa if you slap him today, he'll [do what you tell him to] tomorrow.'

Everybody laughed. But behind the joke is a worry she's expressed over and over: How do you raise 'American kids' when you were raised to be an African parent?

The readers' comments at the end of this piece are also worth reading.

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Comments

[ThePharoahsApprentice]

The answer is simple - you spank them like most African-Americans do with their children, just wait until you get home.

Spare the rod, spoil the child. There are a lot of spoiled American children running around this country that could use a persuasive foot in their @$$. These kids (like the goats) are an embarrassment to their parents and a shame to their family's. Not to mention an annoyance to be around.

A healthy amount of fear/ respect is good for their emotional stability.

[Riani]

I was spanked as a child, and no, it has not sent me into therapy. (Unlike quite a lot of un-spanked children) I find that whenever people are opposed to spanking, they often talk about hitting, slapping and beating. That is not spanking. Spanking constitutes a few well placed smack on your derriere, to remind you that there can be swift and painful consequences t certain actions. Much like real life, I'd say.

I am opposed to slapping in the face, beating, use of fists and belts, and other abusive practises. But while I hardly ever use it, I retain the right to spank my child if I think it is necessary.

[rawsteak]

my parents are south american and i was spanked as a kid. i feel that as humans, we are still animals, despite being more evolved. we have language to express how people feel and think but corporal punishment is much faster, which is how it works on animals.

ow. what was i doing? lets stop and think about this. if i do this, this might happen, and it will hurt. therefore, i shouldn't do it.

as humans however, we should understand why we should not do this, and stop because it is not appropriate. the trouble is too many people incorrectly use pain and punishment for ALL problems and do not explain WHY, instead of telling someone not to do it.

for me (and my parents) the punishment was to make me stop and think about what was going on. when you're a kid, you're not always paying attention or thinking about what you're doing. like an animal, they just DO things. ever see someone ask their kid why they were doing something, and see the kid just stare at them? duh! they weren't thinking of anything! but when you're in pain, your body instinctively slows everything down and says, "let's figure this out! why am i in pain?"

corporal punishment even happens as adults. man i love candy, but my teeth hurt. this dentist is making my teeth hurt even more!! i should eat less candy and/or take better care of my teeth!

the system works!

[RightWingMarine]

it's ok for children to know that their parents are bigger than they are and that children have to do what the parents tell them to.