The following is a partial transcript of Hillary Clinton's interview on an imaginary episode of The O'Reilly Factor.
Bill: Did you agree with me when I characterized Mexicans as "wetbacks" on the air?
Bill: By the way, I thought your joke -- you know, the one about Gandhi being a gas station attendant? Man, I thought that was effin' funny.
Hillary: Well, you know I apologized for that joke, Bill.
Bill: Well I wish you hadn't. Christ, that was funny.
Bill: Women love you, huh? Why is that?
Hillary: Well, Bill, I think it's because...
Bill: I love broads, man. You ever read my laughably terrible sex novel Those Who Trespass?
Hillary: I can't say that I...
Bill: Here, let me read you a little. (Reading) "She felt Shannon gently tweak her nipples with his thumbs and forefingers. He then began to move his fingers in a light circular motion. Her breasts strained against her shirt. It felt so good." (Stops Reading) Pretty effin' hot, huh?
Hillary: And on that issue, I believe I'm better prepared than Senator Obama.
Bill: Hey, speaking of black dudes, were you at the fundraiser for inner-city kids that I hosted? You know, where I said "I hope they're not in the parking lot stealing our hubcaps?"
Bill: What about the restaurant in Harlem where I was surprised that black people ate just like regular people? I mean, with forks and knives and everything.
Bill: Or the time I boycotted Pepsi because their black spokesman, Ludacris, degraded women -- even though I had to settle a sexual harassment suit with one of my producers, and wrote that horrible, horrible book with passages like "Then he slipped her panties down her legs and, within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly"?
Bill: Do you agree with my stated hope that Al Qaeda attacks San Francisco?
Bill: Well I hope to hell they do, and I hope Olbermann's there when it happens. Man, that'd be sweet. KABOOM! Where's your smirk now, four-eyes?
Bill: You ever use one of those loofah things in the shower?
Hillary: I don't think that's an appropriate...
Bill: Man, those things feel good. You know what I'm talkin' about.
Bill: Level with me. Friend to friend here...if Obama's elected, we can kiss the whole thing goodbye, can't we? I mean, this guy's gonna paint the White House gold -- he's gonna make Flava Flav Secretary of State, that wife of his is gonna go on tour with Mary J. Blige, and we're all gonna be kneeling to a statue of Osama Bin Laden. Am I right?
Hillary: That may be the most racist thing anyone's ever said.
Bill: No, no -- the most racist thing anyone's ever said is (omitted by Fox News).
Bill: Be honest...have you ever met a bigger d-bag than me?
Bill: Kind've weird that you agreed to be on my show, knowing what a misogynistic, racist, dim-witted, anti-American hypocrite I am, huh? Boy, you must be desperate.
Hillary: You have no idea.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.