Excerpts from Hillary's Interview on The O'Reilly Factor

The following is a partial transcript of Hillary Clinton's interview on an imaginary episode of The O'Reilly Factor.

Bill: Did you agree with me when I characterized Mexicans as "wetbacks" on the air?

Hillary: I, uh...

Bill: By the way, I thought your joke -- you know, the one about Gandhi being a gas station attendant? Man, I thought that was effin' funny.

Hillary: Well, you know I apologized for that joke, Bill.

Bill: Well I wish you hadn't. Christ, that was funny.

Bill: Women love you, huh? Why is that?

Hillary: Well, Bill, I think it's because...

Bill: I love broads, man. You ever read my laughably terrible sex novel Those Who Trespass?

Hillary: I can't say that I...

Bill: Here, let me read you a little. (Reading) "She felt Shannon gently tweak her nipples with his thumbs and forefingers. He then began to move his fingers in a light circular motion. Her breasts strained against her shirt. It felt so good." (Stops Reading) Pretty effin' hot, huh?

Hillary: Um...

Hillary: And on that issue, I believe I'm better prepared than Senator Obama.

Bill: Hey, speaking of black dudes, were you at the fundraiser for inner-city kids that I hosted? You know, where I said "I hope they're not in the parking lot stealing our hubcaps?"

Hillary: No, I wasn't.

Bill: What about the restaurant in Harlem where I was surprised that black people ate just like regular people? I mean, with forks and knives and everything.

Hillary: No.

Bill: Or the time I boycotted Pepsi because their black spokesman, Ludacris, degraded women -- even though I had to settle a sexual harassment suit with one of my producers, and wrote that horrible, horrible book with passages like "Then he slipped her panties down her legs and, within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly"?

Hillary: Sorry, no.

Bill: Do you agree with my stated hope that Al Qaeda attacks San Francisco?

Hillary: Absolutely not.

Bill: Well I hope to hell they do, and I hope Olbermann's there when it happens. Man, that'd be sweet. KABOOM! Where's your smirk now, four-eyes?

Bill: You ever use one of those loofah things in the shower?

Hillary: I don't think that's an appropriate...

Bill: Man, those things feel good. You know what I'm talkin' about.

Hilary: Actually, I...

Bill: Yeah, you know.

Bill: Level with me. Friend to friend here...if Obama's elected, we can kiss the whole thing goodbye, can't we? I mean, this guy's gonna paint the White House gold -- he's gonna make Flava Flav Secretary of State, that wife of his is gonna go on tour with Mary J. Blige, and we're all gonna be kneeling to a statue of Osama Bin Laden. Am I right?

Hillary: That may be the most racist thing anyone's ever said.

Bill: No, no -- the most racist thing anyone's ever said is (omitted by Fox News).

Bill: Be honest...have you ever met a bigger d-bag than me?

Hillary: No, I haven't.

Bill: Kind've weird that you agreed to be on my show, knowing what a misogynistic, racist, dim-witted, anti-American hypocrite I am, huh? Boy, you must be desperate.

Hillary: You have no idea.

(End transcript)

Comments

[RoboA2008]

Clinton is running for VP on the McCain. Bill said so with his two great Americans running for office speech. Remember? Bill is a prophet. Since she is not going to get the Democratic nomination how else are those two great Americans going to run? McCain - Clinton. What did Terry McCaulife call Fox News recently? Fair and balanced. McCain will pull the white vote and Clinton will pull the liar vote. What a potent team!

[Texanna33]

Was this article supposed to be funny? I guess it would be if you weren't so obviously just as biased against Hillary as O'reilly is against all Democrats.

[ripley8]

here's a funny fact ......... Obama has been on Fox news before , interviewed , while this has been Clintons first time. ( not that I'm a Faux News fan)

(This item has been corrected from a previous version that said Senator Obama refused to appear on Fox News Channel. In fact, Obama has been interviewed on Fox News several times. The Huffington Post regrets the error.)

the fact that Obama has adopted Clintons standing points as his own have shifted over the last year says volumes. Making grand speeches does not a president make. Anyone can memorize a speech. But he doesn't have the ability to make a decision quickly. he hems and haws .... and sometimes there isn't time to hem and haw.

[katzenmom]

While I share your opinion of Bill O'Reilly wholeheartedly, and find most of Fox's alleged newspeople and commentators in the midrange between mildly and profoundly retarded, I'm really looking forward to the "real deal" tonight! Because much to my disgust, the rest of the media anointed Obama as the only choice for "real" Democrats about 6 months ago and they have been exhorting us relentlessly to canonize him with our votes ever since. As a "real" voting Democrat of almost 39 years standing, the only network I've seen treating Hillary with something akin to fairness has been.... guess who! FOX, which is finally trying to earn a few "fair and balanced points" for a change!

What a sad state of affairs we're in! The loonies at FOX can afford to paint a balanced picture of our candidates because not one among them will vote for either. The "liberal" media has picked a candidate due largely to the never-ending mantra of change and tried to cram him down our throats, no matter how glib, unprepared, or superficial. Why? Because Bill (and I don't mean O'Reilly) played fair with them when he could and told them where to go when he couldn't, so they're taking it out on Hill.

Hell, why don't we just nominate the donkey? He'd be a positive change, too, compared to the ass in the White House. Or, just for a change, why not try the candidate with the creds and the guts to WIN?

[Texanna33]

Wow, finally a sane voice. Your comments hit the nail on the head. The media decided early on who the next president will be and have done everything in thier power to make sure we would follow like unthinking sheep and go into that voting booth and elect Obama. What ever happened to just reporting the facts and letting the people decide. I used to be an MSNBC junkie and now I can only watch it small snippets because they are clearly biased that I don't know how they can call themselves new people.

Some times I feel like we are all a part of the old fairy tale " The Emperor Who Wore No Clothes" .
Thanks for stating the obvious that no one else has the guts to say.

[FlowerGirl]

I hope this is your April last joke.

[bruce9432]

Hey, see all you guys for a redo in 2012, it's over Johnny, you guys can hate all you want but the fact remains the cat don't care if the mice (dems) call him an asshole.

[Wiam]

You funny Seth. Very funny. Nailed it.

[skibum49]

I was just looking at some teaser pieces from the Hillary interview (for those who don't know the interview has already happened and will be shown on Videotape on Billo's Wed and Thur shows --- hes planning on milking this one for ratings as much as possible). Anyway if the teasers are any indication it would appear to be one softball question after another to try and create some "controversial" Clinton response to Obama problems. Just what I suspected it would be.

[Bettysdad]

Because of FCC regulations we won't be able to see Hillary swallow.

[campgranata]

I wish that some of the hard hitting humour in this faux piece will be present in tonight's interview but O'reilly will act deferential and ask only softball questions with the excuse that he respects the office she holds. ever since O'Reilly got caught with his Loofah out, he's become one of the biggest bores on tv. I just wish he would handle MRS Clinton with the sarcasm and shortness he honors Jane Hall with. I am sure it will not be worth watching.

[ButterflyWeed]

LOL - made me recall watching Geraldo Rivera "opening Al Capone's vault" in Chicago...­.big empty room in a basement awaited viewers...­uber-hype and zero value.

[FOXYLADY]

THE BIGGEST LIE EVER TO APPEAR ON TELEVISION, THE MOST RIDICULOUS SLOGAN IS THE FOX NETWORK SLOGAN....­..........­......I WON'T EVER REPEAT IT AS IT IS NOT SO FAIR AND BALANCED..­..........­..........­.......

[MickeyG]

People: This was a Feax interview. The real one will happen tonight at 8:00 p.m. EST on O'Liely's the O'Reilly Factor. Since Billo is a Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck clone, and they are all backing Hillary for President (until she actually wins the nomination), this should be a pro-Hillary rally. Just watch what they do to Obama, if you can stand it!

[FOXYLADY]

I haven't paid attention in the last couple days to what's going on with Hillary Clinton or Barach Obama. (except for the black reverend). Soooo, I don't know whether Hillary Clinton really was on with Riley. If she was it was a huge mistake...­........Bi­ll O"rielly is a real sob, nasty and mean...he even looks mean and reminds me of man in my life ages ago who was just as mean and disreputab­le...a relative. I guess he is still on TV as some really like punishment!!

[madmaggie57]

Your right tanyainsac­ramento...­I missed the "imaginary" part until after I commented.­, O'Reilly is still an Idiot!

[elmysterio]

Did Hillary REALLY appear on O'Reilly's show? I guess there's no better way to 'reach' the rabid right...