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Shannon Bradley-Colleary

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Married Straight Mom Seeking Single Gay Man

Posted: 02/ 2/2012 5:16 pm

I find myself in the arms of a 6'2" god of a man we'll call Atlas. What would my hubby say if he knew? "You go girl!" Because my husband hates to dance. And because I'm in a gay nightclub on Leather Weekend in Palm Springs, and Atlas doesn't play for my team. He's just using me to attract another hunk we'll call Bare-Butt Chaps.

I didn't always love gay people. When I left home for college, I was a homophobe, because I didn't know any gay people. I was shocked to discover their were two known lesbians on my dorm floor. Were they dangerous? Would they try to jump me in the communal showers, Born-Innocent-style?

Turns out they had names. Julie and Roxanne. They hung out in Roxy's Joan-Jett-bedazzled dorm room smoking clove cigarettes. One day they invited me in. Taking my life in my hands, I entered the Lesbian Lair. It was oddly... ordinary. They talked about their lame love lives and listened to music just like my straight friends. Huh. Then they invited me to go to Peanuts, a drag club in West Hollywood.

I hadn't been off the USC campus yet, let alone to Gay Town. I was also, I might mention, a virgin. Non-virgins were trollops. I was a pristine vessel never to be smote down by God. I also never drank or did drugs. I was a smug little debutante.

I agreed to go to Peanuts. I'd like to think it was a gesture of friendship, but there was a voyeuristic component involved. I was a journalism student who, up to this point, had little to report. To fortify myself for the assignment I smoked a clove cigarette. Roxy pulled over just before we got on the 10 Freeway so I could barf.

When we arrived at Peanuts, I was surprised to see that people were wearing clothes and not just permanently affixed condoms. Inside, gay couples danced together. Some were sexy, some awkward, in love, in lust... exactly like straight people. Huh.

Then came the drag show. What beauty! What diva swagger! Also, what had they done with their penises? I wanted to know from a purely anthropological perspective, of course.

When the house music came up again, I threw caution to the tsunami and joined the pulsating throng, dancing with both men and women. (Only after I'd informed them I was straight. And a virgin. A Straight Virgin.)

Dancing in a gay club was different from dancing on fraternity row. For the first time, I didn't feel like anyone was hitting on me. Or judging me. I felt safe. And free.

Twenty-seven years later. Leather Weekend in Palm Springs. I'm dancing onstage when sumptuous Altas winds his way through the crowd, arms outstretched to receive me. I leap into them. And for one long club version of Katy Perry's Firework, I enjoy the pleasure of dancing with a gorgeous man guilt-free. We spin, swing, and twirl around the disco dance floor, and I'm free again.

 
 
 

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08:59 AM on 02/06/2012
I have a deep love and respect for the gay community.I just gave a son up for adoption to a gay male couple in oct 2011, it was their first child. When I made the very hard choice of giving my baby up I knew right away it would be a couple that would not only love and cherish the gift I was giving them but would have the tools to teach my child the true meaning of pure acceptance.I wanted my child to grow up in a world where being judgemental of others is not taught, or tollerated for a moment.The day I handed my perfect son to his dads was one of the best days of my life, I got to change someone elses lives. All they wanted was to be parents and I was able to give them that and ensure my son will grow up in a world where discrimination is not tollerated. I hope our son changes the way others view and treat the people of the gay community and he can bring light and awareness to the loving, giving, men and women that some dont see as who they really are and what joy they bring here. To the ones who are giving this woman a hard time for trying to say something great, about people who are always being judged, looked down on, and discriminated against take it easy on her she just enjoys and appreciates some exciting gay company.
12:12 PM on 02/06/2012
Hi Jole30 - thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I know it couldn't have been easy to give your son up for adoption, but you've done so in such a thoughtful, caring way. I'm hoping to raise my girls in the way your son will be raised. Kisses to you.
02:51 PM on 02/06/2012
Thank you very much. I appreciate your reply, and I very much enjoy reading your blogs everyday. Have a wonderful day..xoxoxo
08:38 AM on 02/06/2012
"I enjoy the pleasure of dancing with a gorgeous man guilt-free."

When would a straight married man be "allowed" the opportunity to dance with a gorgeous woman, guilt free? The answer is never. Men, avoid marriage like the plague.
12:09 PM on 02/06/2012
Box500 -- thank you for giving me my morning chuckle. xo
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caroleann926
Less exploitation and more empowerment to women
12:23 PM on 02/06/2012
You say that men should avoid marriage like the plague? I think women should do the same. Just use men for sex whenever you feel the urge and to have children. Most of us are intelligent self-supporting women, raised our children, don't want to clean up after a man who leaves a sloppy bathroom and expects his wife to bend to his every whim. I love men - I just don't want to marry them.
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Pho3n1xSun
your micro-bio is empty
01:45 AM on 02/06/2012
I like this woman.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ObservantDem
01:53 AM on 02/04/2012
I liked the piece. I like your honesty about how your perspectives about gay people have evolved from stereotypes to fully dimensional people. Thanks for sharing your perspective:)
12:17 PM on 02/04/2012
Hi Observant Dem -- I'm so glad you took the post in this light. It's what I intended.
04:00 PM on 02/03/2012
In the crazy world of heterosexual relations it's strange to find women lauding the benifits of partying with men that don't want her. Men on the other hand would be unlikely to boast about how good it is to hang out with women that don't want them, because they don't take women's interest in them for granted. The lesson of this isn't that men should like women less, but women need to learn to appreciate the men who want them more. It's not that they have to be with these men, but respect our attraction in the same way a gay man can the attention of another man. That is what you probably should be learning from your trip to the gay bar. What interaction between the sexes could really be like if we behaved as true equals instead of assuming it's the duty of one to pursue the other.
04:24 PM on 02/03/2012
Hi edtastic -- I'm at an age where I truly appreciate any man who is interested in me. The other day a group of gardeners whistled at me and I thanked them profusely. However at a straight club I wouldn't feel good about dancing with men when I'm married. It's just a different vibe.
03:36 AM on 02/04/2012
That is your issue that you can not dance with a straight man that is not your husband. Maybe picking the wrong men to dance with? BTW your husband should dance with you and enjoy himself, as long as you do not make fun of his dancing.... assuming he physically can.
03:01 PM on 02/03/2012
I hear a insecure judgemental claptrap in most of these responses. Shannon simply shares a chapter in her early college life experience, relating how she discovered that us homo types aren't so bad after all. I found her article to have an honset and rather humorous bent. I don't get why anyone takes offense at this article... a missing sense of humor or lack of sophistication?
Then again what does a 45 year old San Francisco native, black, gay identified, bisexual male know?? :-)
05:52 PM on 02/03/2012
To answer why anyone would take offense, it is due to discomfort with being regarded as an accessory rather than a person. The piece above read as if it were a travelogue of an exotic vacation.
12:43 AM on 02/04/2012
hi donx -- I can understand why you would take offense. When I was younger, and just a wee bit hotter I didn't enjoy being objectified. Perhaps this post might've done better with my demographic. Harried, tired moms who need an exotic vacation from their usual routine. I meant this post as a love song to my gay friends, but somehow it's not playing like one.
06:30 PM on 02/03/2012
ny1hae589 - Finally! Can we go out dancing soon??
02:37 PM on 02/03/2012
Although the author seems to have some level of awareness deeper than main article would lead one to believe, I find it unfortunate that so many posters of this ilk seem to posit the LBGT community as a jaunty feather in their diversity cap. As flattering as it may be to be referred to as gorgeous or fabulous, characterizations such as those are reductive. Strobe lights illuminate very little about the LBGT experience. I would love to see more of our allies pounding the pavement instead of hoofing it on the dance floor.
12:26 PM on 02/04/2012
I've been thinking about the "pounding the pavement" bit, which I 100% agree with. I haven't been to gay rights rallies, I did vote no on Prop 8. But I think my biggest contribution to supporting gay rights will be my two daughters (7&9). They have examples of three loving, solid gay relationships in our extended family. We've discussed with the injustices the gay community has suffered, including not having the right to marry in many states. We've explained homosexuality is not a choice, it's a person. And the topic is an ongoing conversation.
12:11 PM on 02/03/2012
As a Single Gay Man, I'm reading this and running for the hills. Leave me out of your fantasy for trendy arm candy and bachelorette party booze fests.

We're people too -- not plastic toys. And yes -- *gasp* -- we have names. Even the lesbians.

wtf!
01:32 PM on 02/03/2012
Hi Brian -- I think you partially misunderstood me. I meant to suggest that I was an ignorant young thing. I grew up in a community - unfortunately like many - where being gay was a crime. I was clueless when I went to college. I like to think I'm not clueless anymore. I'm a huge advocate for gay rights. My aunt is gay and finally was able to marry her partner (fortunately before Prop 8 passed - now that's a wtf).

However I can certainly understand why you took issue with me objectifying gay men. But there is some truth to stereotypes. Which is that gay men tend to be (so sue me) gorgeous.
wsdave
Abusive or Insulting? I won't be responding.
07:30 PM on 02/03/2012
"Which is that gay men tend to be (so sue me) gorgeous."

You obviously aren't hanging at the same gay clubs I do. Where I dance, gay men come in all shapes, sizes, and levels of looks, just like everyone else.
11:31 AM on 02/03/2012
You gave me more information than I really needed to know.
01:27 PM on 02/03/2012
TMI is kind of my forte.
10:20 AM on 02/03/2012
She sounds confused.
11:07 AM on 02/03/2012
Hi urface -- I'm confused about what kind of "confused" you're talking about. Specify?
11:17 AM on 02/03/2012
"I enjoy the pleasure of dancing with a gorgeous man guilt-free."

^ this
01:21 PM on 02/03/2012
I am confused about that sentence too. It implies that in other situations(like if the hot guy were straight) you would feel guilt. Why? Does your dance partner being attracted to your gender mean you have to sleep with him?
Justin Werner
"And so it will make us mad."
03:58 AM on 02/03/2012
Good for ya. Congratulations on leaving "the debutante" behind and joining real people: it's often awkward to be real, but it's generally worth it :-)
10:44 AM on 02/03/2012
Hi Justin -- debutantes can be so boring. xo
09:31 PM on 02/02/2012
Do you specialize in 'trite'?
06:02 PM on 02/02/2012
A little advice for straight women in gay bars:

1) Go with a gay male friend and not with a bunch of other straight women. As a guy (and a gay guy at that) I would not go to a lesbian bar without a lesbian friend. This way you are more of a guest than a gate-crasher.

2) Do not make yourself the center of attention. The gay guys are there mostly to meet other gay guys and/or relax with friends (gay or straight, male or female).

3) Tip your bartenders a dollar a drink. This is normal behavior in a gay bar. I don't know about straight bars.

4) And above all, do NOT have your bachelorette party in a gay bar in a state that does not permit same-sex marriage. It's really unpleasant to watch complete strangers take advantage of one of our venues to celebrate something we are not allowed to partake in. It's really disrespectful.

Other than that, have fun.
02:27 AM on 02/03/2012
Hi Sionnachair -- yes, I suppose I'm turning gay men into art and not fully taking into account that they're not there to provide me with my "moment." But I feel about you guys the way some people feel a bit about Angie and Brad - that you are these witty, charming gorgeous larger than life creatures I adore and yes, lust after. A safe lust as it's only going one direction. thanks for all the tips. I needed them.
Justin Werner
"And so it will make us mad."
04:07 AM on 02/03/2012
The fact that you can even recognize "they're not there to provide me with my 'moment'" makes it sound to me like you have basic respect for the guys and you're just out to party. Good for you, and thanks for being conscious of *our* needs.

For many of us, these places are a refuge where we don't have to pretend to be something we're not - we'll leave the discussion of posers out of that :-), and it is easy to resent it when someone doesn't respect the space we make for ourselves.

I haven't been a regular bar-goer for almost 20 years, but I remember vividly the relief of stepping through a door into a world where I could be my gay self.
11:24 AM on 02/03/2012
Love it, straight forward and simple.... I wish everyone was like this.