The day was perfect for boogie boarding at the beach. The tubes were hollow, the pits weren't dropping, there weren't any bombs to pound you and you could even catch air on some radical ramps, Bro.
But there Clare stood at the shoreline, her 8-year-old arms crossed in front of her, a scowl on her face, her feet dug in as I tried to tempt her into the waves with a brand-new Wham-O Morrey Woody 41.5 boogie board.
Dude, even Spicoli, a dyed-in-the-wool shortboarder, would've ridden it.
Clare was having none of it. She was afraid of the ocean. Period. The end.
According to family lore, my mom threw me on her back when I was a wee toddler and dove through waves with me at Hendry's beach in Santa Barbara. I'd identified myself as a sea nymph; body surfing, boogie boarding and scuba diving all over the world ever since.
No child of mine was going to be afraid of the ocean!
And especially not in front of my two best friends whose same-aged daughters were out in the surf having a blast.
I forced my kid into the ocean. Pulling her by the wrist.
Wasn't that the right thing to do? The only way to rid yourself of a fear is to walk through it, right?
I was sure that once Clare rode her first wave in, she'd be addicted to the ocean. I'd have to pry her out of it with a crowbar.
I managed to get her into hip-deep water. Made her get on the board and pushed her into the first good wave. It was the perfect wave. Not too big, not too small, she was off!
She rode that wave all the way in to shore. When she got off the board she pumped her fists in the air victoriously, grinned broadly at me and later told me, "Mom, you were right. I just needed to do it to get over my fear. You are the best mom ever."
Only that's not what happened.
Clare did ride that wave into shore, but she got off the board crying and furious and didn't come anywhere near the ocean for two years.
The '70s called me that night to ask for their parenting techniques back. And every time we went to the beach after that was a nightmare. Clare just sat on the beach getting sunburned and wanting to go home.
But my friends, there would be redemption. Oh yes, redemption was nigh.
A couple of years ago my bada** friend (who always gets me in trouble), call-name Tango 5/6, and my very own mother coaxed Clare back into the waves.
Without my intervention she learned how to swim in the ocean and how to dive through waves. A few months ago, she got her first taste of boogie boarding, pushing her own bad self into the waves.
I stayed back. I didn't comment positively or negatively, because anything I might say would not be welcome. I'd made a bad parenting snafu, crossed a boundary and had to really mind my P's & Q's.
But my personal redemption came this week during our vacation in Newport Beach.
For the first time since the debacle, I donned my rash guard and entered the ocean with Clare. My two best friends were with us at the beach once more and wouldn't swim in the ocean, just not their thing.
I had my own boogie board and Clare had discovered a surf board in a closet at the house we'd rented and was diligently trying to learn how to surf.
She tried over and over and over again, never giving up. Her passion and sheer tenacity blew me away. And I had nothing to do with it.
As I paddled out on our second to last day, I watched my daughter stand up for the first time on her board and ride that wave in.
When she got off the board, she pumped her fists in the air victoriously and grinned broadly at me.
Later that night, after we'd washed 10 pounds of sand out of our hair and slathered our sunburned faces and bodies with Aloe Vera, she snuggled against me as we watched TV and said, "You're the Fun Mommy on this vacation."
Screw a Nobel Peace prize, I'm the Fun Mommy. And hopefully forgiven.
Have you made any bad parenting moves you regret? How did you get past them? Inquiring minds want to know. Keep in touch with me on Facebook, Twitter and Subscribing to my Questionable Parenting.
BADASSES
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.