If a feminist worries over her worry lines, frets over getting fat, or lusts after lipstick ... but there's no one around to witness it, can she still call herself a feminist?
They're questions we all ponder at one time or another, I suppose. Is buying Spanx buying into an oppressive ideal? Does dabbling in fillers make one a tool of the patriarchy? Does plunking down your VISA at the MAC counter mean you've forfeited your feminist card? Who among us hasn't felt that guilt, that shame, keeping your head down while silently praying no one spots you -- enlightened, intelligent, feminist you -- shelling out way too much money for two ounces of eye cream? Who hasn't wondered: Are vanity and empowerment mutually exclusive?
Sure, maybe we can coast through a couple of decades, smug in our certainty that we'd never stoop so low. And yet. Once we start to age, once it's our forehead that's lined, our jawline that's softened, the tug-of-war becomes urgent. As Anna Holmes, founder of the pop-feminist website Jezebel, wrote in the Washington Post:
'Wow. You're really looking older,' says the voice in my head as I peer into the bathroom mirror. Then another, this one louder and more judgmental: 'Who are you that you care?'Who am I indeed. The fact that I can be so profoundly unsettled by the appearance of a few wrinkles on my forehead doesn't say much of anything good about my sense of self as a whole. In the same way that I'm sort of horrified at the increasingly unrecognizable face that stares back at me in the mirror, I'm equally unsettled that I'm horrified at all.
While my fear of needles (and, well, poison) precludes me from even considering Botox, I have no problem admitting that some of the hairs on my head have gone rogue (by which I mean gray) -- and that I pay someone good money to make it look otherwise. I happily incur the expense of continued education, and of shoes. I giggle, and I engage in heated intellectual debates. I spend time pondering the meaning of life -- and the size of my pores. I proudly call myself a feminist, and, yes, I shave my legs. What box do I fit into?
Perhaps the goal is not to worry so much over what one decision means for the label we've happily slapped upon ourselves, but to realize that a label is only part of the story. Maybe the goal is to forego the labels altogether, to open our minds, broaden our thinking, be a little more forgiving of ourselves, a little more accepting of each other -- and do something a little more productive with all that reclaimed time and brainspace. Or perhaps the goal is simply to remember to think outside the box.
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wouldn't just being who you are, what you are, what you feel like being ... be ok ? without carrying the world's burden on your shoulders....
Why yes, I *am* fat. And ugly. (But heterosexual. I don't *completely* fit the stereotype.) But the point is, I should not have to look like a Barbie doll to be considered fully human. And who the hell are you to dictate what "attractive" is, anyway? You *must* wear makeup, you *must* wear high heels, and you *must* never age to be attractive? Really? (Go look up some photos of actress Elisabeth Sladen from her later years, for crying out loud.)
I suppose you could do all that primping and be a feminist, but (1) if you insist on chasing after guys who will only date a woman who does those things, and, (2) if you have to ask yourself whether it's feminist, do you really need to ask?
Why isn't being clean and neatly groomed good enough for us? It's good enough for men.
Not to mention what some of those "beauty products" do to the human body. Yeah, there are natural alternatives... and they're pricey. We already get paid less than guys do. This is just one more idiotic thing chipping away at our long-term security.
Some thoughts... do with them what you will.
Letting the way you look, especially regarding aging, get you down is foolish. But simply caring about it is not.
I don't see this as a form of weakness, I don't know why women would either.
And someone has to explain to me about enhancing your appearance for yourself. What does that mean? Appearance by it's definition is what you present to the world, not yourself. So how can you be doing it for yourself?
Maybe on a talk show where they refer to us as "femi-nazis"?
I am not spewing the party line so now I am one of them.
Pretty women have advantages in society. It's their right to use them.
as templinkyle87 pointed out previously, there is a clear definition of feminism, and it has nothing to do with clothing, grooming or medical procedures.
"Wolf also posited the idea of an "iron-maiden," an intrinsically unattainable standard of beauty that is then used to punish women physically and psychologically for their failure to achieve and conform to it. Wolf criticized the fashion and beauty industries as exploitative of women, but claimed the beauty myth extended into all areas of human functioning. "
"Wolf argued that women were under assault by the "beauty myth" in five areas: work, religion, sex, violence, and hunger. Ultimately, Wolf argued for a relaxation of normative standards of beauty."
"Gloria Steinem wrote, "The Beauty Myth is a smart, angry, insightful book, and a clarion call to freedom. Every woman should read it.""
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beauty_Myth
Opposition to women trying to look good for men is very much a feminist thing.
But by all means- anyone desiring a deeper comprehension of these issues should certainly click Ed's link and check out the Beauty Myth. It's actually a decent 101. Thank, Ed!