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Barbara & Shannon Kelley

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Pick a You, Any You: The Emotional Cost of Living Online

Posted: 09/18/11 09:42 AM ET

Be authentic. What does that even mean, anyway? Not a whole hell of a lot, according to Stephanie Rosenbloom in last Sunday's New York Times. The word, she says, has been watered down to the point of meaninglessness, like so many white wine spritzers. Everyone from Anderson Cooper to Sarah Ferguson to Katie Couric to Michelle Bachmann to the Pope have claimed the descriptor, generally while in the service of selling themselves.

And, as Rosenbloom's piece points out and as we've written before, celebrities aren't entirely to blame for our culture of faux-thenticity. We're complicit in it, too. Think about your Facebook profile -- and now imagine what it would look like if it were truly authentic. Take mine, for example: instead of that cute profile pic of me smiling broadly in New Orleans alongside a status update alluding to a highbrow day of writing, my pic might show me sitting at my computer, in the chair I've spent so much time in, I've literally worn the finish off of it. And if I were to be authentic about it, today's status update -- rather than being glamorous, pithy, or intelligent -- might read: Unshowered. Writer's block. Dining on a spoonful of peanut butter.

Writing in the New York Times Magazine, Peggy Orenstein once confessed that, while spending some glorious time with her little girl listening to E.B. White reading Trumpet of the Swan, a nasty thought intruded: How will I tweet this? She admits that the tweet she decided on ("Listening to E.B. White's Trumpet of the Swan with Daisy. Slow and sweet.") was "not really about my own impressions. It was about how I imagined -- and wanted -- others to react to them."

Marketing folks might say we're branding ourselves in our profile pictures, our status updates, our tweets. We say that maybe we're feeding the iconic self, the self-image we've constructed, which, in ways big and small, is the face of our great expectations. It's us and not us, the version of ourselves we want to be, the version we think most likely to win approval. And in a culture that raises women to be pleasers, we are all about approval.

Technology raises the stakes for the iconic self. As it invites us to reveal ourselves to the world, also presents an opportunity to edit the image we project just a little more. It not only creates more work and more anxiety about what that perfect image should look like, but it also creates something else to feel guilty about. As Orenstein's reflection suggests, constructing that persona -- the inauthenticity (read: dishonesty) of it -- doesn't tend to feel good.

So why do we keep playing this game? Where did we become convinced that the faux is any more acceptable than the real? And why do we so readily buy into the idea that the images everyone else is presenting are any more real than our own? Why is it so hard to embrace the idea that, to varying degrees, we're all a little messy?

Amid all of this image-building, online and off, we lose something. Look around, and you'll notice that our performances are remarkably similar. Someone asks how you're doing; you say fine. You ask her; she says fine. Fine, then! We worry what other people think (though we'd never admit it), and, of course, we want to be happy, confident, competent, and successful. So we pretend we are. And, compounding the issue is the fact that the happy, confident, competent, successful self is the self everyone else shows to us, too, which compels us to keep our dirty little secret under even deeper wraps. If she (and she and she) has it together, what the hell is the matter with me???

It's the open secret Rumi wrote about (and to which Elizabeth Lesser makes beautiful reference here), yet, centuries later, we still feel compelled to keep. And that's understandable. Who wants to admit to being afraid, uncertain, overwhelmed, clumsy, neurotic, or prone to saying the wrong thing? The thing is, though, all of those things are part of the human condition-and those things and the good things aren't mutually exclusive. And so why should claiming them be a negative? On the contrary: I think there's a promise of something pretty awesome that comes when we're able to own it all. The sky doesn't fall, but the blinders do.

And then what might we see? Well, for one thing, maybe a willingness to own our complex, dualistic, not always delightful but utterly human nature can make our choices a little bit clearer. With no one to impress, no images to uphold, we've got a lot less to factor in. There's a freedom there. And power, too: because when we are willing to come out of the I'm Fine! closet, our friends might join us. And that, I bet, would make for one hell of a party.

 
 
 

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04:18 AM on 09/20/2011
You are who you pretend to be.
09:44 PM on 09/19/2011
Everything you do online is in memory somewhere. Everything from FACEBOOK and EBay to credit card numbers, personal blog imformation, paying your bills on line and archive research is in memory. I'm sure "Big Brother" has accumulated and knows more about YOU, than you know about yourself.
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Found guilty of Witchcraft, through Witch-hunt
10:06 PM on 09/19/2011
Time for your medication. "Big Brother" has much better things to do than follow you, me, or anyone else on the internet.
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french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
05:25 AM on 09/20/2011
Big Brother would die of boredom in that case ...
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
08:58 AM on 09/20/2011
It's not all even being stored, much less all analyzed at some later date.
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Sistagirl Young
09:35 PM on 09/19/2011
My goodness gracious. She must be a mind reader. Probably the best blog I've read since I've been on line. Honesty. Scares the heck out of folk. Being seen as we really are. A young Brotha told me I didn't look 62. Well I couldn't argue with that;could I Sistas? Then it occured to me I didn't look like "he" thought someone 62 looked. While I was flattered,I sometimes look in the mirror and ask myself do I look 62. Well, like I said Iam 62 so this must be it. But then there's that vanity and I say no. How old I feel I look has no specific number. I just say Iook good for my age. I had lunch with a friend and told him suppose they wanted proof that I was a Senior. Excluding the gray hair, saggin' jowls and missin' teeth(ugly sounding isn't it). He told me he didn't think they were gonna "card" me. I laughed. Had too. It is what it is. Unfortunately. But hey it's me and quite as it's kept. Grayin' hair , saggin' jowls and missin' teeth? I love me the hell out of some me. Y'all should feel the same way about you too. Life.
08:39 PM on 09/19/2011
I have to add: I did try at one point to keep a FB account with virtual friends. A sort of 'secret-double-life' as my husband used to say. With a 'handle'/moniker like we use here at HP. I thought it would be good conversation and a place like this where I would never post pics of my kids, so I could freely friend anyone I thought might be interesting, talk about politics, current events whatever, but it didn't work out for me. Some of them DID post pics of their kids and talk about very intimate details, so I found again, I had to set the security very high and was not free to friend anyone and everyone, and yet I was not REALLY friends with these virtual or "invisible playmates". Political discussion was like talking in an echo chamber, no dissenting opinions..... It wasn't for me.
I find HP does just find if I want to get opinions or info on current events from a broad range of people I don't know.
08:25 PM on 09/19/2011
I like Facebook. ONLY 'friend' family and friends from real life because we use it to send pictures and videos and stay in touch. I don't friend people I may barely remember from kindergarten. We are expats and have people that ere close friends now scattered all over the world. If I want a serious conversation I'll call them on the phone, or sometimes my sisters and I will do the private message back and forth, there is just no need to broadcast some things to everyone. I wouldn't do that in real life either.
My sister just posted a vid of her son making a touchdown in his peewee football game. I could see him dancing and jumping up and down in joy, and hear my sister squealing with delight. Made me feel very close to them, even being thousands of miles away.
Also, as I said below, I do now find myself carrying my camera when I go on a hike to get a photo of some cool scene, bird's nest, or giant spider web on the trail, to share with these friends and family; which I wouldn't have bothered with before FB. I'm kind of artsy, so I enjoy doing this. Knowing I can share it somehow spurs me on. It's been a plus, a lot of fun.
I can't see the point of tweeting though.
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riverdaughte3
Mother, Minister, Life Coach, Relationship Counsel
07:09 PM on 09/19/2011
Great article. I wish all my clients would read this.
06:34 PM on 09/19/2011
This article really hit home for me. After spending nearly a decade working in politics, where I was particularly sensitive about how words and brands impact perception, I decided to switch gears and become a writer. One of the most difficult parts of the transition has been learning not to self-censor my writing. There are still days when I find myself writing with an imaginary voter in mind and not being as honest about the ups and downs of life as my readers deserve.

On the other hand, once I acknowledged the challenge and worked to move past it with a more authentic voice, I found readers were much more supportive of the flawed, pajama-wearing, struggling writer that I really am. Read more about my transition and struggle here: www.elizabethfarrar.com
05:25 PM on 09/19/2011
Don't live on-line.

Assume that everything you post will be shared with your spouse/SO as well as with current and prospective employers - and may be taken out of context.

Also assume that information on-line lives forever. Your kids and grandkids may find it. Assume they will.
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englishman545
English Born, Brooklyn Raised
07:28 PM on 09/19/2011
Don't forget Government agencies.
08:06 PM on 09/19/2011
Of course. If you ever apply for a security clearance, everything will be looked at. If the government gets interested for other reasons, everything will be looked at. It is likely that if you apply for a position as a teacher, policeman, or whatever, everything will be looked at. If you run for public office, everything will be looked at and misrepresented publicly.
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Sistagirl Young
09:45 PM on 09/19/2011
Howdy englishman545; Screw them. Anything I want to say I say. Good bad or indifferent. If they really want to know somethin' about me, Let them knock on the door and ask. I can't hide from GOD. Screw man or woman. Apologies to my Sistas 'cause sometime we have a tendency to take things the wrong way. But that's it and that's that.
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Found guilty of Witchcraft, through Witch-hunt
10:10 PM on 09/19/2011
No one should live in fear of what people will think of their online text. I certainly don't.

If someone draws conclusions on a person based on internet postings they are just parading themselves around as an avatar of shallowness, poor one-sided judgement, and stupidity.

Not someone you would really want to interact with in the first place.
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englishman545
English Born, Brooklyn Raised
12:51 PM on 09/23/2011
Well said, we deal with a degree of anonymity on line; sometimes our “inner” self can come out and express itself.

I personally don’t take things seriously, really we are dealing with people we don’t know and in some situations are glad that we don’t.
05:24 PM on 09/19/2011
fakebook is for fake people
05:23 PM on 09/19/2011
Go ahead and read my profile, not one thing untrue.
04:40 PM on 09/19/2011
I just read a CareerBuil­der article about how to dress at work, and the article mentioned the importance appearance plays in creating your personal brand, as if we all walk around with little trademark symbols floating over our heads. My personal brand? I'm a regular person, and I'm not trying to package every little aspect of my personalit­y or appearance so I can market it to anyone willing to listen. I'm just trying to live and be the person I am—without constantly thinking about how it's going to look to the outside world. I don't really care what my life looks to people on the outside; I care what it feels like to live it for myself and my family and friends.
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englishman545
English Born, Brooklyn Raised
07:29 PM on 09/19/2011
Just dress propelyl for the interview, your first impression is what gets you in the door.
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Sistagirl Young
09:47 PM on 09/19/2011
Hey katiekins; I heard that. Right on.
03:15 PM on 09/19/2011
Social networking sites are the cyber equivalent to Disneyland's Fantasyland.
12:55 PM on 09/19/2011
Um, rule of thumb for posting anything on the internet: If you wouldn't want your boss to see it, don't post it.

The larger issue with social media is that those website give a (sometimes dangerous) illusion of privacy. Contrary to appearances, Facebook is not somewhere where you want to let it all hang out. Worry about authenticity in your personal relationships, not with people who you never see face-to-face.
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Sistagirl Young
09:52 PM on 09/19/2011
Hi Tristchi; If you never see them face to face what difference does it make? I understand what you're sayin' though. He told me to not FB him but to email him. Being the contrary soul I am I ignored him. He wasn't pleased, Especially when Isaid I like it when he smeared me with chocolate. He didn't but I like messin' with him Life.
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Post31
Good grief!!!
12:51 PM on 09/19/2011
Haha fake people are funny but real people can't get jobs.
12:33 PM on 09/19/2011
I tried to start a blog but ditched it when I found myself in that creepy narcissistic mindset the author described - the one where everything you do gets run by an imaginary blog audience.

I've been in several online communities but all the 'friends' disappeared when the account was deleted while my handful of real life friends remains solid.