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What We Learned From Wienergate

Posted: 06/23/11 10:47 AM ET

In the wake of all the buzz about Weiner's weiner, a certain controversial idea has bubbled up. And it's this: men and women are different. And we're not just talking anatomy.

It's a scary subject, one that leaves most of us -- women especially -- with a twinge of that don't-go-there feeling. After all, less than a generation ago, we were led to believe the only way to succeed in business was to be a man in a skirt, convinced that if we wanted to make our way up the corporate ladder, we had to turn off our feminine sensibility and act like men -- and if we really wanted to succeed, to act like the worst of them. But the chat has started to shift, and for that we have to thank the unfortunately named Anthony Weiner.

Case in point, a piece in last week's New York Times about why women politicians rarely get caught behaving badly:

"The shorthand of it is that women run for office to do something, and men run for office to be somebody," said Debbie Walsh, director of the Center for American Women and Politics at Rutgers University. "Women run because there is some public issue that they care about, some change they want to make, some issue that is a priority for them, and men tend to run for office because they see this as a career path."


Sunday, the Times followed up with a piece in the Style section (curious placement, that) interviewing scholars on why male politicos might be more likely than women to, as the author says, tweet and cheat. One possible answer: there's a correlation between testosterone and risk-taking:

"If you asked one of these guys 'What are the chances of you getting caught?' you would see an underestimation of the risks," [David C. Geary, curators' professor in the department of psychological sciences at the University of Missouri at Columbia] said. "And the severity of the consequences is underestimated." Women, on the other hand, said Dr. Geary, "tend to focus on the potential harm of the consequences."

(Studies about subjects other than sex -- like money -- have also reported a link between testosterone and overconfidence.)

According to [Helen Fisher, the biological anthropologist and a member of the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies in the anthropology department at Rutgers] women have on average more long-range neural connections than most men. As a result, she said, men tend to narrowly focus on the here and now instead of potential long-term consequences.


Disclaimers aside -- talking about gender differences, after all, was formerly a way to keep us in our place -- we've opened the door to a conversation that goes beyond politics. And that's this: Our differences are our strengths. Like we said, it's treacherous territory. Let's go there anyway.

One of the women we interviewed for our book was 80-year-old Judith Rosener, who broke ground in 1990 by publishing a paper in the Harvard Business Review that ignited a firestorm. The title? "Ways Women Lead." Her point is that women bring something different to the table, and those differences have value.

What are they? "Men are linear thinkers; women are holistic thinkers," Rosener told us.

"Men communicate on one level at a time; women communicate on more than one level at a time. Women view power as a means to an end; men view power as an end in itself. Women negotiate in a win-win manner; men negotiate in a win-lose manner. Women are interactive leaders; men are commanding leaders. Women are concerned about process as well as outcomes; men are concerned primarily about outcomes. Women see relationships as an end unto themselves; men see them as a means to an end. Women are sensitive to subliminal cues; men pay little attention. Women are multithinkers and multitaskers and are comfortable with ambiguity."


Which is not to say that men suck. The point is that each gender has different characteristics and that together, the result is often greater than the sum of our respective parts. As it is in the bedroom, so could it be in the boardroom?


If you're the type who needs numbers, check 'em: According one study by to Catalyst, companies with significant numbers of women in management have a much higher return on investment. According to the London Business School, when work teams are equally split between men and women, they are more productive. And according to a study from the Center for Women's Business Research reported in the Washington Post, women-owned businesses generate about $3 trillion in revenue and employ 16 percent of the workforce -- nearly double the number of the 50 biggest companies in the country combined.

Finally, check this month's Harvard Business Review, which suggests that the more gender diversity on your work team, the higher the collective intelligence. As Forbes.com reports:

What is it about women that tends to raise a group's IQ? Not even researchers Wooley and Malone claim to have solved the mysteries of complex group dynamics. But it doesn't take a Ph.D to recognize what multiple studies repeatedly show: women consistently score higher than men on social sensitivity test. Who knows whether it's because we're culturally conditioned differently than men or because of biology and hormones. The bottom line is that women tend to be much better listeners. We're more likely to draw others into conversations. And we're much less likely than men to dominate groups with our opinions.

For decades, ambitious women were advised to observe male behavior for examples of how to succeed and lead in professional arenas. But now we're coming full circle. When it comes to tapping group brainpower -- whether a small work team or a democratic society -- it turns out that behaviors that tend to be intuitive to females -- i.e. Emotional Intelligence - significantly impact the quality of a group's decision-making.

All of which brings to mind a classic line from Joan, Mad Men's brainy bombshell: "You'll never be a man. Be a woman. It's powerful business, done correctly."

 
 
 
In the wake of all the buzz about Weiner's weiner, a certain controversial idea has bubbled up. And it's this: men and women are different. And we're not just talking anatomy. It's a scary subject...
In the wake of all the buzz about Weiner's weiner, a certain controversial idea has bubbled up. And it's this: men and women are different. And we're not just talking anatomy. It's a scary subject...
 
 
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07:54 PM on 06/24/2011
Women in business are horrible. I worked long and hard hours, did everything I was supposed to do before being told to do it. I was always very conscientious of others as well. However, women that congregated in the bathrooms and water fountain to gossip and talk behind other co-workers backs never got into trouble. I on the other hand sat at my desk and worked and never bothered anyone. Women that couldn't work their way out of a wet paper bag got raises and better promotions than me. So, as a result, I am now a happy housewife. It's not my job to earn the income, it is my husbands. So after 18 years of misery, I gave his job back to him. And no, I am not lazy or uneducated. It's just not worth being treated that way anymore.
08:13 PM on 06/24/2011
There are workers who relentlessly do the work and then there are players who play everyone around them. Its important to realize what you do best and not get caught up in the games people play.
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patchinr3
07:32 PM on 06/24/2011
a great bunch of comments
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patchinr3
07:14 PM on 06/24/2011
oh great the comment police again i notice every test or written word was always by a women no men involved therefor i dont believe one word of it its all women what do you expect???
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hemipristis
07:05 PM on 06/24/2011
Been working in industry for 20+ years. Yes, men & women work differently. Both have pluses and minuses. However, one thing is certainly clear: women relish drama while men prefer to just get the g-d thing done.
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JCarter49
09:22 PM on 06/24/2011
I am a woman and I hate drama just as much as you do.

When men have intragender drama, they're debating or engaging in healthy competition. When women have intragender drama, they're being catty and petty.

Stop with the stereotyping.
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bobcatt53
Only Jesus!
06:37 PM on 06/24/2011
I can't believe Debbie Walsh's comment that men run for office as a career path! What a sexist
remark. It's most insulting to insinuate that only women are passionate about changing the world. I
respect Mr. Obama as the country's leader, but also as a man who clearly cares about myriad
social and political issues.
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hemipristis
06:58 PM on 06/24/2011
Remember, it's ok to be sexist if you're a woman. It's part of that wonderful double-standard.
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patchinr3
07:16 PM on 06/24/2011
this is about as biased as all mothers are good mothers by noneother than ( n o w) biased God i guess so!!!
06:30 PM on 06/24/2011
In my opinion I am tired of the whole man vs woman/woman vs man subject. In my experience I have seen many men and women act inappropriately at work and in life. Doesn't matter if it was making incorrect business decisions, not leading associates properly, committing adultry, sexting, whatever it may be. BOTH have done it... As long as people in this country keep making the argument of which gender is better. We will never get over the argument itself... Lastly, I personally think that it is sad that the majority of people in this country do not recognize it.
05:17 PM on 06/24/2011
The debate of women in the workplace has become utterly rediculous. It's perposterous to suggest that either males or females are characteristiclly better at a particular task than the other may be. Some of the numbers may favor one sex over the other, (More women are attending and graduating colledge than men, women get higer returns out of investments, ect.) but the fact of the matter is many of these studies focus soley on the business world while they turn a blind eye to production, conservation, exploration, scientific research and even entertianment for that matter. What are the numbers there, and in the end do they really matter? Seriously, when are we all going to stop playing this huge, elaborate game of 'Anything you can do I can do better?' I do believe that it is important to see the strengths and weaknesses of each sex, but we shouldn't be so quick to say that either are truly dominant of a particular trait or set of abilities. Integrity and will to succed are traits unique to the experince of the individual, as are our personal strengths and weaknesses. In conclusion, it's simply not fair to say one sex is better than the other, much in the same way it's not morally correct to claim one race is just plain better than another.
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JCarter49
09:24 PM on 06/24/2011
But my friend, there are still a lot of sexist men in the workplace who hold the top power positions. Read the complaint in Dukes v. Walmart for an example of this. That's why people do these studies, to change hearts and minds about the abilities of women. Plenty of people aren't sexist and they don't need to hear this. But there are still a lot of people to persuade.
01:13 PM on 06/26/2011
That was already dismissed. There was not a Walmart corporate directive to put women down

It seems to me that women complain not about being discriminated, but about not getting promotions given to men because women are convinced that they are better than men, thus it is unjust that men get those promotions. There must be something wrong, they think, since they consider themselves better than men.
04:49 PM on 06/24/2011
I would have paid more attention to this article that these chicks wrote if they took their tops off...
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patchinr3
07:19 PM on 06/24/2011
thats probably the one thing they are better at than men
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360Dunk
Feeder of slot machines
04:11 PM on 06/24/2011
I remember the days when women stayed in the cave and cleaned the sheepskin while we were out looking to club something for dinner. Is there a chance we can progress back to our Neanderthal ways and put an end to this 'women in the workforce' phenomena?
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Hypocrites are Watching
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
09:41 AM on 06/24/2011
Throughout MY life I have seen men and women at different stages of relationships and different types of relationships. Male-female, female-female and male-male. Having said that I have seen the level and quality of happiness within these relationships. The level of happiness in the M-F relationship is ….moderate to good. The relationship happiness level for the F-F is low and the M-M is good to high. It’s just my observation but when I have seen same sex relationships of 2 women they never seem happy yet almost all the M-M relationships are very happy. like I said this is just MHO. NOT science so don’t lynch me.
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doophis
Idiota Maximus
09:39 AM on 06/24/2011
In short, when it comes to the interests of the testosterone-driven male ego, we fellas have blind spots not shared by women.
11:50 AM on 06/24/2011
Keep drinking the sexist koolaid, bud.
01:15 PM on 06/26/2011
I think he was being sarcastic
09:34 AM on 06/24/2011
Yes. Women, as a group, are as concerned with process as much as product, and often see them as inseparable.

What I've found is that in the workplace, women often are less comfortable just "winging it" than men. I've also found that often, male leaders will forge ahead, operating on near-pure bravado, over-promise and over-commit, and then leave it to the competent hard-working underlings, often women, to do the work and make it actually happen.

The television show "The Good Wife" often features that scenario...
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hemipristis
07:01 PM on 06/24/2011
se.x.ist much? If I were to post that I see women as generally incapable of making a decision sans four meetings and a group hug session, I'd be condemned. But it's plain okey dokey to stereotype the male.
08:55 AM on 06/27/2011
And ANOTHER male tendency...to which of course there are notable exceptions----is instead of sticking to the topic and presenting points and arguments in a linear, logical fashion, when they feel trumped, they resort to derailing and distraction tactics.

But you know what, hemi? Viva la difference. What we need is for individuals with both styles to work together and use each others' talents in a more balanced fashion. Right now, as it has been for most of human history, the balance is way to the male side.

Have you considered that perhaps if we'd had more women in higher places, this country might not presently be enmeshed in economic depression, simultaneously entangled in 3 (5 by some counts) foreign wars, and merrily fiddling while the entire planet heats up?

Sexist? No, I'm just a realist. I prefer to face reality instead of pretend it's different.
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patchinr3
07:22 PM on 06/24/2011
got to be a women commentator
08:45 AM on 06/27/2011
"Luziannagirl"

Ya' think?!!!!
09:34 AM on 06/24/2011
I deplore commonly accepted perceptions of women, the obese, men , races etc. which disputes their individual characteristics. For example we have heard over time how women could multitask and now we are told multitasking is not very efficient. does this mean women are inefficient. The truth is flexibility whether by females or males, clear analysis, of the situation, and a real desire to accomplish the mission or goal by the person performing the task are the most essential ingredients of success. I am a left handed man. I watch the generalizations run the gamut from this is a serious brain disorder to left handed men can exercise better executive abilitiy. I do not understand why when the talk is about racial differences that rule that there are more differences within than between (sexes). I find most of these articles damaging to cooperation between men and women, women and women, and men and men. But do not get mad at me, I am one of those guys whose brains are wired backward right, or is that wrong- how confusing?
01:17 PM on 06/26/2011
You are not going along with the program, you should align yourself with the author's point of view
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Bikada
09:33 AM on 06/24/2011
Micro lenders tend to lend to women because they will use the money to benefit the family and community while men use the money to benefit themselves. It was mostly men who led our country into financial ruin.
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hemipristis
07:02 PM on 06/24/2011
I see this article has brought out the NOW harridans in force... You typed only two sentences, but managed to insert pages of inaccuracy, sweeping generalizations, and se.x.ist stereotypes. Way to go!
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patchinr3
07:26 PM on 06/24/2011
i guess you have never been to a department store go sometime and see whos spending all the money clue #1 it aint men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
09:19 AM on 06/24/2011
Man bashing I should say.

We should try not to generalize too much now.

Men and Women more multifaceted than that. Behavior typing based on anatomy is never a good because inevitably it turns into sexism one way or another. And Racism.