Well, it certainly seems like it. According to Pamela Paul's piece in Sunday's New York Times,
Mother's little helper of the new millennium may in fact be the sleeping pill -- a prescription not likely to inspire a jaunty pop song anytime soon. Nearly 3 in 10 American women fess up to using some kind of sleep aid at least a few nights a week, according to "Women and Sleep," a 2007 study by the National Sleep Foundation, a nonprofit research group.
Sleep-medicine practices are overwhelmingly dominated by female patients. Dr. Nancy Collop, director of the Emory Sleep Center in Atlanta, said three out of four insomnia patients at the clinic are women ...In the 'Women and Sleep' study, 80 percent of women reported being just too stressed or worried to turn out the proverbial lights.
According to IMS Health, a health care consulting firm in Danbury, Conn., the use of prescription sleep aids among women peaks from 40 to 59. Last year, the firm said, 15,473,000 American women between those ages got a prescription to help them sleep, nearly twice the number of men in that age group.Those figures do not include those who are prescribed anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medications, frequently used off-label for insomnia. Nor do they include women who zone out with a glass of wine.
Well, I'd guess there are more than a couple factors at play: It's personal, and it's political. Women hold ourselves to high standards -- we internalize the messages that bombard us from all directions, from the media to our mothers. We want to be perfect: perfect employees, perfect partners, perfect moms, perfect friends, perfect looking, perfect yogis, chefs, decorators, you name it. We were weaned on the messages that we could have it all and that we could do anything -- and so we fill our days with our valiant attempts to do it all, running at full speed ahead, from this to that and back again, so adrenalized that the only way to unwind, it seems, is to dive into a bottle, whether of pills or Pinot.
But it's not only our tough inner critic that's to blame. The fact is, the modern workplace -- of which women are now the majority -- is still set up as though the workers who fill it were Don Draper clones, men with a full-time Betty at home, able to take care of all of the stuff that keeps a life running smoothly. But the ladies (and gentlemen) of today don't have a Betty. So we do our best Don -- and then we make the time to get Betty's job done, too. We work our full day -- and then we fold the clothes. And do the grocery shopping. And pick up the dry cleaning. And attempt to cook healthy items (or contend with the parking lot at our favorite take-out joint), to exercise, to socialize, to sleep. To quote Germaine Greer:
When we talk about women having it all, what they really have all of is the work.
So, what to do? Being a little easier on ourselves would certainly be a start. Asking for help might be another. And then: start thinking bigger, recognize the deeper truths for the eye-openers that they are. The world has changed, but the workplace and expectations haven't. So maybe what we really need to be thinking about is what we can do to change that.
Just, hopefully, not at 3am.
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Rubin Naiman, Ph.D.: 10 Ways We Manage Sleeplessness That Make it Worse
Bingo. But here's my observation: the quest for perfection is often less about our own standards and more about what other people will say if we're not "perfect". I think women, in general, care way too much about the "mommy mafia", the approval of their children's teachers, and living up to a false ideal perpetuated by the media. (See Judith Warner's book "Perfect Madness".)
And in the case of the workplace, women really are held to a higher standard, so it's not surprising their perfectionist tendencies are on full display.
Sleep, or the lack thereof, is inversely proportional to the amount of responsibility a woman takes on. I find I sleep like a baby when I'm on vacation without my kids, but it usually takes me a couple of days to relax enough to do it.
Men aren't crippled by insecurity and anxiety that runs around inside their mind all day like a hamster on a wheel?
"According to sociologist Allan G. Johnson, "misogyny is a cultural attitude of hatred for females because they are female... "[Misogyny] is a central part of sexist prejudice and ideology and, as such, is an important basis for the oppression of females in male-dominated societies. Misogyny is manifested in many different ways, from jokes to pornography to violence to the self-contempt women may be taught to feel for their own bodies."
and before you jump in and argue about misandry or hatred of men...
"Michael Flood, an Australian sociologist at the University of Wollongong, has argued that "misandry lacks the systemic, transhistoric, institutionalized, and legislated antipathy of misogyny."
Women, I'd like to ask you to relax, but I've learned that we have very different perceptions of this. Just try and take it easy! Life happens, but chores can wait (sometimes).
So is your point that men sleep better because they DON'T hold themselves to a high standard and they're content to just mail it in as parents, husbands and employees? Really? You don't think men stress about being a better provider, a better dad, a better partner, getting more done at work, advancing in their careers, taking care of the house and the yard, being financially ready for retirement, paying for kids' college educations, sharing in daily chores and errands, worrying about their heart, head, prostate and creaky joints... not to mention their fantasy football lineups?
If you feel that women's minds are racing with all these concerns and that interferes with sleep, I get that. But let's not suggest that guys don't share these same anxieties. Men, in general, may be able to focus their energies more on these things when the sun is up and let them go a little more easily at night, but rest assured, the concerns are still there.
Part of the problem why women face more sleep disorders is actually hormonal. The closer they get to menopause, the less restful, restorative sleep they experience. Then during menopause, a good night's sleep becomes even harder to find.