Marriage is hard. Ok, so that may be a bit of an understatement. Marriage is a lot of hard work, but there is not a better feeling then being in a great marriage. Yes, you heard right, marriage can be great! I know this because I am blessed to be in one. Don't get me wrong, after nineteen years of marriage, we've done our share of hard work. And some of that work was a bitch and we even came very close to separation a time or two. Thanks to some wisdom from counselors and both of us really giving it our all, we made it!
At a time when divorce is so common and accepted, working through and actually coming out better than before, is a proud accomplishment. It's too easy to just give up and move on. Making the big life decision to commit to marriage is huge and should not be taken lightly. Just as huge that decision is - getting a divorce is even more so, in fact it is enormous. It's important that you give plenty of effort in trying to make a marriage work. All efforts should be made to restore the relationship you had that made you want to marry this person in the first place.*
I personally believe in counseling and am not ashamed to work on my marriage or myself. In addition to counseling there are a plethora of resources available from books, podcasts, Bible studies, mentors, and music. Yes, you heard right, music. Here is my list of top ten marriage/relationship lessons we can learn from popular songs...
1."Like I May Lose You" by John Legend and Meghan Trainor.
Face it - if you don't put in the effort, you may lose someone that you once loved enough to marry.
2."Cheerleader" by Omi.
We all need a cheerleader. It's just as important to have someone that believes in us, as it is for us to believe in them.
3."Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon.
Yes, stop talking and have some fun. Maybe some dirty dancing moves, maybe some slow romantic moves, or whatever gets your heart racing.
4."Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift.
We often make things worse than they really are. Some things are simply not worth breaking a marriage up for. Just shake off the little things. It's really not that big of a deal if the cap is off the toothpaste!
5."Worth It" by Fifth Harmony.
Your relationship is worth it to put the effort in to repair what has been broken.
6."Fight Song" by Rachel Patten.
Fight for your marriage - fight to NOT be a statistic (you've heard it and it's true - more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce). Beat the odds!
7."Take Your Time" by Sam Hunt.
Your marriage most likely didn't fall apart over night. Take the time needed to heal and spend quality time with your partner working on making it better than ever.
8."Stay With Me" by Sam Smith.
It's pretty simple - just stay. You cannot fix it if you aren't there working on the problems that divided you two in the first place. Stay and work it out.
9."Love Yourself" by Justin Beiber.
If you can't love yourself it's really hard to love anyone else. Work on yourself so that you are healthy enough (emotionally) to work on your relationship.
10."Stand By You" by Rachel Platten.
Be willing to walk through hell for your partner - to save your marriage. Look your partner in the eye and say: "I will stand by you"! (and mean it)!
So dust off your boom box, reactivate that iTunes account or however you get your music, and put the effort in saving your marriage!
*(Caveat.... if you are in a dangerous or abusive situation, please know that I am not suggesting you stick around and try to work that out. I would strongly urge you to seek help from a local shelter or law enforcement.)