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The New Testament of Sarah Palin: Spring 2010

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Writing is hard. I struggle. Being a mom is hard. It's worth the hard work. Being a wife is hard. I wasn't good at it. Being a governor is hard. I've seen few really good at it. Campaigning is hard. As good as you can strategize and frame your message; sometimes you still don't get elected.

Just how competent is Sarah Palin? She hasn't been able to juggle everything to date...and now a new "ball" is up in the air.

Harper Collins just signed the Governor of Alaska to a book deal. In a time tight budgets and economic chaos, they managed to find a great sum to trade for the memoirs of a girl from Wasilla, Alaska. The book is due next spring. It was reported she was getting an $11 million advance. She denied the amount. It flies in the face of having a legal defense fund.

That's fantastic! Great! Get a laptop and a bottle of Adderall...you'll be fine. If you get stuck...well, make it up. It's worked so far.

The governor said about her new book, "There have been so many things written and said through mainstream media that have not been accurate, and it will be nice through an unfiltered forum to get to speak truthfully about who we are and what we stand for and what Alaska is all about." Who is "WE?" How in the ham and cheese can Sarah Palin know what "Alaska is all about?" No one can sum this place up; that's what I love about it. We are too mavericky to have one voice define us.

Palin added, "The idea is to focus on the content of the book and what's coming in terms of me being able to tell my story unrestrained and unfiltered." Well, that's precious! The idea of being governor, traveling around, and making promises for votes, is to FOCUS on the State you were elected to represent.

"It will be nice to put my journalism degree to work on this and get to tell my story, Alaska's story. There have been so many unauthorized books and publications that have spoken to somebody else's opinion of who I am, what my family represents and what Alaska is all about." AGAIN, SARAH, what 41.6% of Alaskans, according to last weeks poll numbers, think Alaska represents, is NOT YOU. Tell your family story, your story, but not ours.

For all the reasons it took her three weeks to sign a bill to support the emergency funding for the Alaska Territorial Guard, Sarah sure found her pen today.

But there is a problem.

Remember all the ethics Palin was touting during her un-holy national tour on the Strait Jacket Express? They include specific statutes:

S 39.52.170. Outside Employment Restricted.
(a) A public employee may not render services to benefit a personal or financial interest or engage in or accept employment outside the agency which the employee serves, if the outside employment or service is incompatible or in conflict with the proper discharge of official duties.
(c) The head of a principal executive department of the state may not accept employment for compensation outside the agency that the executive head serves.

Rest easy, I'm not going to file an ethics complaint over this. The system has been wildly abused, including the one Sarah filed on herself. Ethics are not something you can legislate; either you have them or you don't.

Alaska has a citizen legislature. They are expected to have employment outside of the 90 day session. The governor and her cabinet are considered full time employees. I'm not an attorney, but, after reading the details of the statutes, they seem specific and unambiguous; the governor can't be paid for other employment.

Sarah Palin is living the dream. People want to read about it. Some Alaskans are living a nightmare, and she needs to do her job.

Since the governor's return to Alaska, not much has progressed. Our legislature couldn't even pass the bestiality bill dubbed "Ididadog." Groundhog Day is now Marmot Day. We have a new state dog. Our minimum wage won't be the lowest in the nation. Sarah's pet projects crashed in committee. Her AG and cabinet appointments were rejected by the Republican majority legislature. Some of that I'm good with, I don't want the uterus police in my business or a bigot as Attorney General.

Palin hasn't been able to perform her duties as governor without a book deal. What ever she writes, Rush Limbaugh will consider it a pop-up book. Now that she has a contract, it won't take an ethics board to figure out Alaskans lose again.

Any guesses for a title?