The dog and I woke up this morning to the sound of credit card commercials perking on our alarm-clock-radio.
Finally, there's a card that lets you tap and go so you can speed your purchases! a friendly, young-sounding guy told us at one-minute after the hour.
Finally, there's a way to keep the change on every dollar you spend! another guy said, thirty seconds later.
"Talk about tempting!" I told the dog, as we began to rise and shine. It had years since a man had proposed new forms of credit in my bed. Now, I had two of them.
Those two offers of fast-n-fun finance sounded so fun at first! Flirtational, even.
But they got a whole lot less sexy the closer I looked:
*Forepay = good shopping!
A credit card that let me buy stuff faster sounded like a groovy 21-century idea - until I realized I like to shop slowly.
As someone on a strict discretionary budget, I savor each purchase as a way of making my dollars last longer. My slowpoke approach to spending, gives me a biological as well as psychological benefit, allows me to enjoy that giddy feeling known as "shopper's high" - the modern-day version of hunting and gathering.
Dr. Susan Bookheimer, assistant professor of the Brain Mapping Division and Brain Research Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine, has been quoted in places ranging from ABC.com to the University Daily Kansan.
about the dopamine high brought on by shopping.
A well-deserved dose of shopping dope, like chocolate ice-cream sundae, is a harmless occasional indulgence, I believe, when enjoyed in the context of a balanced, credit-free consumer diet.
But too much speed shopping, it seems to me, could be a dangerous thing. It's too early too tell, but I wouldn't be surprised to see a rise in dopamine-deprived extra-shopping and Consumer Debt, that dangerous STD (Shopping Transmitted Disease) of the wallet.
* A higher-interest, individually-chosen money market fund, to paraphrase Woody Allen, is making money with someone I love.
Having Just Said No to the credit card that would let me spend my money faster, I considered whether the credit card that "rounded up" my purchases to the nearest dollar and put them into a low-interest yield savings account might be a better fit for me.
It seemed like a harmless idea, until I did a little writer's math.
For the sake of simple math, I imagined buying a chocolate sundae with my up-rounding credit card. My imaginary sundae cost $3.51, and put a theoretical 49 cents into my card-related savings account.
In the interest of full financial fantasy, I imagined myself waiting in line to pay for my sundae. As I waited, I saw myself picking up a pack of gum (which I didn't really want), a pen (which I didn't really need) and a magazine (which I didn't really plan to read), all in the name of saving more money.
By the time I reached the cash register, in this exercise, I had spent $11.14 - almost three times what I'd planned to spend - and saved 86 cents for my savings account.
After 20 years of 1% annually compounded interest,* my 86 cents had grown into $1.05 in my theoretical savings account.
But what if I took the $12 I had spent on stuff I didn't need, and invested it in a money market fund earning 5/5% interest? In 20 years, I'd have earned $35 on my own.
My "savings-boosting" credit card, in other words, would have cost me $33.85 on this one tiny transaction alone. Adding injury to interest? My bank - purveyor of my credit card - would be able to use my banked funds to finance loans to consumers like me at bank-friendly rates.
"Of course, past performance is no guarantee of future results," I told the dog. Still, neither of these set-ups seemed set-up well for us.
By then, it was time for us to head to work.
Normally, the dog and I ride the subway into town. But today, in honor of our new, slower financial savvy, I decided we'd pack a lunch and walk over bridge, a savings of $10. I put the $10 into a bucket of small daily savings which I add to my regular IRA contributions at the end of the month.
As the dog and I traveled on, it felt great to be taking another small step forward in dollars, and sense.
What can I say? Wake-up calls come in all different kinds.
Some are commercial, others personal.
The truth is fast in finance doesn't work for me.
The good new is? Slow and steady does.
(*Compound interest calculators abound online. The one I used was here)