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Sharon Salzberg

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Buddhism: Between Overindulgence And Self-Hatred

Posted: 02/24/10 10:16 AM ET

It is said that the Buddha did not inform or instruct others about the dharma, the truth, but rather he proclaimed the truth, or more exactly, he revealed it. We can't give the truth to someone as an object, we can only point to it, inviting inspection. It is in that spirit that we can hear or read a teaching and then look at our own lives, at our own experiences to see whether anything might have been revealed about them.

In the Buddhist texts there are phrases depicting the response of people hearing a teaching: "That which was overturned has been righted, the hidden revealed, the way has been shown to one who was lost, a lamp has been held up in the darkness." In the end, we can't hold on to the teachings as an identity or an object, we cannot become attached to them because in some strange sense there is nothing to claim. There's no commodity we can take with us. There is only our lives, whether we live them wisely or whether we live them in ignorance. And this is everything.

The Buddha said once, "I do not argue with the world. It is the world which argues with me." Many times the Buddha was asked what he thought about a certain teacher, or a certain presentation or doctrine. He would often say things like, "Look to see if the path, if the practice, leads to the complete ending of greed, hatred, and delusion in your lives. And if it does, you can trust it." "Look to see whether it leads to the end of suffering. Look for yourselves." That is our invitation, and our responsibility.

The teachings of the Buddha are talked about as the middle way or the middle path because they avoid two extremes. They avoid the first common extreme of overindulgence or reliance upon intense pleasure for perfect happiness. We live in this world of great promise, where everything seems to offer an unchanging final happiness, if we can only get enough of it. It is very intoxicating. If we get lost in the delusion that somehow some sensual pleasure, seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, thinking, whatever it is, is going to provide a lasting happiness, then we're lost, because as things continually change, we continually suffer.

The other extreme of this reliance, this overindulgence of the senses, is the extreme of self-mortification or self-torment or over-asceticism. In the philosophical systems of India in the time of the Buddha, it was often believed that if the body could be tortured or tormented enough, then somehow the spirit would soar free and the person would be liberated. Nowadays, perhaps we experience some of this in eating disorders, or self-mutilation. But primarily this now manifests in a kind of mental or emotional self-mortification or self-torment, where people seem to believe that if somehow they can condemn themselves enough, or torture themselves enough with-self hatred, that their spirit will soar free and there will be liberation, there will be final and perfect happiness.

It is imperative for us to see beyond this tendency in order to both understand and achieve true spiritual transformation. The Buddha said: "Hatred will never cease by hatred. It will only cease by love. This is an eternal law." This includes the tendency towards self-hatred -- it will never cease by more hatred. Bringing hatred to a hate-filled situation will add hatred. Bringing love will bring love.

The Buddha also said: "You can search the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than yourself. This person is not to be found anywhere." What an incredible statement that is!

So for us the question becomes, can we find that place in the middle of these extremes, neither fruitlessly clinging to transient experiences, nor working from a place of self-hatred? Can we discover a place within of interest, awareness, and love that can motivate our practice? Can we find that very delicate place in the middle of these extremes, and empowered by that, really take a look at our lives? Taking a look at our lives in this way, we can see deeper truths for ourselves. Seeing these deeper truths, we can be liberated from old habits of clinging and condemning and delusion. We can be ready to proclaim, "That which was overturned has been righted, the hidden revealed, the way has been shown to one who was lost, a lamp has been held up in the darkness."

 
 
 

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It is said that the Buddha did not inform or instruct others about the dharma, the truth, but rather he proclaimed the truth, or more exactly, he revealed it. We can't give the truth to someone as an ...
It is said that the Buddha did not inform or instruct others about the dharma, the truth, but rather he proclaimed the truth, or more exactly, he revealed it. We can't give the truth to someone as an ...
 
 
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Elijah A Alexander Jr
Elijah NatureBoy
06:14 PM on 03/02/2010
Jesus also taught the middle path in an different way. He said "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it ". My experiences have taught me that good/evil, love/hate, pretty/ugly, god/devil and all abstract opposites have to be eliminated to find peace and contentment in life.

Many things are in each side of each of those broad opposites, but walking the joining point of them is a narrow and straight place. The edge of a coin is so narrow one must go in only one direction or risk loosing their balance, but either side is broad and, unless at the edge, has plenty room to regain balance. Thus, if we call killing killing and not evil, molestation molesting rather than evil, a rose rose rather than beautiful and the like, we are living in the middle path. So long as we say god or devil, positive or negative concerning any matter we are in the broad way, living in anabstract duality.

Living in abstract duality one seeks to satisfy the physical senses, living the middle path one accepts things and seek their purposes. That is the kingdom of heaven path within or dharma, being aware enough to learn from everything.
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MarsAmbassador
Per angusta ad augusta
03:39 PM on 03/05/2010
Jesus was a love-filled and enlightened man. The Son of God, not so much.
01:35 AM on 03/01/2010
You speak as if self-hatred and overindulgence were not both part of the same mistaken frame.
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MarsAmbassador
Per angusta ad augusta
03:41 PM on 03/05/2010
Yes, but at opposite ends of the spectrum. I have a friend who swings wildly between the two. He drinks, parties, fornicates and sloths his way through most days, but then absolutely LOATHES himself for it as penance and goes way too far in this opposite extreme. The middle way is exactly what he needs to discover.
10:53 AM on 02/26/2010
The man who founded Buddhism set out to understand human suffering - the causes and the cures - established the four noble truths of Buddhism:

Suffering exists.
Suffering is caused.
The way to eliminate suffering is to eliminate the causes.
The way to eliminate the causes of suffering is to follow the eight-fold path, which is:

Wisdom (Right Views, Right Resolution)
Conduct (Right Speech, right Action, Right Livelihood)
Mental Discipline (Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, (Right Concentration)

Notice that there is no mention of supernatural beings or miracles.

Buddhism began as a self-help philosophy that provides a way of life here on earth, not a false hope of everlasting life in a mythical heaven somewhere in the sky.

Then, as with most religions, the followers of Buddhism began expanding the basic teachings and created the various forms of Buddhism that exist today. Thus a relatively simple and easily understood guideline for leading a good, happy life became a religion full of myth and superstition.
06:45 AM on 02/26/2010
being of no formal religion, i find that my most rewarding experiences have come from doing unto others as i want them to do unto me---and then minding my own business-- and listening to nature tell me what works and what doesn't as far as moving thru the world with the least hassle -- a buddhist nun once said to me--" there are many paths up the mountain- but we will all see the moon." -- as long as i don't get the idea i want to own the mountain and sell exclusive views of the moon, i think i'll be all right-- but i won't buy a view from anyone else
08:34 AM on 02/26/2010
Right view samma ditthi...
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Elijah A Alexander Jr
Elijah NatureBoy
06:22 PM on 03/02/2010
All to often we do not recognize some as others. Would a fisherman fishing for the pleasure or material gain enjoy being fished to satisfy another's greed? Would the hunter like to have his head mounted as a trophy as he did the deer? Yet, the fish and deer are others.
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12:43 PM on 02/25/2010
sharon...ty for the blog.
metta,
pema
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terramartom
Grapes of Wrath!
10:08 AM on 02/25/2010
Sadly enough Humanity always gets lost in symbolism and then completely loses the point.
Being good, being compassionate, taking responsibility are choices of Human intent.
Just as being greedy, selfish, and intolerant are Human choices of intent.
These concepts and actions are not religiously owned, they are not from any Corporate cult idealism, or any Human made philosophy.
Our actions come from our survival, our evolution, as Human animals.
Do unto others is not a religious or Spiritual phrase, it is about survival!
We do not need castles to worship in when nature has already provided the greatest platform needed - Nature, that gives life to everything, not some floating cloud man.

Humanity needs to do away with all the props, and theater of religion and Cult worship, and just do the right thing, because it is right!

http://www.richmonk31.blogspot.com
09:42 AM on 02/25/2010
Dear Sharon, Thank you for bringing the teachings of the Buddha to H.P. There are two things about this man's journey and his teachings that rang a bell for me. The first was his reference to a "Path to Enlightenment" that he encouraged all to find for themselves, within themselves. The second was a specific instruction toward the end of his life to NOT turn his teachings into a religion. What I took from that was that he saw that religions were, even then, the works of men and therefore fundimentally flawed. Sadly, history has proven him right, time and again. But, getting back to the "Path", he taught that there are many, at least as many as there are people in the world at any given time. What most people don't understand is that this is an inner path that can be accessed most easily by a quiet conversation with oneself, in other words, meditation. Most good actors will use a similar process to remake themselves so that before the camera, they become that other person. There are not many who can do this well and even fewer who can come out of it unscathed. If you would like to see that in action, watch the TV series, "Inside the Actor's Studio." What I have learned from watching is that the same process can lead me to a deeper understanding of myself, and I must thank both the Buddha and Mr. Lipton for that.
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12:33 PM on 02/25/2010
it doesnt matter where you are, you can learn from it. if your in relgion or out , if your in a grocery store, the top of a mountian... the dharma isnt dependant on outer circumstances. i dont find religion a problem any more than the bank.i see it as you speak about the actors studio, people can elarn if they pay attention.
note... i think its important to consider the cultural circumstances at the time. the buddha thought women didnt have the ability to find enlightenment.
so perhaps he wouldnt speak the same way about religion today.
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07:30 AM on 02/25/2010
" If we get lost in the delusion that somehow some (sensual pleasure), seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, thinking, whatever it is, is going to provide a lasting happiness, then we're lost, because as things continually change, we continually suffer.

"The other extreme of this reliance, this overindulgence of the senses, is the extreme of self-mortification or self-torment or over-asceticism."

Tiger Woods has a SEX problem, and so do too many others who are adicted to SEX without caring about consequences of indiscriminent sexual behavior; it is a character flaw, a sign of a weak, disfunctional character, not very differrent from an adiction to cigarettes.
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GrtPyrmd
07:47 AM on 02/25/2010
I disagree. Tiger Woods' "sex problem" is none of our business. Tiger may be chasing a tiger, but it is his journey to make. He must, in the words of T.S. Eliot, "work out (his) own salvation with diligence." There is nothing intrinsically wrong with sex, even copious coupling. If we act in conscious awareness, and are present in our actions, and our actions are truthful and legal, then there is no "problem." It may lead to disappointment/suffering because of attachment to impermanence, but that is his journey, his karma if you will. Consenting adults can have whatever kind of sex they want, as often as they want, and not have to live in the bondage of an artificially imposed (and I would argue, false) morality. It's all about staying in the now, and living with compassion. the rest is window dressing.
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cavegal
The Revolution Will Not Be Privatized
07:51 AM on 02/25/2010
Fanned. Very well said!
09:35 AM on 02/25/2010
Your use of pop culture "buddhist speak" ignores a fundamental point the Buddha himself made, and does Buddhist morality a disservice. Refraining from sexual misconduct is contained within the eightfold path as part of right action, and the core of refraining from sexual misconduct is NOT HAVING SEX WITH MARRIED PEOPLE! This also clearly includes married people having sex outside of their marriage. Right action with respect to sexual acts means abstaining from actions which create suffering. Clearly Tiger, Tigers' wife, and most likely every member of his family, and potentially his other partners and their families, have all suffered as a result of his actions. In addition, the fact that he stands as an example to people around the world (and he does, regardless of whether you wish to acknowledge that truth) may lead to significantly more suffering, if people follow his lead and interpret his wrong action as a proper course to take within a committed relationship. Tiger took the proper course of action as identified in Buddhism for beginning healing (both to himself, from an individual and karmic perspective, and others) by owning his actions and expressing regret.
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cavegal
The Revolution Will Not Be Privatized
07:49 AM on 02/25/2010
Why is everything all of a sudden about Tiger Woods? Who cares? He has absolutely no influence on my life or yours unless you somehow idolize him.

If Tiger Wood's has a SEX problem, how is it any of your business? The only reason you know about it is because so many people idolize him because he is a sports hero. A sport by the way the bores the wings off of a butterfly if forced to watch a tournament either live or on television.
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GrtPyrmd
10:56 AM on 02/26/2010
I agree except for the bore the wings off a butterfly. Butterflies never get bored. They are true Buddhists.
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Dogma
A sense of humor is no laughing matter.
07:17 AM on 02/25/2010
"because as things continually change, we continually suffer.".
This was an interesting way to explain suffering from grasping. I was anticipating that you were going to say something like "we're lost when we are chasing sensual pleasure because...happiness must come from within". Which of course is true, too.

But that the *things themselves* change as the source of our discontent, is yet another way of looking at it.

All is flux–deal with it!
12:10 PM on 02/25/2010
Exactly, good or bad. This too shall pass.
02:40 AM on 02/25/2010
"You can search the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than yourself. This person is not to be found anywhere." What an incredible statement that is!
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cavegal
The Revolution Will Not Be Privatized
07:52 AM on 02/25/2010
I agree. That one really took heart with me.
01:55 AM on 02/25/2010
I'll call my(?) -- self a "Buddhist Fundamentalist": Buddha the moment after enlightenment but before the formulation of The Four Truths or Eightfold Paths, or the doctrines or rituals or road maps of subsequent followers who called themselves Buddhists (or were appointed as Dalai Lamas). In 1971 there came a moment when I saw that the Self doesn't end at the skin, that I'm the Universe looking at itself, that there is no creator ("creator" and creation being the exact same thing); I "understood" the "meaning" of all the Zen Koans. I'll stop typing because I don't have a point (the "direction" of the universe).
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Arithrianos
reality has already (w)on(e), surrender!
08:58 AM on 02/25/2010
You were typing? i can't even do that, reality keeps getting in the way.
12:17 PM on 02/25/2010
"Reality": An hallucination we all hold in common.
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GrtPyrmd
11:04 AM on 02/26/2010
careful, you're in danger of the exile of enlightenment
01:26 AM on 02/25/2010
Being born and raised in a Buddhist country is so profound: the natives attain a Buddhist tranquility the Buddhist student will never know. The best you can do is move to a Buddhist country, marry a native, bear children, and then bear quiet witness to the beauty of their immersion.
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01:12 AM on 02/25/2010
Buddha has a problem: defining hatred. In fact, crazy democrats have that same problem too. They whine and snivel about hate but by their own standard of it, they are expert haters.

All one has to do is observe how democrats treat Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, or Glenn Beck. By democrats own standard, it is with unmitigated hatred.

They are so virtuous. lol

Hate can be good (this is where it gets tricky). Democrats hated Bush's bad policies (even if they might not have hated him). Most normal people hate to see children sexually abused. Or hate to see people starving.

I hate that. I really do.

God of the bible hates divorce and a lying tongue.

We can understand the hatred of someone who had tortured as a POW. Actually, many can have compassion for a person who harbors this kind of hatred.

Hate is not what democrats make it out to be. It has positive and negative qualities. And democrats twist its meaning to apply only to others and not themselves. Then they clobber people over the head with it.

In truth, hate isn't what democrats say it is unless they are more guilty of hatred than those they accuse.
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cavegal
The Revolution Will Not Be Privatized
02:01 AM on 02/25/2010
And yet here you are admitting that you are filled with hatred, towards Democrats.
12:06 PM on 02/25/2010
Hate NEVER has positive qualities, never. There can be disapproval, so many other things. Hate, and this has been proven over and over, does much more to hurt the person who hates rather than who or what the hate is directed towards. Your thinking is very dangerous.
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KJLSanDiego
01:24 PM on 02/25/2010
great point! I teach at a high school, and have had students ask me if I hate them. I tell them of course not, but I disapprove of and do not appreciate your actions, how you speak to myself and others, and I worry about your personal and professional success if you do not learn how to act and speak more favorably and professionally.
04:49 AM on 02/27/2010
You're right. Hatred is a cancer which eats away at the person who hates. It's also a tremendous waste of time and energy, which are precious.
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LMPE
I connect the most dissimilar things
12:30 AM on 02/25/2010
Buddhism. The religion that Brit Hume encourages Tiger Woods to leave because "he can't get forgiven".
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ProfessorDuh
06:09 AM on 02/25/2010
Britt Hume: The unforgivable advising forgiveness.
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polishlogician
No sugar tonight in my tea..
11:40 PM on 02/24/2010
there is one buddhist exercise that I try and do every morning: when you wake up, while still in bed, stretch and try and get all the little knots and aches out of your body, think about your upcoming day and what you hope to accomplish and then honestly ask yourself, why am I doing this or that, (this is easy to do when you're very relaxed)...continue to think and stretch, articulate your motivation to yourself and then when you get up you're not so sluggish but filled with a reasonable purpose ready to accomplish a few things.

I find that it's a better method than hitting the alarm clock, sighing, groaning, rolling out of bed, head filled with horrid thoughts of what awaits you today.
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cavegal
The Revolution Will Not Be Privatized
02:04 AM on 02/25/2010
I roll around on my big medicine ball stretching while listening to a CD of birds chirping in the rainfall.
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GrtPyrmd
11:05 AM on 02/26/2010
lol