When I did a CD kit called Unplug, a few of my friends chuckled. "You have to plug it in to get directions on how to unplug," one witty pal pointed out. True enough, and perhaps somewhat ironic, but also not a problem.
Sometimes our issue seems to be an excess of technology, but actually it is an excess of distractedness, an inability to settle and simply be. One colleague was once leading stress reduction sessions for someone who complained that he didn't have enough time in the day, that he felt disconnected from his family, and that he was plain stressed out. When asked to describe how he typically spent his time, he described reading an average of four newspapers and watching an average of three television news shows each and every day. My colleague simply suggested a reduction to two newspapers and one television news show, which changed the man's life. He reconnected to his family and became a lot happier. Are we reluctant to step away from what we are used to just because we get used to it, even though it is bringing us more discontent and dissatisfaction than actual joy?
Often when people come on retreat, like the ones we lead at the Insight Meditation Society, it's not grappling with meditation methods or a group of strangers that concerns them most -- it is undertaking silence apart from communicating with a teacher, unplugging from the normal ways we use speech to find distraction from what we are feeling and sensing. People come and express their apprehension about being silent. At times they say something like "My partner thinks I just cannot remain silent for three days or seven days." Once someone came and said, " They are taking a betting pool at my office about how long before I break the silence."
But almost always, at the end of the retreat, silence is one of the components of the experience that people point to as having been the most beautiful. It's as though, for once in our lives, we don't feel compelled to fill the space, but can simply be. We don't need to present ourselves to others as interesting, or funny, or cynical or hopeless -- we can unplug from all of that and connect much more fully with our genuine experience as it actually is.
And that in essence is what unplugging is about -- not shunning our stuff or hating our habits of news consumption or social discourse -- but being willing to experiment with our time and attention, which are the core treasures of our lives. Can we step out of some ruts, and consider times of just being with what is, rather than numbing out or spinning away through needing excess external stimulation?
At times when I am myself sitting at a retreat, and at the end I get into my car to drive away, I watch my hand move forward to turn on the radio. When I can be mindful, I notice the fact that I actually don't want in that moment to listen to the news or hear some music. But because I am no longer on a silent retreat, I suddenly feel like I cannot just quietly drive -- I must completely fill the empty space with some kind of sound. When I see that, I can then bring my hand back to the steering wheel, feel my breath, feel my body, notice where I am. And feel the delight of having stepped away from what I actually didn't want to begin with. That's the great relief of learning how to unplug.
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It really is a lot easier to quiet down when you go into it from there. Acceptance goes a long way.
Our lifestyles are too fast paced and stressful in the west, so much so that we do not pay attention to our 'inner' existence, and our 'space'.
The silent retreats offered at Advent Meditours are set amidst acres of greenery in India and are sanctuaries that help renew and balance the individual's inner wellbeing for the mind, body and soul, and are tailored to the individual.
Visit www.adventmeditours.com, or call 1-617-532-0713 for more information.
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Solution is keeping our mind, body, senses and environment to a silence mode for a while. Choosing a quite lonely place and to be in total silence for 45 minutes will give good results.
Mind wavering with thoughts, body working on something while you are being silent won’t help much. Total relief comes when you give yourself a pause by totally unplugging and switching off yourself completely from everything for a few minutes. And then when you get back to your normal routine you will feel energetic and focused.
I think "solitude" or "private space" might be more valuable than silence per se.
Since science is all about understanding nature and applying her teachings, why not ask her? As a researcher in the fields of anthropology, primatology, and zoopharmacognosy (animal self healing), I find it puzzling that modern humans have chosen a variety of isolated and lonely activities for stress reduction. Mindfulness, meditation, prayer, yoga, etc. are primarily solo practices in that they do not involve physically touching another living human. How sad.
Well, if you look at what nature has planned for stress reduction in primates, examples abound in studies involving hunter-gatherer societies and our closest living genetic relatives, chimps and bonobos.
Stress reduction in nature is all about touch of another living being. In hunter gatherers, hugging, dancing together, and grooming are the way to go. In chimps and bonobos, it is all about grooming each other. Modernly, that might be translated into hugs, hand holding, massage, hair styling, dancing together, and good old lovemaking. Pets often serve as a surrogate for touch, with great results.
Additional information on the intentions of nature, not the medical community, with respect to our health, can be found in "The Wellness Project."
Roy Mankovitz, Director
http://www.MontecitoWellness.com
I look for 30 minutes of absolute quiet in the morning and again at night if only to reflect on the day or meditate. It's ME TIME stress busting. Then there's couple and family stress busting which takes some organizing but when it works, it works well.