Today is Susan Boyle's coming out party. Her debut album, "I Dreamed a Dream," is in stores, she's going to meet America on Monday's "Today Show," and the transformation is now complete. Sharon Osbourne be damned.
After slamming Susan Boyle on the Opie & Anthony Radio Show, queen bitch Sharon Osbourne apologized... sort of. On November 5, Ozzy's old lady called Boyle a "slapped arse" on a radio show with millions of listeners. Five days later, the Osbourne matriarch apologized to her 100,000 Twitter followers. You tell me which statement made the bigger impact. Why is it the insult is always the lead and the apology always buried?
Of course, Sharon Osbourne forgets her own homely days before she could afford hair dye and plastic surgery. No makeover may turn Susan Boyle into a beauty queen, but that misses the point. In the music business, the goal is not to become beautiful; the mission is make yourself into someone different. The history of popular music is littered with men and women who have hired an army of hairstylists, makeup artists, and trainers in order to prepare for the hit parade -- and escape their previous incarnations.
Some end up looking better than before, others look freaky, and for a few like Susan Boyle, things don't change all that much. Still, you can't blame a girl for trying. Let those who have never sat in the stylist's chair cast the first angry Tweet.
Here's my Makeover Hall of Fame:
Michael Jackson
He's the most famous makeover victim of them all. Whatever his reasons -- real and imagined -- for changing his face, Michael Jackson took the makeover to frightening extremes.
Gwen Stefani
No Doubt's lead singer went from Orange County ska-punk queen to femme fatale in a shameless bid to beat Madonna at her own Marilyn Monroe-stealing game.
Kelly Clarkson
The 2002 "American Idol" winner transformed herself from Texas girl-next-door to video vixen.
Madonna
Madonna's entire life has been one reinvention -- each one more dramatic and seemingly desperate than the last. She's the high priestess of the makeover.
Bruce Springsteen
In the '80s, the Boss decided to swing for the stadium fences. He transformed himself from a scrawny Jersey-ite to a buffed-up, bandana-ed working-class hero for the masses.