Tila Tequila's Shot at Fame is No Exercise in Bisexual Education

Tila Tequila's reality dating show on MTV is a fun, fluffy, guilty pleasure type of show. Tila is a hottie and a flirt, and so are many of the contestants. She wowed every single one of the boys and girls and she is undoubtedly beautiful, sexy, charming, poised, spontaneous and entertaining. She doubles as star and host, and is obviously in control. She also has a great speaking voice that is deeper than what you'd expect from her little girl looks and tiny frame.

Because there has been such a dearth of bi people and characters on TV, and because this show has a bisexual star, some people expect this series to show them what bisexual people are all about. It doesn't. Some journalists and talk show hosts have implied that Tila Tequila represents all bisexual people. She doesn't. This show is not an exercise in education about bisexuality, so don't expect to learn much about us from watching it.

As a bisexual woman, I enjoy seeing anything bisexual on TV. But I know who I am and don't need a show to explain it. I have met hundreds of bisexual people and know they run the gamut of professions, colors, religions, ethnic backgrounds, relationship status, financial levels, countries of origin, levels of education, disabilities, numbers of children or child free, fashion sensibilities, interests, hobbies and political opinions.

The only thing about bisexuality this show demonstrates so far, is Tila's ability to find both women and men attractive. Many non-bisexual people (aka "monosexuals") have difficulty understanding how a bisexual person could be attracted to people of more than one gender, because they themselves can't. So they doubt bisexual people exist and think of us as similar to unicorns...a myth. Tila certainly shows that we exist, but what impression of bisexual people does this show give off?

She flirts with almost every boy and girl on the show in the first episode. There were 16 straight guys and 16 lesbians...you do the math. She socialized with each gender separately, so the guys didn't know about the female contestants and the girls never saw the guys. By her own admission, Tila lied to all of them before the show even started taping. The straight guys were led to believe she is straight and the lesbians were told she is gay. Next week, in episode two, they are told the truth and discover they are not only competing against each other but against a whole other gender.

We applaud MTV for being the first to star a bisexual woman on a dating show, and an Asian-American woman at that. Of course we are in favor of having an openly bisexual person on a TV show, but that openness was undercut by lying to participants about Tila's bisexual orientation. Of course, this is the stuff of reality dating shows and more and more often there have been deceptive twists on similar shows. But hearing Tila say she lied to everyone to get them on the show, made me cringe.

The bi community spends much of its time fighting stereotypes and myths that don't accurately reflect who we are. People tend to associate us solely with our sexuality and forget that, like everyone else, we have other aspects to our lives. We fear that this show is more likely to add fuel to the fire of bisexual stereotypes, than to put them out.

I hope that journalists will present this show as what it is: an entertaining, MTV reality dating show that happens to have a bisexual star. Tila Tequila is a shrewd self-promoter. But she is promoting herself, not the bisexual community.

Of course, if anyone gets the impression from watching the show that all bisexual people are hotter and more desirable than everyone else...that part is accurate!

www.biwriters.org

Comments

[considering]

Um, no one *actually* thinks Tila is bi do they?
This is the girl famous for having the most friends on myspace- as if that's a measure of anything of value. This is a woman who knows how to sell. Thats it. She developed a product that would get people to talk about her just like her myspace image and her attempts at music. Tila is every bit as much a product as Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Rumer Willis, and has just just as little to offer by way of talent so she sells sensation.
She is in the most literal sense famous for being famous. The end.
If you want to learn something from Tila (or the "contestants" on her show) learn how to spin gold from thin air.

-On the other hand I have to give credit to MTV for at least recognizing their own cliches by promoting the show with all the men and women proclaiming their love for Tila off the bat and out of nowhere. So at least they understand what they're selling.

[Balzac]

Tila Tequila is amazing. There has never been anyone quite like her before.

[ReasonIsMyReligion]

Now THAT's a shiksa goddess!

[1will]

Pretty girl. They really need to get working on cloning.

[kjacobsmeyer]

I don't think Miss Nguyen (Tequila's given name) represents bisexuals any more than she represents Vietnamese people. You attach shrewdness and intelligence to a girl who supports your agenda, but none of what she does requires any depth of perception. She's merely making money off people who want to see her naked and/or kissing people. That's exploitation, nothing revolutionary. Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis has been setting up videos with girl on girl kissing for years.

I have nothing against bisexuals, but you're going to have to be a little bit more discriminating when it comes to picking your role models in order to convince the rest of us monosexuals that your lifestyle choice is legitimate. But wait, is the bisexual lifestyle discriminating to begin with? Therein lies the problem.

[ZingoBonMot]

Maybe it's like Woody Allen once observed, "Being bisexual doubles your chances of having a date on Saturday night."

[1will]

I don't think she's being exploited. She's cashing in on her assets and if a bunch of horny idiots pay her then all's well.
The Girls Gone Wild creator is exploiting women but they don't seem to care. I doubt any are suprised that they are going to end up in a video after signing a release, being carded and having a camera put in their _____ (you fill in the blank). They get a few beers and a t shirt and he gets a new plane. The girls don't seem to mind.

[blueraven]

Oh, is that ever going to feed the bi stereotype mill. She's a game-player and liar. The people I've had accuse me of that over my sexuality without ever knowing me as a human being have been too many. On the dimly lit bright side, she won't be pulling three-ways for the entertainment of the guys. I hope.

[ZingoBonMot]

This is on MTV? Really?

I would have guessed FOX.