If you've personally experienced a divorce, you know all-too-well the emotional ups and downs you go through on a daily basis. The distinct emotion that encompasses it all? Grief.
We grieve for the loss of our hopes and dreams and for the way we thought our future was going to look. For many of us, however, the reality is that those hopes and dreams were gone long before our divorce, but we chose not to accept it!
If you take an honest look at your life while you were married, can you truly say that your divorce wasn't for the best? This can be even more true if there were children involved. It may feel counterintuitive, especially because of the home you'd hoped to provide for them, but was that hoped-for ideal the actual reality?
Below are questions that may help you on your journey to make peace with your divorce:
•Were you and your ex-spouse fighting more than you were getting along?
•What type of home were you providing for your children?
•Is this an example of a marriage that you would want for your children?
•Can you stand tall knowing you did all you could to make the marriage work?
Sometimes we hold on tightly to a marriage that we know deep within is not working out--out of fear of failure, or simply fear of letting go. Some of us become ugly toward our ex-spouse as a way of remaining relevant in their lives. This is a futile attempt to hold onto something that is going to end, one way or another.
The question is, how much are you going to allow this to take away from who you are, and cause you to become someone you no longer recognize? More importantly, is it worth it?
Letting go of your past is necessary to having a phenomenal future. Your divorce is a loss, but it is also an opportunity to create the life you want for yourself. Don't take it lightly, or wish it away.
Instead, take the time to figure out what makes you happy, where you want to be one, five, or ten years from now. Develop new hopes and dreams. Making plans for your future will help you look forward to it.
There really is life after divorce! It's amazing and waiting for you to come after it.