How do you ever truly thank your mother for the woman you've become? She is the root and you are her branches. She has stood by your side and guided you as you have overcome obstacles, felt your heartbreaks as if they were her own, lifted you when you've fallen, celebrated your accomplishments and glowed with pride as you achieved what she had only hoped and dreamed. This Mother's Day, I'm excited to spread her love by sharing HER stories as part of Huffington Post's #TalkToMe video series.
My mother has accomplished so much in her lifetime, including taking care of four daughters, a husband and a community. When we grew up there was a lot of moving from Baltimore to Texas to San Francisco to Germany, and the only constant was each other. I asked her how she kept us from fighting and being competitive with one another. She said being on the constant move with my father's medical career helped fuel our dependence on one other. "You will never have a better friend than your sister...you will make lots of friends, but your best friends will always be your sisters."
My mother felt very lucky growing up in an Orthodox Jewish family, the middle child between two brothers. Her father studied with her the same amount of time as her brothers and she grew knowing she was expected to excel, expected to be a wife, a mother and an accomplished woman, and at the same time to give back to her community. The only thing she ever felt was missing - was having a sister.
"When I was blessed with four daughters, I thought God answered my prayers," she said, also giving a little credit to my father. They never played favorites. It was whoever was sitting next to them at the time.
"Mothers always want their children to be more than they are," she shared. "With a friend, there's always a tinge of envy, but never with your children. Every mother wants their children to excel her and her grandchildren to excel them and so on through the generations."
My mother encouraged me at every roadblock by reminding me of my strong lineage. Her father's sister who was caught behind the Nazi curtain managed to escape and get out of Russia with a son and a daughter, even though her husband had died from deprivation. Her mother's sister hadn't managed to get herself on a list and couldn't get out of the Soviet Union, and so my father's sister (who had already escaped and was recovering from breast cancer) went back to look for her and bring her out. This history of remarkable women in my family only motivates me to be of more service every day.
I've always said it was an accident that I started The Girls' Lounge, but now I see it wasn't an accident at all. The organization I lead is all about embracing female empowerment and connecting women... it's in my blood. My mother created the first women's conference in the state of California, WAPAC, the US-Israel Action Committee, exclusively for women in the 70s. Neither liberal nor conservative, it was just about getting women involved in the process of government.
When my mother asked a female attendee for a donation of $100, she said they responded they had to go home and ask their husband to write a check. She responded, "Tell me, when you go to Neiman Marcus and buy a pair of shoes, do you ask your husband? You have to make this decision. It shouldn't be about your husband, this should be about you as a woman. Women have to stand up and be counted individually." Boy, does that sound like something I'd say.
Women are the driving force of the family. As she passionately shared, "In the Torah, God said, if you educate a man you educate an individual. If you educate a woman, you educate a family." She felt that way about the PACS, when women got involved, their husbands got involved. When women bought a bond, their husbands bought a bond.
My mother recruited businesswomen - doctors, judges, lawyers, teachers, Silicon Valley executives. She valued her relationships in the community, and from an early age, I saw how important it was to have friends, and to continually make them throughout life and circumstance.
She also launched a huge Governor's conference which 4000 women attended in its first year in Long Beach. "By the 8th year, it was sold out every year, and we had over 10,000 women. You couldn't get a seat. We had Marcia Clark the year she was the prosecutor, Betty Ford... We put women's issues on the forefront... It was like Woodstock for Women." Oh mom, how I wish I could have been there.
So many of my friends want my mom to be THEIR mom. And I feel their admiration in my heart. If I could be one tenth of the woman my mom is I will be a very lucky mother myself.
I asked her, "What advice would you give to me as a working mom, a working woman, someone who has empowered women in the workplace and wants to continue to do so?"
Without a moment's hesitation, she wisely shared, "Always be true to yourself. Never give up your basic worth of who you are."
This lesson applies to every facet - personal, professional, intimate relationships, and in situations where ethics are questioned... everything.
Thank you mom, I have stayed true and kept this close to my heart. On Mother's Day, remember to ask your mom about the incredible stories she holds, and remember to share them forward.