If Nurses Could Talk To You Like They Talk To Their Kids
Disclaimer! I am a labor and delivery nurse. I'm just kidding around... kind of. Like, 90 percent kidding, 10 percent not. Well, maybe 80/20. Just remember, if we didn't joke around sometimes, we'd be miserable!
Registered nurse behind the blog Adventures of a Labor Nurse: the Highs and Lows of Labor and Delivery
Registered nurse behind the blog Adventures of a Labor Nurse: the Highs and Lows of Labor and Delivery
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
Disclaimer! I am a labor and delivery nurse. I'm just kidding around... kind of. Like, 90 percent kidding, 10 percent not. Well, maybe 80/20. Just remember, if we didn't joke around sometimes, we'd be miserable!
Do I look like your servant? The.answer.is.no. I'll be happy to get you everything you need and everything to make you comfortable, but doing some things yourself is part of the we're-getting-you-back-to-normal plan.
Advertisement
Suck it up. Not all the time, but sometimes, you just got to suck it up. You don't like swallowing pills? Um...sorry. This is how grown-ups do it ☹
Take out the trash. It never ceases to amaze me how much trash is left lying around one room. Throw that junk away!
Advertisement
Look at me when I'm talking to you. FFS, pay attention! Put down your cell phone. Lower the t.v. Make some eye contact with me so I know there's a light on in there. Forget understanding what I'm saying---my first goal is for you to hear me.
Pain doesn't last forever. No matter how bad your pain is right now, remember that pain will not last forever. On a side note, I hope you don't have to die to get relief, but in the meantime, just concentrate on the positive and hopefully knowing that it won't last forever will help you out.
Advertisement
Stop whining. The mashed potatoes don't taste good? You should try the carrots ☹ And p.s. the cafeteria isn't open at night for staff, so night nurses only have the option to eat sandwiches leftover from the day. Those mashed potatoes aren't looking so bad right about now...
Tidy your room. Dirty laundry everywhere? There's the clothes hamper. Suitcase lying around? There's the closet. Toiletries by the computer? There's the bathroom.
Get to the point. Granted, some things need a really long explanation. But sometimes I wish people would just come out and say "I prefer dilaudid." Or whatever it is they want to say. Don't expect people to know what you want or what you're thinking. Just tell them, and then you can talk about it.
Remember your manners. Manners go a long way. I'm just saying---even my 2 year old knows how to say 'please'. I'm just saying I want to chuck the pillow at your head when you say "get me another pillow."
Get dressed. You can stay in your hospital gown, but do the rest of the things you normally would. Comb your hair, put on makeup, and brush your teeth. You'd be amazed at how much better you feel when you look like you normally do.
Advertisement
Stop playing with your food and eat it You didn't cook it, and you're not going to clean it, so stop messing about and eat it. And btw, if you don't like it, lie.
Follow directions. I said it every which way I could. If you do this, this, or this, THIS will happen. I made it sound as bad as humanly possible, and you STILL did it! wtf
Appreciate your time with me, because by the time you move out you'll be paying bills and doing your own laundry. Love your nurse ☺ Enough said.
Wash your hands, they're filthy. If you touch something dirty, you need to wash your hands. It sounds simple enough, but you'd be surprised how many people we help back from the bathroom who try to hurry past the sink, like it's the water that's making them sick. The same rule applies if you cough, sneeze, or touch any other bodily fluid...or any other "discreet" body part for that matter.
If momma isn't happy, no one's happy.
If your nurse is happy, they will make you life a living fairy tale. Be sweet to those taking care of you, and you'd be amazed at how sweet they will be right back ☺
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.