A Letter to Two Wives

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Posted May 22, 2008 | 12:55 PM (EST)



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In the 1949 film, A Letter to Three Wives, three women receive letters from an unseen character telling them that she, their friend, Addie Ross, had run off with one of their husbands. Since the Joseph Mankiewicz film dropped two of the "Five Wives" of the original story on which it was based, I feel free to drop one wife more for the purposes of this post. The letter I write below is to Michelle Obama, and to Cindy Hensley McCain, and I'm not the kind of guy to run off with either of your husbands. No Addie Ross me. But one of you will discover what it is to be deeply disappointed and sadly surprised this year, when your beloved spouse loses the big one and disappoints your hopes for him, and yourself. Both of you are strong defenders of your husbands, while being women of accomplishment. But only one of you has come under attack of the main stream press, and that says something about America today that's worth exploring.

Dear Cindy and Michelle. If you don't mind we'll start with you Cindy, after all, you are accustomed to having pride of place at any gathering. Cindy, it is hard for me to find fault with a woman who devoted her early years to treatment of children with severe disabilities, one who founded the American Voluntary Medical team to provide MASH style care to disaster areas, and personally participated in fifty five of their missions, without a blonde hair, or a remark out of place. You are Mother Theresa in an Armani suit. You are undoubtedly kind and deeply charitable. And real lucky. For eight years you have been the chair of your late father's beer business Hensley & Co, earning for yourself some four hundred thousand dollars a year. Your good works go on and on from Operation Smile to CARE to an organization that removes land mines in Cambodia. And you have learned to smile your way through some abusive language that your salt of the earth husband has aimed at you - sober. Ah, Cindy, if that was all.

Twenty years ago Cindy, you became addicted to pain killers, a slave to Vicodin and Percocet after spinal surgeries, and some say to ease the emotional pain of being caught up in your husband's influence peddling corruption during the Keating Loan scandals, where you conveniently lost the records that might have more deeply incriminated your husband, and even yourself. Then you started stealing drugs from your own charitable medical facility. When that was discovered, an intervention took place and you escaped imprisonment when the Drug Enforcement Administration limited your punishment to a fine and forced you to take part in a "program.' Again, rehab to the rescue of the super-rich. In other words, your punishment was brought down to the level of attending traffic school after running a stop sign, a school run by Mickey the clown. Imagine your fate if you were not a billionairess, if you were instead a poor black woman, an addicted hospital nurse caught stealing drugs. Ten years in the slammer, your kids taken from you and placed in foster care. Some might say it was your second major act of theft, because while your husband was still married you became his girlfriend, leading to his divorce from the woman who had waited out his years of POW incarceration. But nobody batted an eye in your world of Desperate but Affluent Housewives. That's the way it is there. You were Cindy Hensley McCain, so instead of the big house you may be going to the White House. In recent years this domicile has been the home of others from the Bush crime family, so the way has been prepared for your arrival.

Listen up, Michelle, this is about you too. As the wife of Barack, the Democratic Candidate, you were quoted as saying "And let me tell you something: For the first time in my adult lifetime I am really proud of my country," and you, Cindy, piped up with "I am proud of my country. I don't know about you -- if you heard those words earlier - I am very proud of my country. " Then you, Cindy, went on to steal some recipes and claim them as your own on the Food Network, a small but significant symbol of recidivism, today it's pot-roast, tomorrow pot. Putting your life of grand and petty larceny aside - forgetting all recipes and husband jumping - you should be proud of your country. Born into billions, with something that approaches beauty (if beauty be defined as a middle aged Barbie) you have had the best that this country could offer in opportunities for the Town and Country life. And you were able to cap it off by playing Lady Bountiful to the unwashed, downtrodden millions, and still keep your appointment with your hairdresser. Cindy, you come from the world of charity balls and big check writing - one that gives the giver a sense of moral superiority but frowns on government programs which should rightfully provide dignity, work, educational opportunity, and health care to the many. You are the poster girl for a generosity which masks the essential selfishness of the Republican ethos. No, I don't disrespect generosity - but I do question its value when it is only palliative, when it fails to address the real problems that the poor face on a daily basis in our country and through the world.

Now to you, Michelle. The fact that you made it to Princeton as an African American, by dint of your hard work and smarts, and that you are a mouthy lawyer, a shoot from the lip kind of woman, does not endear you to the Cindy McCains of the world, and to a lot of Americans. That "let me tell you something" remark was true in all ways, but truth is often an affront to propriety. Why should any African American - no matter how fortunate in being educated by the best schools, take great pride in the history of a country that suffered slavery and Jim Crow for centuries? Until the rise of your husband no black man has been taken seriously as a leader of this country. And in saying what you did you meant to speak of progress and pride. But it came out all wrong and ready to be pounced upon by the O'Reilly-Limbaugh-Colter cabal, the guys and gals who take a truth and put it up before a carnival distorting mirror to mock it. But you have to be smart enough to know that every thought you have does not need to be expressed and that there are the Cindy McCains out there waiting to leap on your remarks as if they were a capsule of Vicodin, and cast doubt upon your love of country. Of course you can love your country and be critical of it. It's the only way to love a country. We all love our kids and we are critical of them, and they matter most in our lives. But you have to put a zipper on the lip on the way to the White House, or you will find that too many gentlemen prefer blondes.

Now who did Addie Ross run off with? Go see the movie - it's a fun film by a great filmmaker, a man who knew something about class in America. You see, class doesn't necessarily come attached to a billion dollars; sometimes it's linked to a sarcastic black woman who didn't run off with another woman's husband, didn't steal drugs, studied to attain dignified work, and knows what's real and what's just the foam from Hensley's beer.

 
 

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The truth of the matter is that there is very little difference between individuals across the political landscape, and little difference between these women. The artificial competition of political parties forces each to draw a line in the sand in defence of her candidate/husband. I heard Cindy called "more exotic" and Michelle "a housewife" in appearance today. It caused me to pause a moment to consider this Princeton and Yale educated attorney referred to in terms that could be considered calculated to insult at worst, and certainly to diminish. I am sure that both women have redeeming quailities and the other truth is I won't be voting for either one or considering either one as I decide which husband will get my vote. Hopefully, both women want what the rest of America wants...the best president that we can elect. In the end that is all that matters!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:18 PM on 05/23/2008

Little difference between these women? Did you read the post AT ALL???

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:34 AM on 05/25/2008

"For example, in 1991 Cindy McCain was visiting Mother Teresa's orphanage in Bangladesh when a dying infant was thrust into her hands. The orphanage could not provide the medical care needed to save her life, so Mrs. McCain brought the child home to America with her. She was met at the airport by her husband, who asked what all this was about.

Mrs. McCain replied that the child desperately needed surgery and years of rehabilitation. "I hope she can stay with us," she told her husband. Mr. McCain agreed. Today that child is their teenage daughter Bridget.

I was aware of this story. What I did not know, and what I learned from Doris, is that there was a second infant Mrs. McCain brought back. She ended up being adopted by a young McCain aide and his wife.

"We were called at midnight by Cindy," Wes Gullett remembers, and "five days later we met our new daughter Nicki at the L.A. airport wearing the only clothing Cindy could find on the trip back, a 7-Up T-shirt she bought in the Bangkok airport." Today, Nicki is a high school sophomore. Mr. Gullett told me, "I never saw a hospital bill" for her care."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120951606847454685.html

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:46 PM on 05/23/2008

I came back to see if, as usual, my comment was censored and not posted and it was. I'll try one more time. An earlier post said that at least Michelle was not a drug addict or she wouldn't be considered First Lady material or something to that effect.

My response was, Well, it's a good thing that it was Barack snorting the coke and smoking the pot then. HuffPost is the problem, not the solution. So typically republican of her to censor.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:04 PM on 05/23/2008

"Why should any African American - no matter how fortunate in being educated by the best schools, take great pride in the history of a country that suffered slavery and Jim Crow for centuries? "

Because that same country rose above all of its present and historical problems to have the first woman and first black legitimate candidates for the presidency. How many other countries of the world have done that?

Be proud of your country. There is none better.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:45 AM on 05/23/2008

You should travel more.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:04 PM on 05/24/2008

Youre right, there is none better. You can be proud of your country and critical of its government. You would think conservatives would understand that.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:01 PM on 05/23/2008

Maybe other countries didn't have to do that, because they never had another race as slaves. Is this a new tought for you ??? Or are you still proud of this part of american history??

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:49 AM on 05/23/2008

Many, if not most cultures have held slaves. Arabs enslaved both Europeans and blacks for centuries in North Africa. (See barbary pirates) Arabs to this day hold huge numbers of black slaves in Sudan.

Lincoln's first general, McClellan, wanted to compromise with the Southern states and let them back in with slavery still legal. Lincoln fired McClellan, and as a result, 600,000 Americans died in the cause to end American slavery. Our bloodiest war by far was the fight to end slavery in America.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:53 PM on 05/23/2008

"Because that same country rose above all of its present and historical problems to have the first woman and first black legitimate candidates for the presidency."

That is EXACTLY what Michelle Obama was referring to when she said she was really proud of her country for the first time in her adult life.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:39 AM on 05/23/2008

Wow. Nailed.....perfectly.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:10 AM on 05/23/2008

Brilliant piece, thanks, Mr. Yellen!
I'm a bitter old white guy who's voting for Obama. As a Vietnam combat vet and war protester after I got out of the army, I don't think McCain's time as a POW qualifies him for anything special. I honor his service and his sacrifice but wonder at the extent of his psychological damage.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:00 AM on 05/23/2008

And only ONE of the two women has stated publicly that she has just now, for the first time, become really proud of America (now that her husband is running for president).

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:48 AM on 05/23/2008

Well Wayne, a quick look at your profile shows that you are a fervent Obama hater, so I'd expect nothing less from you. That said, it would appear that there are a lot of Americans who agree with Mrs. Obama.

I find very little about the Bush era (error?) to be proud of. When he was selected for a second term, I can honestly say that I was ashamed for our country. We had a chance to redeem ourselves and correct the mistake of 2000, but instead we showed the world that we are collectively insane, stupid or both.

There been many things during my life that have made me proud to be an American, but I would be really proud if we could finally get over the hatred and fear that have kept minorities from being truly equal. The treatment of native Americans, blacks, women, gays and other minorities throughout this country's history has been shameful. Absolutely nothing to be proud of. You of all people should be acutely aware of that.

If you would put away your bias for a bit, you would understand exactly what she was really proud of. You don't like Obama. We get it. To take to take her remark and turn it into something she didn't intend doesn't question her integrity, it questions yours.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:48 AM on 05/23/2008

I hate to say it, but as political wives go, you make the case that Bill lucked out.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:53 AM on 05/23/2008

Wow! i learned a lot that i definitey will NEVER hear on the "fair and balanced network"!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:21 AM on 05/23/2008

Awesome, and completely on point!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:15 AM on 05/23/2008

Wow, outstanding piece!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:09 AM on 05/23/2008

"Since the Joseph Mankiewicz film dropped two of the "Five Wives" of the original story on which it was based, I feel free to drop one wife more for the purposes of this post."

In this age of extremely fast journalism, thanks for taking your time to write this piece. Classy.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:48 AM on 05/23/2008

Beautiful piece, Mr. Yellen!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:33 AM on 05/23/2008

Well done!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:52 AM on 05/23/2008

Damn dude your rhetoric is sparking so much i think i could plug my computer into it and keep it running for days

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:40 AM on 05/23/2008

I knew the story of Cindy McCain, just never thought I would see it in print, and hope I don't have to see it again. I understand and appreciate what the writer is doing. But, I agree with Obama, that we should leave the wives out of this. Both parties should respect the spouses, and make sure the media and 527 or whatever they are called does too.

However, I like the fact that the saber has rattled, so that when the RNC think to use Michelle again, they may want to rethink that position.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:06 AM on 05/23/2008

Michelle's problem is that she (like Rev. Wright) believes that America is THE PROBLEM in the world. She "has never been proud of this country in her adult life" (26 years). Anyone who believes what Rev. Wright and Michell Obama spew should be criticized. If she doesn't want to be objectively skewered for her demented beliefs, she can STFU and stop giving speaches.

The good Rev. Wright and the uncovering Black Liberation Theology have awakened patriotic Americans, Barack Obama will not have the privledge of being POTUS.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:05 AM on 05/23/2008

Black Liberation Theology is about overcoming white supremacy and racism. It's not about killing all white people. Cones's point is that African Americans can't serve a god who participates in our degredation and oppression. Rev. Wright and Black Liberation Theology isn't anything white people need to fear.

White Americans are more likely to victimized by other white Americans than they are to be victimized by anyone else.

And seeing that everyone else in the world, 80%, think the US is the greatest threat to global peace, what other nation would you suggest in THE PROBLEM in the world.

Don't get me wrong. India has problems with Pakistan. North Korea has problems with South Korea. China has problems with Tiber. Israel has problems with Syria, Iran to name two. The US has problems with:

Russia
Venezuala
Bolivia
Equador
China
North Korea
Cuba
Iran
Iraq
the UN
OPEC
the climate

The US has wages 2 wars of aggression in the last 7 years, at least one of which is illegal. We help supply militant groups to keep countries whose policies don't make us rich from gaining stability. With only 3% of the world's population, we have more than our share of the world's energy and wealth.

Did I miss anything?

If America isn't THE PROBLEM, who is?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:48 PM on 05/23/2008

The Rev. Wright said "God damn America" and America is a nation that concist of many people from many walks of life. [Not just white Americans] But you FAKE PATRIOTS can't discern this difference. Your quick to point to the Rev. Wright , but Wright did not say God Damn white America...so in what way is that compared to the racist comments of Haggie and Parsely who delibrately singled out a specific cultural group. That group being Jews, Catholics and Muslims.

You fake patriots who claim to love this country are only destroying it with your intolerance and hatred. Which is why many of you can't distinguish between the remarks of Rev. Jerry Farwell [who said "GOD is Daming this nation"] and the hateful statements of Rev. Haggie. I point out Farwell because I don't remember anyone on the RIGHT condeming those statements...Where was the out-rage at his comments.

You Republicans who claim to love God and Country and support family values have been quick to criticize Obama a "christian" who has two kids, is faithful to his wife and represents the American idea of FAMILY VALUES. But John Sidney McCain who left his first wife for a BARBIE DOLL after she waited faithfully during his internment gets a PASS! Republicans attack Michell Obama for making honest heart felt statements in the most vile ways, while overlooking Cindy McCain's many character flaws...WHAT HYPOCRISY!!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:04 AM on 05/23/2008

DerekRC, success should not one blind to the problems in their society. At least that is what we were taught -- "if one is not free then all are not free."

Patriotism is not about silencing dissent. Patriotism is about believing in your country enough to be able to withstand and engage in conversations about who we are, how we got here, and where we are headed -- the good and the bad.

Derek, simple truth is that Black Americans do have a different history in this country, and despite that history we still fought in every war, still fought for freedoms for other nations that we could not enjoy here, and have had our patriotism, intelligence, faith, competence, integrity, work ethic called into question.

I have not always been proud of this country. Getting called the N-word a few too many times does that; being told that your success only came because someone more qualified was denied dies that; having to honor heroes who during their times thought of you as mere property does that; being told to STFU when you try to share your history with others does that, too.

Obama means hope to me, hope to young people I know. It tells them that if he can be president of a country that once held you in chains, then there is nothing you cannot be.

Michelle, Cindy keep talking. America, it is time for us to grow up.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:24 AM on 05/23/2008

Gee, Derek, are you finding it hard to hear criticisms about your nominee's wife, Cindy? THE PROBLEM is with people such as you who distort remarks and try to make political hay out of these distortions. Oh, and it is SPEECHES, not speaches, use spell check next time.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:22 AM on 05/23/2008

This is an awesome piece. Mr. Yellen you are a super writer. And I totally agree with your comments. I am extremely proud of Michelle. She is a wonderful role model.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:41 PM on 05/22/2008


Sherman Yellen....A touch of genius...Please send a copy to the mainstream media. Oh, send a copy to FAUXNEWS Hannity and O'Reilly. Don't forget to cc Cindy and Michelle. Oh, and don't forget that other genius....Keith Olbermann...Really!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:53 AM on 05/23/2008

Did anyone see Cindy McCain's appearance on The Tonight Show? She told the story of how John pursued her when they first met, he even chased her around the table at the cocktail party they were at.

So cute!

Except he was married with children at the time. Married to a woman who stood by him during his 5 years of imprisonment as a POW. And how does he repay that? By openly chasing after another woman in a social setting! Swell guy!

Marriages fail for many reasons, but to go on TV and brag about how a married man chased you around a party and how funny it is, was really tacky.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:58 PM on 05/22/2008

Wow. Can't believe she did that. Classy.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:45 PM on 05/22/2008


Very awesome analysis and fun to read. Would you also write a letter to the 2 husbands, Bill and Barrack?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:21 PM on 05/22/2008

Michelle is a tough talking black lawyer so she gets blasted by the MSM everytime she opens her mouth no matter how honest she may be. Cindy's white and blonde... if she were only 30 years younger and missing, she'd be on fox news 24/7.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:14 PM on 05/22/2008

SO TRUE!!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:35 PM on 05/22/2008

LMAO that you would assert that Cindy's drug problem is over?

Please get real!

ROTFL

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:09 PM on 05/22/2008

Prove it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:03 PM on 05/23/2008