She just let him be a kid.
That's what good mothers do, especially those with little boys who need to run and get dirty and build things.
He needed to ride his bike or his skateboard, needed to build with his dad in their garage and just needed to be a boy.
We buckle them into seat belts and strap on helmets, wrap sharp coffee table corners in bubble wrap and use safety gates to prevent little guys from being hurt on too-steep staircases. We puree homemade baby food, vigilantly prevent choking hazards and sneak into the silent darkness of the nursery at night to watch them simply breathe. We hold little hands as we carefully cross the street, practice calling 911 and use safety scissors. Training wheels on, swim floaties inflated and ready to go.
That's what the good mothers do, after all. We do everything in our power to keep them safe.
She just let him be a kid.
As I sat in my family room that night, the news began to spread through our small town the way modern-day news travels... over Facebook. A comment about a horrible accident, a young boy injured, speculation about who the young boy was, exchanges between young and old trying to figure it all out and finally, the sad news that he did not survive the accident.
And then I saw the message that made my heart sink.
I knew who this boy was, knew his mother. We worked together at the elementary school and she is wonderful.
She always talked about her boys.
She just did what others mothers do every day -- she just let him be a kid.
Just like Anna had done, nearly eight months earlier. A 12-year-old boy, a warm day, a rainstorm. Friends giggling and knocking at the door, eager to get soaked and laugh and just be kids. To tromp in the mud and forget homework and chores for just a bit. Anna nodded to her son and daughter to say they could join their friends and play in the rain. She recalls watching those five soaked, happy kids -- her son Jack still in his school uniform, doing a full spin with a huge smile on his face.
Jack was swept away by the raging water in the usually timid creek.
Of course she let him play in the rain. He was a kid.
How do we do this every day, when there is no guarantee? No promise of a future, or of grandchildren on our laps, no cure for cancer, no special bubble wrap that can protect our children? We let them go each day, like small pieces of our hearts with goals and ambitions and a will all their own.
We pray and we wish and we cross our fingers that they will be OK. Throw a bit of faith or fairy dust into the wind as we shout, "Have a nice day!"
I have wondered this many times over since that night... and since the warm June evening when we all stood and cheered as his mother walked down the aisle amongst the 8th graders to accept her son's diploma... and since the late August afternoon on what would have been his 14th birthday, as I hugged his mom in the memorial garden the volunteers have created for her.
I have become a bit more tolerant of the eye rolls, a bit more relaxed about the have-to-do things. A few more minutes to stay up, an extra hour to browse at the mall, another cookie, maybe a pat on the head as I walk by.
Because life reminded me that we truly don't have unlimited time with our kids.
So I just continue to do what the good mothers do.
Footnote: Anna Whiston-Donaldson has written a memoir about her journey through grief after the loss of her son Jack. The book is entitled Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love and will be released on September 9, 2014.
This piece originally ran on Moonfrye.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.