Valentine's Day can be the most dreaded and lonely day for those who are single. It can be a day that mirrors to you, your stark aloneness and can create a downward negative spiral into your low self-worth, feelings of not being lovable and questioning if you are just a fatally flawed person and doomed to be alone forever. False! Let's pull you out of that delusion and get back into the reality that you being single has more to do with how powerful you are and self-reliant you are than you not being good enough. Not many people are brave enough to face being single so they settle into a miserable life. Be happy this is not you, even if your being single wasn't your choice. It may not have been your choice but it is your reality. If it was your choice, being single is still your reality and so celebrate the benefits.
1. Self-sufficient: Be proud you have created, or are creating, an independent life for yourself that you love or will eventually love. The life you have now has all the opportunity of being amazing and now no one aside from you will get to take credit for building it but you. Take pride that you have created, or are creating, yourself into a person who does not need a relationship to come and rescue you from your life alone. You are your own leader and hero now. Right now is your moment to live your life on your terms. You don't have to explain anything about yourself, your life or your decisions to anyone. Amen!
2. Self-development: Deep down you know love is out there but you have come to realize, or are coming to realize, you are not going to love just anyone because you're lonely. You are going to take this time to develop who you are so you commit to only falling in love again when you feel ready. Poor decisions in partners are made from "lonely." Quality decisions in partners are made from being "ready." Feeling ready means you are secure enough in yourself and in your viability, lovability and your capability to offer a relationship what it would need to have survivability.
3. Courage over fear: Because you have the courage to be alone, or are developing that courage, you are learning or have learned that it is much healthier to be single than to be stuck in a relationship and be miserable. Truth is, it is easier to stay in a relationship and suffer than it is to be brave and face the stark aloneness of being single. Be proud you have chosen, or are choosing, courage over fear and bravery over misery. This time in your life of being single will be temporary so keep up that courage daily.
4. Time to blossom: You have figured out, or now get to figure out, that to find true love, the high quality love your are looking for, that you need your alone time of being single to truly blossom. For the right love to arrive in your life you have to prove to yourself you can thrive on your own. In allowing this process to unfold you will enter your next relationship whole, rather than entering into it needy of someone else to complete you. Your singleness gifts you the time to transform yourself, expand yourself and greatly improve the you that you already are.
5. Self-worth: Being single and experiencing yourself fully in your individuality gifts you the opportunity to learn how to build your own self-worth. You get to learn how to fully take care of loving you. When you are your only love supply you have the opportunity to learn, to not just tolerate, but fully enjoy being in your company as much as being in the company of another without feeling lonely. When you have reached this place, or are working on it, then you have achieved a level of self-worth many never achieve! Remember: You have to love you before you can fully understand and accept another's love for you.
6. Nurture yourself: When you are single you have the chance to be deliberate about your life. You now have the space and time to choose who you want be, wisely, and then take advantage of the opportunity to nurture yourself deliberately. You get to put yourself first and let all others come second. You get to exercise when you want, change your diet to healthier, drink lots of water, and get plenty of rest because there is no one demanding your time or being needy of your energy. These times to be alone in life come and go quickly so take advantage of being single to nurture you.
7. Just Do You: There truly is not a greater time to celebrate and find yourself more deeply than when you are single. Set goals, make a bucket list, start the yoga class you have been putting off, join that group you had always been interested in. This is your time to define and expand who you are. Your time to practice just being "you" without anyone else telling you how and who to be. This is how you create and grow into a healthy you.
Don't fret this Valentine's Day. It's just a day. You are not less if you are alone. In fact, you can create a Valentine's Day date for yourself that requires only your attendance that can be fabulous. It is all in the power of your mindset, your attitude and how you perceive being single. If you are single you are powerful. It takes courage to be alone.
Sherapy Advice: When you are single, the compass you need to get out of feeling alone is to focus deliberately on yourself. You will grow and come out on top.