My name is Sherry Davis. You may know that 19 years ago, I became the first woman Public Address Announcer in a major American sport when I began announcing games for the San Francisco Giants. I held that position for seven years and as a result my picture hangs in the Baseball Hall of Fame.
What you would not know, because I have never publicly admitted it, is that 44 years ago I was stalked and raped by an acquaintance in college and, contrary to Representative Akin's theory on rape and in spite of being frozen in fear, I became pregnant. No one was ever supposed to know -- not family, not friends. In those days, it was understood that this was a disgrace you carried to your grave.
I didn't think I had any choice but to carry the pregnancy to term and give up my baby for adoption. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I didn't keep my son because he would have tied us to my rapist forever, and I was deathly afraid both for myself and for the child.
The term "rape" was never used because at that time if you knew the fellow, you were deemed culpable and you brought shame on yourself and your family. Although he admitted he "forced me," I was still treated as an outcast. I have carried that shame alone and in silence all these years.
Not anymore.
I cannot remain silent as politicians like Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Todd Akin, Tom Smith, Newt Gingrich and really too many others continue to denigrate women affected by violence. The most upsetting moment for me came when PA Senate candidate Tom Smith compared out-of-wedlock pregnancy to rape.
Nothing compares to rape.
The Republican Party does not understand the psychological harm caused by rape. It is a life-changing event. I am haunted by nightmares to this day. The fear lives on in your heart. A woman subjected to sexual violence is already devastated. Add pregnancy to the equation and it is almost unbearable. Her life and her future hang by a delicate thread.
Instead of debating publicly what counts as rape or abuse and what rights survivors should have, every powerful person in this country should be condemning the men who commit that horrifying crime as cowards and criminals.
The language I hear today promotes the same shame that kept me silent for 44 years. That is unacceptable. More than that -- it is unconscionable.
I cannot believe that decades have passed and still the debate continues. Young women in heartbreaking circumstances are still being humiliated and denigrated by politicians. Rape is about power and control. Politicians should use their power fighting to make this world a safer place, not shaming victims of the violence they failed to prevent. Where is their goodness, their humanity? I would find more courage in one word of kindness towards the victims and survivors of violence than all their reckless words combined. I have no time or patience to debate or rank rape.
I wish, with all my heart, that no other woman will have to live in shame and silence like I did.
I will not condemn the choices any woman makes after an experience like mine, but I hope everyone will join me in turning the blame on those, like Paul Ryan and the GOP, who have made it their business to limit those choices and who continue to perpetuate lies about these vulnerable woman. How dare they presume to know the agony any woman goes through in making a choice? It is her choice and hers alone.
It must be understood: Rape is never the fault of the victim. If you are forced to have sex against your will, if your pleas to stop are ignored -- you have been raped. Yes, you may have been too trusting, but the blame lies with the man who betrayed that trust. If you were robbed (and you were), would you blame yourself?
Please join me in sending these women the respect and compassion they deserve. Release them from unwarranted guilt. Let us walk with them, unafraid.
I live in the Caribbean I am also a former victim of child sexual abuse and a victim of rape the shame and guilt one has to live with is debilitating, you smile and people think that you are happy but you are empty and full of pain inside.
You excel to feel accomplished, whole, and accepted while others see a professional individual inside you are broken, fragmented in so many emotional pieces that it takes years to become whole.I am still healing I have broken the code of silence and advocating for children and women in the Caribbean and the world.
"The Inter American and Development Bank (IADB) says the situation of human trafficking in Latin America and the Caribbean is a disturbing one. The Inter American Commission of Women’s Laura Langberg has indicated that Latin America and Africa are the most under-researched and under-funded regions in the world, when it comes to people trafficking. “These regions are particularly problematic because of the five Cs – Corruption, Collusion, Cronyism (Kro-ne-iz-em), Consumers, and Crime: she said"
The callousness of their rhetoric about women and rape is appalling.
Rapist's take a power position over another person (yes I believe men can be raped) I ask that you condemn the men & WOMEN who commit rape-they are cowards and criminals”.
After I knew what happened to me WAS rape! I felt-I- would be causing trouble & be sent to where I was before I was with this adoptive family. AND-My real famioly was tied to another rapist (family). . I never talked about it, it was "normal" to me.
Rape is never the fault of the victim EVER. If you are forced to have sex-even BEFORE you know enough to have the will-your will, if you don’t make pleas to stop because you didn’t know to—you have been raped. Yes you were too trusting & the blame lies with the person who betrayed that trust & stole something from you—because you were definitely robbed & should not EVER blame yourself.
Sherry, come-lets walk-come with sisters and brothers who know your heart. I was raped for over a year at five & six years old--couldn’t become pregnant—didn't know enough to say no--does that mean I wasn’t raped? I think not!
What 'they' are telling us is to shut up and get over it, you knew the guy, so move on.
Rape can be the most life changing event for a woman to endure.
Until the politicians thoroughly hear us and examine the issues of violence, rape, health issues due to violent rape, and if there is a pregnancy, the torn up bodies of the women that have lived through it, they will never know.
Most women I know are still so afraid to identify themselves, vote or go by their own names, it seems monumental. Yet, we must be heard.
What many women don't know, is that most attackers are cowards and are still running or planning their next attack with great stealth. Afterall, to them it is about power and money, at least in my case it was. Total disregard for the human female body, mind and soul.
In speaking out, here, you have given us an opportunity to be heard. I am not afraid any more. I do hope more women come forth and at least post that they are not afraid to stand up for their human rights. You won't find the attackers coming forth, but we may get the attention of the polititians.
For me, it was 1981. No, I didn't get pregnant thanks to BC I had been on from Planned Parenthood. No, I didn't go to the cops. I felt dirty and ashamed. Few people know about this. At the time, I thought it was my fault.
It will never happen again. Guranteed.
We live in culture that teaches our daughters to not get raped rather than our sons to not rape. We live in a culture that teaches women to fear being alone at night, to not wear certain styles of clothing for fear of attracting a rapist, to not drink at a party or flirt with a man because it might invite him to rape us. Never mind the facts. Screw all truth and logic because clearly the victim was begging for it….
No one should stand for this blatant, cruel, and hateful disregard for the bodies and lives of rape victims. The true mark of a civilized society is how it treats the marginalized and abused; therefore, until our society puts an end to our rape culture and stands against the lies that serve only to revictimize the victims, then we cannot reasonably consider ourselves to be civilized.
I am so sorry that you had to live with this, in shame and silence, for so long. I will stand with you, with all of my fellow women, and I will not rest until justice and equality are ours.
I guess it depends on where in our culture you're living, because that simply isn't true.
Perhaps, you are one of the rare people who does not automatically and unconsciously factor in culpability for cause and effect, but I will bet if you spend any time thinking about your past responses, you will find occasions in which you laid some blame on the victim.
I stand in solidarity with you and Ms. Davis.
Mr. Tom Smith of Penn. did not NOT compare rape to out of wedlock sex. For heaven sakes all of these writers get their information from each other. Mr. Smith was asked how he would feel if his daughter got pregnant via rape, because his stance on abortion is that its never acceptable. He then proceeded to tell the story of his daughter getting pregnant unexpectedly out of wedlock, because the story is 'similar' to what was being asked of him- sharing feelings about an unexpected pregnancy. He did use the word 'similar.' But he also said, quote: "Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't rape." He just explained how grateful he was that she chose to save the child, and the whole family is so wonderfully grateful the child is with them today. CHECK THE FACTS. Tom Smith for Senate 2012!!!!! The Democrats try to play God just like the GOP, but the Dems would have more government, more legislation, more violations of peoples autonomy.
My view on it is that unless you are female and have yourself been a victim of sexual assault, you should not get to decide how victims of sexual assault deal with the aftermath of their rape. This includes whether or not they choose to abort their rapist's baby.
'cause he can't do it alone!
A thirty year old genius billionaire "job creator" with a wife & kids would NOT have the right to demand someone against their will incubate a life-saving organ to save his life, no matter how valuable he thinks his life is or how valuable he has proven to society or to his family. He does NOT have the right to claim it's a mere inconvenience or berate you that it's selfish or try to get the law to make you grow it or claim you're a murderer. Sure it sucks he's going to die if you don't do it but he does NOT have the right to forcibly make you take it to term and take on the increased weight, the increased risk of death, the feeling of violation and going into your body and depositing something you did not want INSIDE of it.
F/F