THE BLOG
09/12/2012 02:32 pm ET Updated Nov 12, 2012

Independent Woman

For me, being an independent woman is not about being married or single, having a lot of money or even about status in your career -- it is a state of mind. I feel like I have been an independent woman since I was 3 years old. I have always had a certain outlook on life that has carried me through adulthood and it stays with me to this day. It is what makes me an independent woman.

From when I was a little girl, it was that, "Wonder Woman", "I am Woman, Hear Me Roar" attitude that made me the woman I am. I know that if I want to achieve something, I will. That is not said out of arrogance; it is because I will not give up. If one opportunity ends, I will keep at it until another one presents itself. We, as women, have to believe in ourselves and take ourselves seriously if we want anyone else to take us seriously.

I think that too often, people confuse independence with never asking for help. We aren't born knowing everything. Over the years, to become more independent, I have had to ask for help many times. If you know how to do something and I don't, please teach me. How else will I learn? The next time I won't have to ask. I will be able to make home improvements by myself but I wasn't born with that knowledge. Someone showed me. Once I learned, I never had to ask for help with it again.

Can I ask a man to do it for me? -- Sure. Can I pay someone to do it? -- Yes. I just never wanted to be that dependent on the time or schedule of another human being (regardless of who it is). Besides, why do I need someone else to do for me what I can do for myself? You can sit around waiting for your prince charming to come ride up and save you or you can take the reins of your own white horse!

I didn't want to be held captive to someone else's plans or schedule. When I was young, I would call my friends to go out and they couldn't because they would be sitting around waiting for the superintendent of their building to come and fix something or their boyfriend fix their car. Eventually, I would get so tired of it that I would go over and fix whatever it was and, by the time our boyfriends got home, we went out for a girl's night and left the guys at home together. It wasn't long before this mentality caught on amongst my friends as we got older (and times changed).

The key to becoming an independent woman was gathering as much information as I could about as many things possible. If I didn't know how to do something, I learned. I read a book about it. Someone showed me. I took a class. I wanted to know how to take care of myself. It had nothing to do with men or relationships, it had more to do with pride. I wanted to take pride in myself and feel capable. I wanted to look at what I had just fixed or made and feel good about it. So, I return to my original statement: Independence is a state of mind. It is a feeling of pride and empowerment that no one can take away from me!

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