There's one aspect of the ongoing Tiger Woods drama that I just don't understand. How did he get from Point A, a minor single-vehicle traffic accident; to Point B, an admission of "transgressions" against his family to anyone and everyone in the world with an Internet connection; and now to Point C, a virtual censure from the United States Congress? Now, I've been in car accidents before, some more serious than others (No one has ever been hurt in one of my vehicular transgressions), and like anyone, I've had my difficulties with various significant others. When I spent four months in Washington, I had a lot of fun spending time at the Jefferson Building of the Library of Congress. Never, though, have I had to deal with the synergy of a perfect storm that includes my bad driving, my personal relations with others, and my government, all conspiring to humiliate me. And until Woods made his recent jump from ESPN to TMZ, I never entertained the notion of such a maelstrom, most likely because no one ever should.
On Wednesday, as reported by The Hill, Rep. Joe Baca (D-Calif.) gave up his legislative effort to award Woods a Congressional Gold Medal. "In light of the recent developments surrounding Tiger Woods and his family," the congressman said in a written statement, "I will not pursue legislation awarding him the Congressional Gold Medal this session." More than a decade after Congress embarrassed all of us by grotesquely peering into President Clinton's sex life, the same institution is again making legislative decisions based on presumed fornication. Granted, a decision not to honor Woods with a gold medal is a far different scenario than the impeachment, potential Constitutional crisis, and subsequent trial that Clinton--and the rest of us--had to endure in 1998-99, but it is still a government action (or inaction) predicated solely on whomever a single American citizen is sharing a bed with.
On Thursday, speculation began to swirl that Tiger Woods is, in fact, addicted to sex. A Columbia University psychologist (and the author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship) suggested that an admission of sex addiction could solve some of Woods's problems: "Once you medicalize it, once you call it 'sex addiction,'" says Dr. Judy Kuriansky, "then the guy has an excuse; he gets a pass." Like other famous sex addicts, including actor Michael Douglas, Woods could then seek to rehabilitate himself and transform this whole thing into a Behind the Music-style story of redemption. Yet whether Woods is an addict or not, I'm not buying Dr. Kuriansky's proposal. Society isn't the principal's office, and it neither needs nor deserves a doctor's note for an explanation of a particular member's personal choices. Since issuing his Dec. 2 statement, Woods wisely has maintained radio silence as the shitstorm swirls thicker and nastier around him, refusing to dignify the commentators (admittedly, myself included) and accusers with a response. Woods's silence is all we are owed, and it's all we should get.
The January issue of Golf Digest, which has long since returned from the print shop, will feature Woods and President Barack Obama on its cover. Inside, readers will find "10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger." Unfortunately for the magazine, the feature is two presidents too late. But, then, maybe a decade ago it could have sought "10 tips Clinton Can Take From Jack Nicklaus," and saved us all a whole lot of trouble. Remarking on his fellow pro golfer's situation, Nicklaus said on Thursday that, "It's none of my business."