While they say one should not discuss romance in the workplace, I have found office environments to yield irresistibly good dating advice. Honestly, who would you rather trust: a drunken friend at a bar, a judgmental family member, or a practical colleague who makes decisions based on strategic value hard metrics?
One of my favorite dating tricks came from a previous employer's office manager, a delightful, dashing, and tall man in his 60s who had enough life experience to beat everyone else's naive romantic anecdotes to a pulp. Let's call him Greg.
Greg shared with me a five question test designed to help one determine whether grant a second date with a potential partner. As this advice came to me as I just began dating (I could not be bothered with romance before age 24). As I was overwhelmed by the mountain of judgment calls required, this heuristic proved to be invaluable. Having little use for it myself these days, I would like to share it with you.
Take The Test
After completing your first (in-person) date with a potential match, ask yourself the following questions:
- How excited was I to see this person?
- How much did I enjoy conversation with this person?
- How much did I enjoy any physical contact with this person?*
- How much do I want to see this person again?
- How much do I think this person wants to see me again?
Most of these questions are easy to answer from a gut reaction perspective, which is exactly what is needed. When it comes to first dates, it is best to not overthink things.
*With regard to physical contact, one need not make it to third base to adequately test one's enjoyment. A simple brush of the elbow or handshake can suffice.
Tally Up Your Points
Rather than answer each question in a narrative format, answer it on a 0-10 scale, with 10 accounting for the strongest possible positive feelings.
You may end up with a 5, 6, 2, 3, and 10, for example.
You must then total your answers, ending up with a number (or score, if you will) between zero and 50.
Let the Range Decide
Referring the following ranges, use your first date's score to determine whether or not a second date is in order.
- Don't Even Think About It: 0-10
- Not a Good Match: 11-20
- Only Worth it If You're Desperate (maybe worth a second test): 21-30
- Second Date Worthy: 31-45
- Don't Screw This Up: 45-50
These ranges are somewhat arbitrary, but if you are actively playing the scene (and if you are looking for a truly good match, high throughput screening probably is your best bet), you will end up with quite a few first date scores and will begin to see a regular distribution, which should make it easier for you to know when you have found someone special.
Does It Work?
For someone who has recently started or returned to dating, this test can offer immense comfort. Dating is emotionally taxing and making judgment calls throughout the process is even more so. This test enables one to make a sound judgment call without feeling overwhelmed.
I had a blast toying with Greg's test and found the results to be very helpful as well. As I embarked on a heavy dating campaign, I found most first dates yielded an average score of 16. When I met a man who scored a 42 on a first date, I knew I had something different on my hands- and I was right! I shall be marrying that high-scoring date this summer in Scotland.
But what do you think? Is this test useful or pointless? Is it missing any important criteria? Should some elements be given more emphasis than others? Tell me what you think on Twitter by tweeting your thoughts (or criticisms, funny dating stories, etc.) at @SimoneHCollins.