“That doesn't make it not true. A little blonde girl is kidnapped and it makes every news cover in America and every national news outlet with the parents offering a large reward for information.. A little black girl is kidnapped and it just makes the local news. Just because my child's (if i had one, let's hope not) kidnapping would be huge news doesn't make me okay with how that works.”
“I commend you on getting out and rebuilding your life.
It is clearly SO easy for people who have have been in pain and been uninsured and penniless to judge. You made a mistake, but you learned from it and corrected it. You showed INCREDIBLE courage leaving him and losing everything you had gained in 5 years. Many many women would have just stayed and been unhappy for the rest of their lives instead of being homeless and penniless. However... to leave without asking for anything you owned and giving him everything clearly shows just how desperate you were, but also seems like another huge mistake. I'm sorry that he seems to have won too by breaking you down far enough that you let him take everything just to get away.
You keep that damn frame up as long as you want as long as it reminds you not to make those 2 mistakes ever again.”
“Funny because MOST parents just want their kids to be happy. I shudder to think of the parents that say "stick it out honey for a few more years until you can save up some money to get away". Getting out of a bad relationship where you are miserable takes COURAGE when you give up the house, the cars, all shared belongings. EVERYTHING she worked for for 5 years...gone. What kind of parent says "tough luck. i saw a park bench down the street"?
Hanging up that frame reminds her daily not to make the same mistakes. I would say she has grown up a tremendous amount and thus this affords her the right to be "immature" and throw darts at any inanimate object in her own damn house...”
lolopuffin on Jan 29, 2013 at 15:29:50
“Parents do help their "adult" children with all manner of problems. I certainly do and right now, my retirement is at risk. Here's what I found silly: She calls herself newly independent when in fact, she is dependent, first on her husband and then her parents when she left him. It's with pride that she describes herself as an "independent woman". I don't buy the losing everything she worked for over 5 years. Divorce courts have a fairly standard method of dividing family assets and she also likely was awarded spousal support. Also, returning to her parents for support for two years seems excessive. An independent (without dependency on others to survive) has prepared herself for adult life through education, work and learning to maintain her household. I recommended to my daughters that they do this before even considering marriage. I provided the resources for education and they provided the effort to succeed in school and subsequent jobs. About the dart throwing, she did this for years and the target was her ex, not just any inanimate object. She's the one who decided to marry for a root canal and yet, for years after the divorce, she threw darts at his picture. That's pretty childish because she blames his faults rather than her fraudulent choice to take marriage vows. She needs to own this and put the picture and darts away. There are always bumps in the road and we have helped when they were more than our children could”