“I think after reading this article and reading people's comments that it just reinforces my own beliefs about things. Those are:
* If you are a good parent, your kids are going to be alright. If you care about your kids, you know what a good daycare looks like, you are engaged, and you will see that they get the care they need.
* While it would be great to be a SAHM, again, bottom line: being a good parent is what it is all about. Daycare, nanny, etc., SAHM, while a nanny or SAHM is ideal, being the best parent you can be, being connected, being present and engaged will pave the road in the long run.
The caveat to this being, you have to have a good sense of self, know when you are not being the best parent, know when you need a break, and know how to turn things around for yourself. And be okay with the mistakes you make.
And based on my own experience, my first had a nanny my second is in daycare, I'd choose daycare ASAP - socialization is more important than I ever realized. If you're connected as a parent to your child, your child will be fine.”
mm1970 on Aug 29, 2013 at 15:18:53
“This is a very good point.
My husband and I noticed that in kindergarten and 1st grade, a few of the moms started calling us for play dates with their sons. These were the moms that either do not work or work part time and were able to spend regular time in the classroom volunteering.
So, the moms who volunteer at least weekly like our son enough to have him come over and play (or vice versa). We must be doing something right.”
“Thats interesting. If my son was interested in the series...hmm... interest in books vs. misogyny. Interest in books vs. misogyny. I dunno. I agree with Koji. And I also think it's a chance to talk about misogyny. Part of me wants to say, I haven't read the series. But truth is, I won't in advance. Wherever he feels developmentally ready to explore, that is where we will go, and touch on those sensitive subjects on his level as we go along.”
Gmasters on Oct 26, 2013 at 20:03:31
“There are so many Other good kids books out there to choose from that I think the best way to combat this problem is to just NOT buy the books or check them out at the library.
Or, radical thought, choose some good stories that you have to help the child read but that engage Your mind. Your kid will Love you for spending the time reading the book Together.”
“The need for respect goes both ways. If you are new to getting help, I think there's a tendency to treat them as an equal or defer (if they have lots of experience & you're a first time mom). When you gain confidence in your parenting skills it can be difficult for the caregiver to transition to this change. If they forget who the boss is, and are consistent with this, even with you trying to assert yourself, show them the door, no matter how fantastic they are. Don't ask me how I know this.
For daycare, try to make sure that the child to adult ratio is as low as possible. 3 infants to 1 adult is okay, 2 to 1 is ideal in that case. Make sure that the care is consistent and that it's not rotating staff. And if you are an involved parent and ask questions and your caregiver is defensive or shoots back a lot of questions too, find another place. Those "costs" add up. You shouldn't have to "pay" for being an involved, caring parent.
For a nanny share: If there is a host family, whose house will be the primary care location, it's important that understand that you have a right to be there, to drop by, have time for transitions, etc. If they have a "their house, their rules" policy and are restrictive, run. Again, don't ask me how I know this.”
“I'm speechless. I can't imagine why or how this would happen. But I guess we or the Krim family may never know. My heart goes out to them. I have a 3 year old with another on the way; I cannot even imagine what they are going through. And all I can give are my condolences.”
“I lure my child out with promises of playgrounds and fun because every episode of Thomas I've seen is about how they aren't a team and then in the end the steam engines realize that they have to get along with the diesel engines. I just want to know why don't those steam engines ever try getting along with the diesels and visa versa? When will they ever learn that team work is the answer? Or is this one of the more modern rings of hell?”
“Wow, it's amazing how people interpreted this article. I can see her point about the sleep deprived moms, but I guess I filtered this article automatically through my own POV. Every mom is different. Some like doing the AP thing for as long as possible; the sleep deprivation is a side effect of good mothering, in their opinion, and it makes them happy. If that's you're style and it works for you, great. If it's not, that's fine too. Do what works for you. No article or philosophy is going to judge you if you don't let it :-)
I see this more as, she's telling us about her style, and the reader should look at their own style, consider what she has to say just as much as one would consider AP or any other parent's style, and use what works, and discard what doesn't.”
“I always liked the old school unusual ones like the story of the Donkey Skin, Ricky of the Tuft, the one with the two princesses and one was cursed with whatever came out of her mouth was ugly (literally) and another where whatever came out of her mouth was flowers and beautiful, and the one with the princess who was stuck in the woods and a bird gave her keys to different trees: one had shelter, another had food, etc.”
“Ugh, don't get me started, but the one I get the most is "You are so big!" And then it's followed with: "When are you due?" And when I tell them it's in 3+ months, "How much did your last child weigh?" (people at my work knew that I was pregnant before).
I've thought of different responses to the "you are so big", and the best I can find are:
"Thank you for noticing".
"I bet you say that to all the girls"; and
"It's 2:30" (designed to tell the person that you aren't going to dignify their comment with an answer)”
“I worry about if she does follow through and the deep emotional consequences for her child. I don't think running a company will be her ultimate legacy. I don't think it is any human being's, in the long run. If she follows through, that would be very sad for her child, regardless of the quality or quantity of nannies or family members involved.”
“I'm going to be a mom a second time over soon after I turn 42. Is it selfish? Not in my book. It is self-less, at least in my context. I feel lucky that I'm worthy of being a mother, a good mother, to another human being that I'm bringing into this world. I would have been a terrible mother in my 20's and my 30's weren't so hot, either. While finances are a concern for us, the important thing is that we have the internal tools we need to help our children have enriched lives. Not everyone can say that if they look at themselves closely.
What are the "best years" anyway? To me, my best years are right now, and what I may lack in energy in the coming years I'll make up for in efficiency and experience.”