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Sue99's Comments

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Happiness Tips: 5 Things You Need To Know About Your Pursuit Of Joy

Happiness Tips: 5 Things You Need To Know About Your Pursuit Of Joy

Commented May 29, 2013 at 13:27:19 in Healthy Living

“i' agree, I've been unconsciously screening out any irrelevant news that I feel do not apply to my current stage in life. I watch only the first 15 minutes of Diane Sawyer, I subscribe Youtango but don't always open the headlines, I am aware of weekend events going on but only go to places am really interested, I pick movies with topics that I would like to learn about. The challenge over digital age is you know everything you either want and do not necessarily want to know.. Stick to your own curiosities and believe that your'e on the right path without having to constantly adjust to what the world perceives you should know or experience. Happiness is supposed to be personal..”
Divorce Causes: Does Having Children Put A Strain On Marriage?

Divorce Causes: Does Having Children Put A Strain On Marriage?

Commented Mar 2, 2013 at 13:08:24 in Divorce

“I think there is NO universal rule that raising a child alone causes a divorce. The problem these days women don't even know how to make themselves happy, whining too much but not finding a solution.. How a person like that can make both the child and the man around her happy ? It's true that raising a child causes a strain IF the couple expect things SHOULD be done the same way when they are childless. If she knows she needs to have more energy, she would watch what she eats and perhaps exercise more and take that one hour blogging or online shopping out of daily dos. Is that a sacrifice ? No, if the priority is to transition into the motherhood, one day she'd get back her 100% free time. There are millions of ordinary mothers the rest of the world and the divorce rates are high in USA, when you have a moment ask yourself why ? One thing to start is screening out those talk shows that bring negative energy to your life. No 2, check Huff Post for articles that truly makes you feel good about yourselves. Basically make efforts to tune out any public annoying commentaries and think your family is the best you've ever had. It's a guarantee that a happy home starts with a happy mom.”

RealistBC on Mar 2, 2013 at 15:39:05

“You make more sense than not, so I fave'd you.”

happyclam88 on Mar 2, 2013 at 14:20:16

“How long did it take you to make that journey in from 1948?”

ILoveGreatDanes on Mar 2, 2013 at 14:08:49

“You have as many fans as you deserve.”
huffingtonpost entry

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Divorce: Couple To Split After 5 Years Of Marriage

Commented Jul 1, 2012 at 22:15:56 in Celebrity

“Drama happens when two people JUST use their hearts and not the brains at all. I were a guy, I would understand how mad the situation is for Tom. No, I don't feel sorry for Katie, she's a big girl to marry him or let him to marry her. Unless a guy cheats or beats her with stick, a woman's job is to be a gatekeeper, if isn't sure of a husband, if she's gonna stick to his belief, or one day against it, don't ever bring a child into the world. If she does, she's just a gold-digger, plain and simple..”

Donna Lynn Douglass on Jul 3, 2012 at 12:00:36

“you do sound like a man....Katie is not a gold digger she gave birth to a child that is enough pain for any marriage grow up or change your sex.”

ima062002 on Jul 2, 2012 at 17:57:32

“Gatekeeper LOL? Not equal partner? I didn't know women had a JOB in a marriage. What's the man's job - no, don't tell me, to provide rofl?

So for you there are just two reasons for leaving, beating or cheating. Wow. And you are a gal, at least that's what I think from your username. How about "not supportive", "becoming more religious and forcing those beliefs on the partner and kids" just to name a few?”
Single Women: Can They Really Be Happy?

Single Women: Can They Really Be Happy?

Commented Jun 9, 2012 at 22:34:31 in Women

“I don't know the point of this debate, happiness depends on one's expectation and it means it's personal, no need to agree on what's right or wrong or possible of impossible. A woman who craves for motherhood would see putting hold on her career as happiness of being a mother, nothing's wrong with that. A woman who has such a great social lives, respectful male and female friendships, wouldn't feel anything less than having a sense of satisfaction of being single, nothing's wrong with that. WHY do we have to find ONE truth of what makes a woman happy, from a relationship standpoint alone ??? That's just weird and merely reflects how close minded or how big of approval a woman truly and really needs from a society ?”

Kalasie Jones on Jun 21, 2012 at 20:16:57

“Well said, sue99.”
6 Ways to Recognize And Stop Dating A Narcissist

6 Ways to Recognize And Stop Dating A Narcissist

Commented Feb 28, 2013 at 02:00:59 in Divorce

“Yessss, and leave him when the bed was still hot.. Image his madness bc he thinks so highly about himself..and don't even bother to explain, just go vanishing yourself.”
6 Ways to Recognize And Stop Dating A Narcissist

6 Ways to Recognize And Stop Dating A Narcissist

Commented Feb 28, 2013 at 01:49:50 in Divorce

“I couldn't agree more. It sooo rare to even expect a true friendship without thinking what the other person is after from me, let alone in relationship.. The hight divorce rates prove it all. Selfish people should marry at all, women mostly crave for attentions, very materialistic and whiners. In regards to the article, all the signs are true. N people is zero conscience, zero gentleman (he does only the common, holding the door on the first date, wait until the third, you would even have to ask to walk you down to the car). Other reason is bad childhood, product of broken home, pain of being rejected by someone close (parents) when you're so young is unbelievably unfair and painful and scary, You'd first think they're so weak for fearing intimacy but by understanding the background it takes constant awareness (and probably therapy) for N to be okay that some risks are worth to be taken and the hurt wouldn't feel as hopeless as 5 years old boy. As an adult, he should be able to reason on other people's shoes and still be respectful. When seeing signs no 1,2,3,4, don't ever open a conversation for no 5. If you're a smart woman and in constant check with yourself, it's the sign of exit and don't get stuck in the swamp sign because he's truly just a frog..”
huffingtonpost entry

Being the Breadwinner Is Destroying My Marriage

Commented Sep 29, 2012 at 13:03:08 in Weddings

“The problem is the opposite personalities. The wife is super ambitous (busy enought yet feel obligated to volunteer), instead she can help with the husband's resume. The husband is very laid back, definitly has no guilt not being a breadwinner with role as a husband. Where's the problem ? There is no problem, the wife should keep going to work and be the masculine in the family. The children should know that mommy works because mommy wants to work. So what if the guy is more homebuddy tipe of guy ? Women don't have to keep score to feel as women, in a traditional family. It has started out the opposite and in the middle of journey one wants to change ? the boat has sailed, no pun intended.”

Nicole on Oct 1, 2012 at 07:03:27

“That would be true if her income was enough to sustain the family. But their kitchen is foregoing needed repairs and they have no emergency fund. He is getting money from God knows where and yet won't contribute to the expenses.

It isn't just a lack of cohesive personalities - it is a complete lack of respect for his family and their needs.”

Kirst on Sep 29, 2012 at 17:42:06

“It's not about her being ambitious and hard-working and him being laid-back and a good stay at home dad. It's about his secrecy and dishonesty. Those are the real problems.”
Hilary Swank: How Long Is Too Long?

Hilary Swank: How Long Is Too Long?

Commented Sep 10, 2012 at 22:51:38 in Women

“The question isn't that simple, each relationship has each own dynamics. Ideally in a relationship, honesty is always the best policy, from the start, which probably more straight forward for couples who never got married. Building extended family is a lot more complicated and the risk of getting a second divorce is higher. .At some point, if it's the lack of chemistry, forget the "what if" question, just follow the guts. Don't over compromise, don't marry out of fear, sounds so cliche, but marriage is the world where small mistakes/differences/problems become magnified, in 5, 10 years later. Don't force it to happen because it means you're either too hungry, or being plain stupid.”
A Husband, A House, A Mortgage, A Baby, A Light Bulb Moment

A Husband, A House, A Mortgage, A Baby, A Light Bulb Moment

Commented Sep 8, 2012 at 22:13:51 in Divorce

“The more I read about this article the more confused i got about lessons the writer tried to share "Be yourself, I deserved more and he deserved more ??" Because if there are surveys to ask the real happy couples, i bet they wouldn't even think for a second about who's deserving less and more. I know for sure my parents won't. I guess that selfish people should say it out loud and clear in their vows, "honey, this situation is my limit, if you can't agree or work with me, well i deserve more, bye!". This is a dangerous mindset, a slippery slope, about happiness in a marriage, Women tend to play victims, being dramatic and so the only way out is through divorce and then let's go with what she learnt out of it. If the husband turns out a gay, it is indeed he and she deserve more. America may need starting off a Wife Day..it's a noble job in a marriage.”
A Husband, A House, A Mortgage, A Baby, A Light Bulb Moment

A Husband, A House, A Mortgage, A Baby, A Light Bulb Moment

Commented Sep 5, 2012 at 08:11:49 in Divorce

“Man are designed to hunt (jobs, dates, cars), if they don't, bc of depression, loneliness, self esteem, time consumed with ex and children, DO NOT ever pursue and think personality can change. As horrible as it sounds, men are after pleasure and sex in the beginning, and so keep their behavior on check. As naive as a woman can be, having male siblings helps, building male friendships doesn't hurt to see what the man world really looks like and feel like. Having a father to admire is a must. If there is one missing structure, forget the tickling clocks, it's her job to take time and heal herself before starting out a family. Children out of divorce have more possibility to repeat parents/ history.”
A Husband, A House, A Mortgage, A Baby, A Light Bulb Moment

A Husband, A House, A Mortgage, A Baby, A Light Bulb Moment

Commented Sep 4, 2012 at 00:37:19 in Divorce

“Well said. If I were man, I totally get why it's so scary to marry without being super picky these days..the chase is easy, but at the end it's a lifetime punishment just to be themselves.”
A Husband, A House, A Mortgage, A Baby, A Light Bulb Moment

A Husband, A House, A Mortgage, A Baby, A Light Bulb Moment

Commented Sep 2, 2012 at 16:34:29 in Divorce

“There is this amazing book "Intimacy and Desire" that explores all human behavior that causes problems in marriage. When women marry out of fear, and same with men, marriages will eventually turn into troubles. The book really taught me how to self soothe myself, stay focused on the growth, what i need and how to surround myself with variety (not just one) of people to fulfill those needs. Marriage isn't just about sharing life, needing partners, conquering loneliness. When you know your needs, you can be happy individually or being with a partner. Today's concept of happiness are somewhat misleading if you don't put it on "context". Marriage is a lifetime responsibility, you don't get in and out based on the measure of loneliness. That's childish.”
De-Clutter Your Life!

De-Clutter Your Life!

Commented Aug 14, 2012 at 01:42:21 in Healthy Living

“In most of our lists, we, including myself, are naturally inclined on the wants, instead of on the needs. For over a year, I have stopped any purchase on gadgets, magazines, books, newspapers, CDs, home decorations, stationaries, accessories, appliances. Nada for all those. All I have to get is anything disposable after use. I only purchase few digital magazines and books, I don't upgrade phones, cameras, and no iPad, I stop tons of catalogs subscription. I select few events to go, few courses/trainings/workshops to take, few friends to go out with or just go out by myself. I use what I have purchased, no more stocking stuffs. Living less and small clearly isn't easy to begin with, but the outcome of less but purposeful choice means more focus and quality of life in overall. Less spinning on the head each day means more time to sleep and relax, being active doesn't mean being busy for nothing meaningful. Couldn't agree more with Dr. Taylor.”
Is Being Single Selfish?

Is Being Single Selfish?

Commented Jun 24, 2012 at 23:00:58 in Women

“All, have a vision for yourself. Get any kind of life you'd like, but have a vision, an awesome one. If you're into a marriage, create a vision on the roles you'd like to play, what makes you a great partner, work on your own happiness first, always look ahead. Don't get into a marriage if you still believe it's a 50/50 chance. Marriage means you're committed to yourself to be a lifetime partner. You'd take it because that's the next awesome phase to explore. Be honest to yourself and be forgiving to your partner. Marriage is mostly about forgiveness, To all women, yes you can do it. You need to filter out the noise at times, be around supportive people. The pain in the butt means you're living with someone else. The pain exists when you share and at times it comes with compromises, boundaries but if it feels 80% awesome, then it IS awesome. If you're still single, take it as a chance to work on your dreams, imagination and then create visions for yourself, build your identity, be different but awesome, be all social but within limits, learn a lot about yourself, what truly makes you happy, on your own. the true singleness would never come back again. Life is basically a movement from one phase to another. When you're on the next phase, don't look back, because you know you had truly lived. None of the two sides is comparable, it's just a different phase.”
On Dating: New Rules for an Old Game

On Dating: New Rules for an Old Game

Commented Jun 17, 2012 at 22:31:56 in Women

“The first meet up should test what kind of guy he is, does he just look confident (giving the card) but lack of manner (don't even ask hers). it's up to a woman to give more chance or cut it loose. Women set their standards and also prepared to get home alone than spending time with a jerk (cause at the end of day he won't treat her according to her standards). The chemistry only lasts in that bar, stop rationalizing, because the more you do the more you would corrupt the dating database in your mind. The cost is the next and next guys you'd meet. Stay relax and be confident that you don't spend more time. Life is looooonggg and there are many many guys to meet. Relationship or even friendship doesn't have to be a mind game, he just wanted an instant gratification and so did she.”
Why I Believe Marriage Shouldn't Be Allowed Before Age 25

Why I Believe Marriage Shouldn't Be Allowed Before Age 25

Commented Jun 5, 2012 at 07:14:40 in Divorce

“Some people change, some people don't, and marriage isn't about changing people, The fact is simple, life throws a curveball, the dynamic changed, and you realize you two aren't a good fit UNLESS you do some works, for yourself. Marriage isn't the only tool to bring happiness, it requires sacrifices and abundant spirit of forgiveness. Financially, marriage is about spending money, so don't sweat every pennies like you're single. That being said, at what age, you know for certain you're qualified to get married ? Especially with women with career, do you bring spirit to win (the job, assignment, beat coworker) when you're home ? Can you switch it off ? If you can't, then don't work. If you cannot not working, cannot switch off the winning spirit, then don't get married. Life isn't a pain as long as you're clear on your choices. Age has nothing to do with these.”
Breaking Up: He

Breaking Up: He "Wasn't Sure" About The Relationship -- So Why Did I Stay?

Commented May 29, 2012 at 23:09:05 in Women

“The main lesson is don't make it too easy for a sake of getting the first date. Be picky from now on taking coaches advices (how many times women are told to be aggressive, make a first move? that's just a coach job to earn the pay, make it look the advice worked, it did not and never will) A man should be willingly put in a situation as a man, to trust his own gut and step up to make approach. If the first time he did not, he would never do, and it's getting harder to step up with the sex involved, for you and for him.”
Dating A Divorcé: Is It Better To Couple Up With A Man Who's Already Been Married?

Dating A Divorcé: Is It Better To Couple Up With A Man Who's Already Been Married?

Commented May 12, 2012 at 18:59:14 in Divorce

“Huh ?? Divorced guys are scarred for life, it doesn't seem like that on the surface, but in most cases, they hardly move on. especially when they both live in the same cities. So true about guilt for their kids, which is very understandable. Any women interested to be no 2 in marriages ? Same thing, guys prefer single women, or divorced ones without kids. Not to discriminate, love and attraction are fading once the singles really really feel the baggage.. Please for real single women and men don't sell yourself short, never take lightly about baggage from prior marriages, they'll be yours too forever..”
'The Bachelor': Why I Owe Courtney an Apology

'The Bachelor': Why I Owe Courtney an Apology

Commented Mar 17, 2012 at 23:01:32 in Women

“Sorry, am not sure the purpose of this article, but am pro courtney, the other women are clearly manipulative, don't we recognize how women treat an obviously prettier woman who happens to stand out easily ? They felt less by needing to be a guide for Ben. We all know that even when a guy tries to correct his buddy, he wouldn't do the way all these women did. Courtney has experience in luring a guy, more than the rest, and she wing it. so what? is that illegitimate ? Welcome to a real world!

Regarding the statement "I've put up major defenses and walls", i guess every woman has her own insecurity and if a guy CAN"T feel it and find the way, then he's not meant to be. Woman is encouraged to take actions is wrong, that what makes marriages not as sustainable as our parents, when there was no internet dating, guys were forced to face their fear and step up to engage a conversation, not through e-mail, phone or text, It's getting harder to find guys that are manly men.. It's not women jobs to compromise on early stage of dating because it's impossible to keep pretending, one day those women realize they are too good for their husbands, what a waste of time !!”
How Living Alone Can Be Good For You

How Living Alone Can Be Good For You

Commented Mar 9, 2012 at 23:39:39 in Healthy Living

“In my office, guys always nonstop ask me if am dating or going to date soon. I cmea from Europe and nobody cares with that. Am glad America is coming to embrace or at least giving a nod that some people don't need someone to talk with days and nights. One thing I miss is having someone to pick me up at the airport :), other than that shopping by myself is more efficient (never return items I bought), the same with getting ready in the morning, deciding what to eat etc.. y'all know right ?”
What <i>The Bachelor</i> Says About Women and Modern-Day Relationships

What The Bachelor Says About Women and Modern-Day Relationships

Commented Mar 6, 2012 at 01:01:23 in Entertainment

“Couldn't agree more. I think they are having just crush but also pressured with the deadline to beat other contestants. It'd never be real especially during final 3, the guy says the same BS to all 3 and hoping to make sense when having doubts, No one is gonna be clear headed while having 3 women to kiss at the same time.”
Single Women: More Of Us Than Ever Are Living Single. Here's Why.

Single Women: More Of Us Than Ever Are Living Single. Here's Why.

Commented Feb 21, 2012 at 15:12:21 in Women

“I don't know if the context "to have it all" is to apply for the whole lifetime. I had chance to go overseas for study, then worked in my late 20s to early 30s. I did all the fun I could have: learned snorkeling, skydiving, being lost at nowhere, seeing iceberg, safari, whale, ride on camels, I played as hard as I could, alone or with the company, I just knew I didn't want to take the moments for granted, I might not be able to come back. Couple of serious relationships, didn't work out. Now am settled, don't rravel much anymore, andI'd like to raise a family, There is an art to stay put, it doesn't mean losing the freedom, it's about to find a partner that also appreciate me as an individual..”
huffingtonpost entry

21 Ways to Stress-Free Living and De-Cluttering Your Mind

Commented Feb 13, 2012 at 00:52:25 in Healthy Living

“I agreed with other post, it's stressful just to read it. Woman in general is too insecure about their lives, just learn to live, it's not a quantity of (21) things to do, quality of one hour per day is what matters, I could have one hour so awesome laugh and dine with a friend and my week feels better. There is no perfection, just be social a bit, say hi to a stranger, don't expect anything back, and it feels like volunteering my time for others. Don't COMPARE, set your own standard and live on it truthfully.”
The Odds are Against Women Who Marry Divorced Men

The Odds are Against Women Who Marry Divorced Men

Commented Nov 1, 2011 at 20:26:03 in Fifty

“Am not american, so I side with you. American women have been empowered by media, feminist movements for the last decades. I am still surprised and sometimes disagree that women is perceived as weak/submissive just because they're full time housewives. Women treat men like their mothers respect their fathers. My father never put a finger in the kitchen or laundry or trash, my mother never expects him to do so, but i heard so many women here piss about it :)) American women demand equality, in everything, I think it's hard if not imposible. I think it's possible one day when man can get pregnant too :)) I think outside we take a peace that once a woman got married, she would dedicate and support her husband. American women wants everything (wive, money, career) without even realize it. We pick and enjoy our roles, we don't want or try to compete with men!”
The Odds are Against Women Who Marry Divorced Men

The Odds are Against Women Who Marry Divorced Men

Commented Nov 1, 2011 at 20:03:57 in Fifty

“It's sooo true. I almost dated one guy and didn't see the signs at first. I didn't feel much chemistry. Few years later, everytime I bump into him, especially during holiday times, I realized he STILL couldn't stand not to talk badly about his ex. I think at some level men egos are bruised, once and for good..The more masculin the man is, the harder it is for him to let "the failure" go away. And the worst part of it, from the setup of divorce in America I thiink it's kind of an impossible job to move on with 50 50 shared custody, nagging ex for more supports, mother's father's day, the past life basically stays there, just not in one roof. The best solution is to decide only one person to take full custody,or at least the other is to support only financially. At the end of the day, you can't please everyone, pick a side and move on. Others can judge and let them, one day when the kids grow up, then let them choose.”
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