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jweave's Comments

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Divorce Myths Debunked

Divorce Myths Debunked

Commented Sep 4, 2011 at 18:07:58 in Divorce

“Ok. I wasn't sure about your original post. My divorce has just started and she has been up and down. She doesn't seem able to connect the dots on her behavior and us getting a divorce. She has done some pretty wacky things this past year and currently, like giving "men" she meets while she is out my phone number and I now get text requests for sex on her behalf. fun stuff. But I am very grounded and I let it go becasue all she is doing is trying to press my buttons and get a reaction from me. I find it more sad then anything else. I've taken the "high" road this past year and I will continue to do so. I would never bad mouth her to my kid, after all she is his mom and if she continues with this behavior as he gets older, he will figure it out on his own. The only time I would get between them is if her behavior would put him in some type of danger.”

nltomboy2 on Sep 6, 2011 at 12:37:31

“You sound like a really good guy and a great father! Thumbs up for taking the high road. That stuff about her giving your phone # out to men is simply childish. How old is this woman? And you're right, she's doing it for a reaction from you, to show you how desirable she is to other men. I can only tell you how sorry I am. No one should be treated this way. And that all this behaviour say far more about her than it will ever say about you. Because it is all originating in her brain, right? Do not react at all, because that is what she wants. remember, negative reinforcement is better than no reinforcement at all. Meaning your getting mad at her is better than your completely ignoring her (in her mind.) Good luck.”
Divorce Myths Debunked

Divorce Myths Debunked

Commented Aug 30, 2011 at 14:21:45 in Divorce

“My question you is, how many "chances" do you give your spouse? I found out my wife had cheated on me with someone she meet online. After the affair came to light, she agreed to go to counseling and no longer interact with with the other man. After a year of counseling I checked on her and found out she had been lying the entire time and she never stopped her relationship. She had said all the "right" things but was doing the opposite. I am sorry but if I stay, I am sending a clear mesasge to my wife that her behavior is ok and I fine with it. Not a good way to live your life or teach your children that is how a marriage is suppose to work .”

nltomboy2 on Sep 3, 2011 at 23:38:43

“To jweave, this may be late.. but you are absolutely right. There are some things that are absolute deal breakers. And being married to a person you discover to be a habitual liar is one of them. I was speaking of things like one-night stands, for instance. For your own mental and physical health, and, as you said, to set the proper example for your kids, you do need to set the proper example. However, in doing so, remember that you are divorcing her, not the kids. And it is bad ex-etiquette to bad mouth her to the kids. They will figure it out on their own. (Not saying you do, just cautioning.) But you are certainly entitled to be bitter.)
Another deal breaker would be someone violent, or someone who was involved in criminal behaviour, or an addict who refused to get help. JMO
But I am really sorry for what happened to you.....it stinks. No one deserves that.”

emncaity on Aug 30, 2011 at 17:00:02

“You're right--and I think it's asking a lot of a human to live through that and still stay with the person. It could never be the same, that's for sure, and I would imagine it'd be just nonviable at that point, or I think it would for me. Past behavior is nearly always the best indicator of future behavior, so I think you have to ask yourself, am I OK if this keeps happening? Is there anything about "staying together" that makes this worth it?”