“I didn't say it was ok, I just said it's not a reason to get divorced. I doubt anybody would cheat if they were happy. But is being temporarily unhappy in your marriage a reason to end it? I thought it was for better or for worse. It seems like people are cool with the better part, but when the worse part comes they just get divorced. A vow is a vow, if you promise to stay with someone forever then you have to forgive them if they cheat.”
“If people get married then they need to make a commitment to one another. Whether or not they make mistakes during the relationship, their commitment should keep them together. If they weren't in it in good times and in bad then they shouldn't have lied about it when they got married. People get divorced because somebody hurt their feelings or they're mad. Feelings come and go, everyday isn't going to be great. Years may not be that great. But you work through it and keep going. So yes, if you marry your girlfriend and cheat on her, you should expect her to forgive you for cheating and move on. Or like Dr. Ruth said, don't tell her in the first place.”
RandomIsRandom on Nov 23, 2013 at 16:19:59
“Cheating is NOT okay, IDC what you think. Yes, there is forgiveness, but if you're really happy, you wouldn't do it in the first place.”
“Lots of reasons. Variety, boredom, desire, arrogance. But to suggest that a person can't make a mistake and still love their partner and want to be with them is silly. People have always cheated, it's just that people dealt with it differently. Before they realized that their partner is human and worked it out. Now, they ask questions like "why cheat in the first place" and just get divorced.”
Nov 17, 2013 at 12:39:28
“But the million went straight to where he wanted it. If they had done a big marketing campaign, it probably wouldn't have cost a million and it would've gone to some Madison Ave firm. This way it goes straight to the kids.
This way at least he has some say-so as to whether or not their "changes" are sufficient. If he had just pulled out, he wouldn't have any say. I'll never go to Barney's again, but I'm glad he at least got them to do something. Protesting is great for bringing attention to something, but the only way to effect real change is from the inside.”
Nov 16, 2013 at 18:17:54
“He cut a deal that brought awareness to the issue to effect change on a policy level with Barney's specifically, but change that could affect all luxury retailers. And he ended up getting a bigger commitment from the store to raise money for his charity. Instead of being reactionary, he forced Barney's to guarantee him $1 million and a leadership position to deal with the profiling issues.
It actually reminds me of how Obama got Russia to oversee Syria's disarmament, which ended up being a win-win for everyone involved. Syria wouldn't listen to America anyway without force, and Russia typically avoids anything resembling international compliance, but they were on board this time. If you call these two acts of wisdom "spineless" then it shows how little foresight you possess.”
chloebe on Nov 17, 2013 at 08:26:15
“The company was able to make some bad press go away for only a million. Now they can parade Jay-Z out as a token every time someone questions if they "changed". I'm surprised that they haven't put tap shoes on him and put him in their Christmas windows...”
“Well you have until the end of March to get passed the login page, baller. You'll probably pay more, and I will too, but we'll get better plans out of it. Just the fact that I can actually be honest with my doctor now about my vices without risking being kicked off of my insurance is worth something. No lifetime caps is huge too.”
“Give it 6 months. If people save money it'll be a good thing. If they don't everybody loses. But considering it's not the end of the enrollment period, I don't really get why everybody's so quick to forecast it on either side. They botched the rollout, no doubt, but 123 people signed up for Romneycare the first month and that plan ended up being successful. It's a self inflicted wound, but not a fatal one if the policy really works. Which it is, in the states that have state plans. Everybody agrees the states should handle it, but all the people who are for states' rights didn't accept the plan.”
“He's not passing anything, he's saying he supports the plan he described. The mid terms are a long way away and they have plenty of time to get people signed up. once people actually sign up and actually save money it will be just fine. this happens with a lot of big roll outs. It's a problem, but problems get solved and wet move on.”
JoeJidas on Nov 14, 2013 at 13:03:52
“keep buying into that hope, man. nothing is fixed. the leg still gets sawed off, soldier, but we will give you a painkiller for now.....”
“I have a white friend and I'm black and he says that all the time and nobody has a problem with it. It's just a word, if you use it in a racist manner then it's racist, if you don't then it's not. The whole team said JM and RI were always hanging out with each other and spoke regularly. Nobody noticed any issues between them. And if JM really wanted out of football without giving up his signing bonus, he had to make up a problem with the team or the league or a teammate. Considering TM has a couple million reasons to make this whole thing up, I doubt there's much validity to it. He may be genuinely fed up with RI, but he sure didn't tell anybody or seek help from anybody. I doubt either will ever play again, because the only thing worse than a bully is a snitch.”
“If you and your friends don't tease each other from time to time, then you're not very good friends. Someone can take a joke too far without having a malicious intent, and without knowing they're doing harm to the other person. According to their teammates, the two spent a lot of time together. Sounds like a big misunderstanding that people like you were way too quick to judge. Martin punked out, which is why we haven't seen or heard from him since the story broke. Either that or he really is doing it to get out of football without having to give back his signing bonus. We'll see.”
tyger on Nov 13, 2013 at 17:32:18
“I repeat a White friend calling a Black friend the N word is not joking or harmless. What Id doesn't know that! Whether they are friends will be determined. When Martin says they are friends then I will believe it.”
“Incognito says they were friends and so do most of their teammates. We haven't heard directly from Martin about it, so what proof do you have that they aren't friends?
Just like your son had to get some players straight, Martin should have too. He should have dealt with it like a man like your son did. That doesn't mean you get into a fight with the guy, but you talk to him or the coaches about his behavior and your disapproval of it. Martin didn't do that, and that's where he's at fault.”
tyger on Nov 12, 2013 at 10:01:19
“Friends don't torture friends! They have a working relationship.”
“How can you prove malice? You really think Incognito was literally going to try to kill Martin? And Martin sent Incognito a text a month ago that said "I'll kill your whole family." I mean in public these things sound horrible, but isn't it likely that these two guys were just playing around? Some analysts are saying now that Martin wanted to quit for other reasons and just wanted to keep his signing bonus, so he made up this story to make it look like he had a valid reason for quitting. That motive is worth $1 million, Incognito's motive to kill Martin is worth $0. Which one do you think is more likely?”
“How do you know Incognito's intention? And if Incognito intended to actually kill Martin, why didn't he? Did he even try? If it was hypothetical when you said it, why it an impossibility that it's hypothetical when Incognito said it? Whoever you said it to could have called the police on you and you would go to jail if it's proven that you actually said it. You'd argue that you didn't mean it, and that's all I'm saying in Incognito's case. Neither one of you should have said it, but if there's a possibility it was hypothetical then you can't condemn the guy.
I don't think Incognito actually had hate in his heart for Martin. They were teammates on the same line, so they had to get along on some level. I think Incognito took things too far, but not necessarily maliciously. Clearly at some point Martin didn't think it was funny, but did he communicate that to anybody? His teammates all say stuff like that goes on, but didn't know how out of hand this situation had gotten. It's not like these guys were strangers, they knew each other for at least 2 years. There are other players and coaches Martin could have turned to before he just quit the team. And if he really felt threatened he would have and should have called the police. Both of their actions point to it not being serious, so it seems to only be serious in your mind.”
MoeB on Nov 7, 2013 at 12:31:09
“Perhaps you don't understand the difference.
"I'll kill you IF..." is NOT the same as:
"I'll kill you". It's not my fault if you do not understand the difference. One is a hypothetical, and the other is NOT.
Martin has never stated that he and Incognito were EVER friends...and the bullying had already been happening before the voicemail message. Now, maybe you think it's just hilarious when people you aren't even (allegedly) friends with leave you messages calling your racial slurs, threatening you and your mother, but most people don't.
Do I think Martin thought he was actually going to kill him or hit his mother? No. But OBVIOUSLY Martin thought the situation serious enough to keep the voicemail and eventually lead the team. So NO, it's not only serious "in [my] mind"...if it weren't for Martin thinking this was serious enough to leave the team, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Also, we don't know that Martin never went to anyone and said anything...or maybe he did and nothing came of it because maybe they felt the same as you...it wasn't "serious".
It's fine if YOU don't think it's serious...but Martin, as well as others, aren't obligated to feel the same way you do.”
“It obviously didn't begin with Martin, and I'm not saying Incognito is a good guy or even right in what he did. He was dead wrong. But other people were able to manage Incognito up to this point and Martin failed to. He ended up quitting his job because he got picked on. I just expect more from a Stanford grad. Nobody's defending Incognito, I just think Martin had the wrong response.”
“I would expect a Stanford graduate to handle conflict better than he did. If you can't talk down a bully, how would you perform in a board room during a negotiation? The strong beat the weak everyday of the week. Quitting the team isn't handling conflict, it's running away from it. Their job is to be stronger than the guy on the other team, so this dynamic isn't foreign to them. If he gets in an argument with his wife will he just divorce her? And I could even understand that because a man's wife has leverage over him. A co-worker doesn't. When you're a rookie there's definitely a social pecking order, but it's not real. His coach has leverage over him, so if his coach was doing this then I'd be on his side. But if a teammate tells you to give him $15k and you do it, that's your own fault.
I'd never blame a rape victim, that's totally different. A defenseless woman vs. an aggressive man is vastly different than two men that are the same size.”
“It's a professional business in front of the cameras, but the locker room is a private space for the players. Lawyers don't spray each other with champagne when they win a big case. Doctors don't slap each other on the behind when they make a good diagnosis. So don't pretend like these guys are rocket scientists. If Payton didn't allow that in his locker room then that's great for him and his team. Obviously the Dolphins didn't have a leader like him and it ended up costing them. But stuff like this happens, it happened to me, and it will always happen when you're dealing with a bunch of overgrown adolescents playing a playground game for a living.”
“Well I've said "I'll kill somebody if..." before in my life and I'm sure you have too. An offhand comment like that shouldn't necessarily be taken seriously. But it is a crime actually to verbally threaten someone's life. We all do it, it's just that this guy got caught. I just don't think that means he's a killer or that even Martin thought he was.”
MoeB on Nov 5, 2013 at 15:12:21
“I've probably said that...but such a phrase is a hypothetical...Incognito's comment was NOT.
"F*** you rookie, I'll kill you". That's not a hypothetical, that's a threat. Now, I don't really think it was a serious threat, but it is a threat.
I think it's safe to say these two were not friends...just teammates. And if I'm not friends w/someone...and I'm concerned they may actually do me harm, if you call my phone and start out by calling me a racial slur, and end it by threatening to "kill me", I'm sorry but I'm going to take that seriously. Maybe you would just laugh it off as not being serious, and that's your choice...”
“Because Walgreens isn't the NFL. You can't pour Gatorade on your boss's head or slap your co-workers on the butt at Walgreens either. You're talking about Incognito's past actions, and I agree that he's a jerk and a bully. I just disagree that Martin ever actually feared for his life or the safety of his family because Incognito never had any actual reason to kill any of them. Sure it's not PC to tease people, but let's not pretend like we're talking about mature adults here. It's a bunch of grown men playing a kid's game and getting paid a tremendous amount of money to do so. So don't be surprised if playground antics happen in a playground game.”
bobk in nh on Nov 5, 2013 at 14:34:53
“i'm not sure what your real point is. Incognito crossed the line by a wide margin. And how do you assume Martin is not a mature adult? He graduated from Stanford, and majored in the classic, after opting to not go to Harvard. By all accounts he is a kind, caring individual. I dont doubt for a second Incognito made Martins place of employment very uncomfortable. You sound liek the kid of person who would partislly blame a rape victim because they wore a short skirt.”