“William, sorry if this hit a bit of a nerve. I think a mother "complaining" about wanting to do something other than playing with her children would hear a lot from the chorus...more than fathers, I imagine. Gee. Proof.”
WilliamL on Apr 20, 2014 at 08:46:37
“It is not that it hit a nerve it is that I spent a years as the primary for two children since both were born so I understand the days at the park or mommy and me or up to you ass in laundry and dishes and being covered with a wide variety of baby juice as well as some bottle breast milk on the back of my shoulder out of sight - I have been there - so the noise that mothers would rather be doing something else ? They are young for such a short time and those years will be behind them soon enough so they might consider enjoying it instead of wanting to be doing something else.”
You articulated so nicely what I think a lot of new mothers are just...hit over the head with...and that's the loneliness and isolation you feel at first. Glad to count you as one of my dearest bloggy sisters-in-crime.”
hp blogger Kristen Levithan on Aug 27, 2013 at 15:01:31
“It's shocking, isn't it, how alone you can feel doing something that women have been doing for millennia before us? But that isolation knocked the wind out of me for a long time. Thank you for being one of the voices that welcomed me online from the get-go and made me feel so much less alone.”
“Wolfie, I think the most important point of this post is "kids have good instincts about people." It's true! I am always amazed at the varied reactions my kids have to people--they just go with their gut, and it eerily accurate.”
hp blogger D. A. Wolf on Oct 25, 2012 at 10:28:07
“Kitch, Thanks so much for stopping by to read and comment. I think you nailed my primary point. Kids have excellent instincts. We should pay close attention.
I will add that a good deal depends on the age of the children. Some ages are easier when it comes to accepting a new potential partner (in fact, they may want a new mom or dad so badly they'd accept anyone, and they're too young to discern how they're being treated much less their single parent). But a little older? They're Kid GPS is often right on the money.
But it's trouble again (potentially) when they hit adolescence. Their own changes are difficult enough; if having to deal with a mother or father's sexuality front and center, that can skew their impressions, but more importantly, I believe, make their own discoveries and transitions more challenging.
My bottom line: After divorce - kids first. I know many don't agree with that. But it's my bottom line.”
“BLW, this reflects your strength in so many ways--it's honest, it's thought-provoking, it's not overly emotional and yet, when you read it, you do feel that tug in your insides. You are right; the system has failed a lot of us.”