“The first was in the sky high Rocky Mountains of Colorado. It started exciting and mysterious. Evening with my partner, night alone while everyone slept. There was a wolf refuge next door...I heard them howling. A blizzard outside. By the morning I thought I would lose my mind. I thought I was going to break in two...going to die. I prayed aloud, screaming for deliverance...until I was exhausted in a baby pool in the bathroom, blurry staring eyes around (loving audience), in and out of consciousness. The hardest thing I ever done and then BIRTH. Birth of child, of mother, of new life. I was transformed. He was born in the veil, purple glory. Who knew love like this existed??
The next 8 years later was in the ancient Appalachian Mountains in North Carolina. Alone in my room...hearing sounds emitted from my core...realizing it was all too fast...too much...I heard myself louder and louder. My two quiet and faithful friends came into the pitch darkness. They saw me on the floor. I climbed into a tub. A candle was lit. I screamed out to God and many expletives. The women left to retrieve my older son. When they came into the room I was holding the baby I caught in the water alone. Also in the veil. Transformed again in a whole new way. My elder son cut the cord and weighed his brother.
“I agree with you!! I am a single mama, too and I ALWAYS assume that if there was someone else around those things would be dealt with. More likely, it would be just the same sh**! I would add to the list my bottle of wine. I am actually kind of serious. I used to love sitting around enjoying a glass (or 3) but now I am too busy and too tired to even drink it.”