“I was a kid back then so I didn't know about the death threats. ”
wpnwilo2 on Sep 16, 2013 at 15:01:28
“I wasn't a kid and I was living there at the time. Many were also outraged that she was found to have posed nude prior to her crowning. Miss America was supposed to be the ideal American woman, one not having posed nude for a photographer, and many were outraged because of this. The outrage was not solely because she was black. The good news is she went on to have a fantastic career in music and acting, which that same population considered her worthy enough to fund. They aren't all bigots, but like us they do have them and they get the most media coverage. Especially over here.”
FanaticRealist on Sep 16, 2013 at 12:36:48
“It just goes to show death threats against a beauty queen in the early Eighties, threats of violence against a mixed-race president in this decade and now anger and bigotry against an American of South Asian origin with part of that being inflamed by people who contribute to the so-called Fox News Channel.
I watched a documentary on the BBC a few weeks ago about the MLK "I have a dream" speech: you do have to ask yourself how much attitudes have changed in the US and also how the culture of fear and ignorance that pervades much of this environment has been allowed to fester.”
“Nope. It's always the bad apples that get the most attention. The same arguments people use to say all Christians are bad are the same arguments racists use. Just because you hear more bad things about a particular group doesn't mean all people from that group are bad. ”
“I'm a bit disturbed by this, but I think there's a "marketing" point that has been missed. (My computer sound is busted so I couldn't play the video.) I think that the race of the greeter has little to do with increasing or decreasing diversity in the church. By the time someone shows up at the door, they've decided to attend. It's far more effective to have church volunteers visit specific neighborhoods to invite an intended audience.
It would be useful to figure out why demographics have shifted because if they get more whites in and whatever underlying issues haven't changed, they'll have done all the changes for nothing.
I'm picturing a white couple coming in to the church, looking around after being greeted by white people and thinking "Wait a minute, I thought this was a nice place when I came in and saw those white people...but now I just see a bunch of blacks." I wouldn't want to attract people like that--and if that's what was happening, the church is better off without them anyway.”
Karissa36 on Sep 4, 2013 at 17:07:08
“The culture and congregation in small independent churches like this can change very rapidly. There are lots of internal politics and power struggles in churches, which you can't really see from the outside looking in.”
“So true. Skills formation only works when job formation has created enough slots for those skilled workers. (It's like a sick game of musical chairs--but you've got to take out a load of student loans just to get in the game!) Small business people get the shaft in the U.S. and it's continually becoming a worse place to start a company or create jobs. Without job openings (or any wiggle room to create an opening), you're stuck with overly educated people who then have to support themselves on positions far below their training.”
“Some people don't seem to realize how difficult it is for a retailer to make new stuff and get it sold before it's useless and needs to be replaced for the next season. Even plus-sized retailers have a cut-off point. So--this retailer has size 8 as a cut-off point. Lululemon has known for a long time of the existing plus-sized market share, but they didn't start with attracting it and they're not exactly going out of business because of this. Sure, they're not growing a lot, but they're shutting their doors, either. I'm barely aware of Lululemon--I'm too darned cheap to spend about a hundred bucks on pants unless they're with a suit.”
“There's a right way and a wrong way to do anything. So, you're mentioning that pushing someone is something you've done before. I ain't even gonna ask--but from the tone of your other responses, you seem to be pretty big on reasoning WHY whatever you do or have done qualifies you for a halo. Whatever.
I have had friends who were pestered by "well-meaning" (I'd prefer to say just MEAN) family members and it upset them greatly. I'll never forget going with my friend to her parent's house when she was back from college and as soon as we walked in the door, her mother yelled about how fat she was. What a nice greeting after the year at college... she had always been rather large and gained a few pounds. But--she had been rather large since the beginning of the year. She didn't suddenly shift to plus-sizes during that year. She was constantly berated for the rest of the weekend. I was so uncomfortable being there and I couldn't imagine what it was like to be there as a full-time resident of the house of hell.
I didn't live on campus with her, but I did let her know that if she wanted to go to the gym, I'd go with her. I didn't say she needed to go to the gym or body-shame her, but she just said it wouldn't do any good. She said she'd always be fat and that she would always be ugly. Her Mom”
rufatoof on Aug 1, 2013 at 12:03:40
“Never said I deserved a halo. And yes there is a right way and a wrong way to do anything.
Never said endlessly yell at and berate someone; note how I have already said "Now that doesn't mean doing everything you can to make them cry"
I said that if they don't lose weight it will kill them. And offering to go the the gym is rarely if ever going to be enough. Some people need to be pushed in different ways than others (and for some it won't matter at all), but either way, if they don't change, IT WILL KILL THEM.
“And shaming them will really open their eyes, eh? If someone is in denial, it's really the place of their doctor to give them the info they need. Some "friend" or even a random stranger just isn't going to have the necessary credibility. ”
rufatoof on Jul 31, 2013 at 13:16:41
“That depends on how you define "shaming". Some people will always be rude. Same kind of people who made a double amputee crawl out of an airplane on this hands at Delta. And ya, some stranger won't probably do much. But a friend? A family member? They might have a better chance of getting through than a doc. Sure it will vary on a case by case basis; but most people don't see their doctor more than once a year (if even that....), you live with your family and friends on a day to day basis. And dealing with obesity requires significant changes in ones day to day life. If anyone is going to be able to spur that kind of change it will be the ones there with them day to day.
Now that doesn't mean doing everything you can to make them cry; but it does mean pushing them, sometimes not so gently, to do what needs to be done. I would do it for someone I really cared about. I have before. And if I were in that situation, I would hope someone would do the same for me.”
“It kinda blows my mind that the shaming, concern-trolling folks don't realize FAT PEOPLE ALREADY KNOW they're fat. They don't need someone to tell them they're fat--advertisements and the messages they receive from society and marketing EVERY DAY do a pretty good job of making anybody think they're fat.”
rufatoof on Jul 30, 2013 at 13:59:46
“But a lot of people don't fully understand the totality of the health implications that their condition brings with it.”
“I can't imagine how someone would see the Kermit Gosnell case and think that's an example of what pro-choicers want. Kermit Gosnell is an example of the type of abortion that will exist when Planned Parenthood and other preventative measures are taken away. Most who went to Gosnell didn't have good information on birth control, etc.”