THE BLOG

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Sophie Keller Headshot

How Happy is... How To Deal With Life's Obstacles

Posted: Updated:
Print

A large part of the human experience is dealing with life's obstacles. It is not about not having them, because that is impossible, the true test is how you deal with them. The question is, do you become a victim to your circumstances or do you rise to the challenge and over time find ways to deal with these challenges in a positive manner?

There is the saying that 'God doesn't give you more than you can handle' and it is that very rare occasion that that doesn't seem to be true. But, if you do find yourself in a situation that proves to be exceptionally difficult, whether you have lost your job, a relationship has ended, or you become ill and feel pushed to your limit of what you think you can cope with, then it is at that point, when it seems like your back is up against a wall, that you need to find creative ways to deal with the problem that perhaps you haven't thought of before. The universe is indeed, at this point, forcing you to grow.

Now a lot of unexpected gifts can come out of a testing time, which more often than not, only become clear on looking back, but in my experience if you can take these times and use it to work through whatever you think is holding you back, this seemingly difficult time can help you to move to a new level of consciousness. Which will actually push you closer to living your life as you wish, fulfilling your dreams and evolving as a soul.

On the other hand, if you go through the testing time without taking the lessons that are being presented to you, then you might find that you will have to go through the experience again and again and again until you do learn and you do grow from it.

Let's take a simple example of this, you finish a long relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner, someone who can't give you what you need, but you don't take time to look at your pattern of what drives you to attract this sort of person in to your life, in the first place. You'll then find that the next person you meet will have very similar qualities to your last partner, as that is what you are energetically attracting, and you'll have to go through the same thing again, with a slight variation on logistics and how that unavailability is manifested. The first partner might have just come out of a relationship and not be in to marrying, the second one might withhold sex from you and the third one might be married. All off them, in one way or another, are emotionally unavailable. Of course, you can try to blame the opposite sex for this or, alternatively, look inside yourself for answers.

Just as your soul has ways in which it needs to grow, so does everyone else and some people are prone to be easily pulled in to a partners, family members or friends dramas. However, it is wise to distinguish what is yours and what is theirs, no matter how close you are to them, you need to keep yourself protected in some way. Sure, be there for them in all the ways you can, but remember this is not your life lesson, it is theirs and their soul, in this case, is being forced to grow, not yours.

This can be increasing difficult when you have children and you feel responsible for them, especially if they are going through a tremendous amount and as a parent you just want to make it better. But again, just as you have your journey, your child has their journey and you can't cushion them from what their soul is here to learn. You can support them and be there for them, but you cannot take on their life lessons.

That's it for this week and if you want to contact me, I would love to hear from you at sophie@howhappyis.com.

From Our Partners